Date: December 05, 2024 04:56 am Title: The Card
Oof, really bittersweet with this one. It feels like mentally, thus Pam is already starting to break up with Roy. She knows he wouldn't even consider so.e of the fun Christmas things she'd want to do. Things that would bring her happiness. Hard to think of for sure, but another step closer to her finding her Real Life once more.
Date: November 19, 2024 11:12 am Title: The Doctor
I don't generally require a happy ending to all stories I read, but if this particular one doesn't end with Jim at Pam's side, I'm throwing hands! Also, I think this might be the first 'deja vu' that's hard to believe (but lovely to read), but it's probably just because it isn't from Pam's head, but the doctor's memories. I'm on the edge of my seat for what's next!
Author's Response: Would I do that to you? I guess it is possible - maybe this is her real world and the thing with Jim was her AU - yikes...guess you'll have to keep reading and I do have bit more up my sleeve before we get to an end. Thanks for the read and review - always love to hear from you.
Date: November 16, 2024 01:57 pm Title: The Doctor
Interesting to see the doc from "Company Picnic," with memories from the real world too. No wonder he's a bit confused.
Another message from Vision Jim getting through there in her dream. She even is reaching out to it now. Not wanting it to stop.
This Roy is just beyond the pale. Insulting not only Pam's choice of name but the doctor right there. Also skipping over everything to say Pam is overreacting. The guy is just unable to accept responsibility for anything. Really liked how the doc took him down a couple pegs. Now I'd say this Roy needs to to not only be taken down a few pegs but completely thrown off the ladder, but that's a different story.
However now Pam is finally thinking that this marriage is doomed. It was doomed from the start and shouldn't have happened in the first place. Feels like a big bit of progress here.
Author's Response:
I actually debated myself on how to include him for exactly that reason, but I went with it because I thought it was an interesting and entertaining break-through that would further her breakthrough. Speaking of, yes a big leap here but is it enough. We will have to see.
Thanks for the read and review - I always love hearing your take on things.
Date: November 16, 2024 10:27 am Title: ER
First of all, I thought you captured the ER well. I’m an OR RN who specializes in orthopaedics, but the ER RNs are a different breed— and I’m confident they’d say the same about me. The only change I’d see in the “real world”— especially at a bigger hospital— is that the minute Pam says “pregnant” they’d likely send he up to OB where they have their own ER so to speak for pregnant women— maybe after an x ray for her ankle, but definitely for an absence of fetal movement. There’s little that collectively terrifies non OB healthcare people more than treating someone who’s pregnant— so she’d likely be whisked up there.
I thought your ER waiting room was great and unfortunately common, but we’re trying to get better at the “catch all” waiting room. Many places have a separate waiting area/entrance/bay for psych needs and peds— so I’m sure Scranton Regional is on their way to that.
I loved your characterization and rationalization of the different nurses because I think it’s so true… one of my coworkers whom I love and respect deeply told me very complimentary and very kindly the other day that he thinks I would be great at being our OR service specialist but I know it would take me out of directly caring for patients every day and dealing more with surgeons, suits, and admin and I do not want to be changed by that.
You continue to not sell me on Roy… but I was hopeful when Pam noticed the absence of fetal movement was associated with the presence of Roy. Still, I’m concerned until she gets checked out— and interested to see where this leads!! Thanks for posting!
Author's Response:
A big thanks for your vote of confidence about the ER scene. I know I didn't get everything right and a lot wrong (and based on something you said I even made a slight - post-edit to the chapter I just put up...so thanks for the thorough review.
My limited personal knowledge had me referring to ER for a general sense of the scene (and now I'm doing a full on rewatch to the point my next fan fic might be about Carter or Carol). And there's an episode in the first season that clearly demonstrates your point about the non-OB healthcare people.
But let's just say this hospital was not so big, and on that night happened to be overrun with more emergency c-sections than OB professionals upstairs and lastly existed in a fan-fictional world.
And I appreciate you as a nurse - especially if you are like the one I was envisioning at the later part of chapter (although I imagine the gatekeeping nurses and clerks must have to be tough to keep things running smooth or as smooth as possible).
Thanks again for the review and hope you enjoy the next part (even though I'm sure I might have more "not quite right").
Date: November 09, 2024 04:29 pm Title: ER
I think you did a fairly good job of depicting the waiting room of an emergency department. People show up thinking their case is the biggest thing in the world only to get told to sit down because real emergencies take priority. There's a reason why most big hospitals have one of their biggest security stations there at the ED waiting room.
Another point against Roy. Him impatience with EMS. Yes, in an emergency we are allowed to park where we need to. Then he comes storming in and doesn't have anything comforting to say to Pam. His wife and unborn child are in the ER and all he can think about his is stomach.
I will say this, it's good to see Pam starting to take a very hard look at him. Even without any visions of her real life. It's some great introspection on her part for sure. Hopefully there's nothing serious going on with her. Then when they get home she keeps letting him have it. The guy deserves it. She's seeing it more and more too.
Author's Response:
Ha ha - I like your getting defensive about Roy complaining about the ambulance parking. Thanks for not being too critical about my ER depiction. I know I got a lot "not quite right" but hey I'm getting my details from ER the show...what started as a single viewing to give me a feel for what I was writing has turned to a full on rewatch. Pretty soon Carter and Dr. Green will show up in a crossover fic (kidding).
And yes, Pam might be coming to see the light about the man she married. Slowly.
Thanks again for the review.
Date: October 28, 2024 03:37 pm Title: Bachelorette Party
Oooh. This was angsty. Actually, it’s all very angsty, but this one with Katy and Roy’s comment about Pam not being able to stay pregnant is just oooh. I’ll admit, it’s been tough to read Pam in this sad, miserable, alternative dream life with Roy— especially when this story starts on the precipice of Jim and Pam’s bright Austin future. I loved the glimpse of Jim in the end and am looking forward to seeing how Pam is (in realtime), what’s causing her dream, and how it ultimately changes her current relationship with Jim! Thanks for pushing on, I’m starting to see this a little more clearly now!
Author's Response:
Sorry for all the angst. Yeah, Pam has it rough in this life. It's quite the polar opposite from her life with Jim (even though they had their season 9 problems). I can't say much but I do like how you are thinking about the story.
I will say my story idea stemmed in part from a movie, The Family Man, (though he had awareness she doesn't, at least consciously) but that brought about the idea of pieces of her life breaking into this one. Incorporating these in is a lot of fun (like the house, the list, the CD, the tie, etc. and more to come) as well as writing the glimpses of "real" life. I'm glad you are appreciating how they play in.
Thanks ever so much for reading and reviewing.
Date: October 28, 2024 11:43 am Title: Bachelorette Party
Bachelorette seems like the least spoilery to me, so good choice. I'm living for these 'hallucinations', I need to cherish them more because they're getting further between.
Author's Response: Yeah, I had a few others but they would give away too much...we think alike as I chose bachelorette for it's non-spoiler disclosure.
I promise I have a few more breakthroughs to come, some will be quite revealing and some just fun to work in. Thanks for being patient and the reads and reviews.
Date: October 27, 2024 04:16 pm Title: Bachelorette Party
Ok I'm back into full on hating Roy now. Any goodwill I might have had for him in slowly stepping up is just gone now. Still talking to Katy, not telling Pam he'd seen her, that incredibly hurtful comment, and of course the gaslighting when she gets hurt. I mean, the guy is trash.
Pam has every right to walk away from something like that. He doesn't care about her, doesn't know her, even when she's being 100% direct he still blows if off. Just can't stand him.
The quick vision though was interesting. She knows exactly who that was. She knows where her heart truly lies. Again I have this image of off in some celestial space, this Vision Jim is doing everything he can to remind her of her true self. To call Real Pam back home. Vison Jim is throwing what he can when he can in hopes it'll break through. Memories of them, notes he's written, Phil's name, influencing his parents in this world to cross her path. Trying to give her the courage that Real Pam has to find her true self. Of course her heart responds as it should. How could it not? Maybe now that she's seen first hand just how callous Roy can be, she'll start listening to her heart more.
Author's Response:
Yeah, he's quite irredeemable after this incident, though I would still contend it's more his immaturity and his own insecurity dictating his actions and words. But Pam feels trapped (do I mean literally or figuratively, maybe both). I'm liking your take on Vision Jim.
I know you want to shake her. Just know her sock drawer is getting really hard to close.
Thanks for the read and review...always.
Date: October 20, 2024 11:05 pm Title: Zucchini
So that's why Pam didn't just dump Roy after the hockey game. They were already together. And already the patten that Roy forgets about Pam had set in even at that early start. Jeez there really were red flags everywhere and still are.
So a bit of a new arc here. I do wonder if the lady who let Pam skip to the head of the line will make another appearance. I have a feeling I know who that is, especially with the name Philip popping up everywhere.
Author's Response:
Don't know if you caught the early influence embedded in this flashback.
And of course you know her. A bit more to the arc so we will see.
Thanks for the review.
Date: September 23, 2024 06:38 am Title: Different Waters
A bit of a slow start to this chapter, but that's okay. It was good build up for the second half. It was interesting to see that Pam is still making excuses for Roy. Yes he's helping, but it feels like about 50% effort. So she's annoyed at the 50% that doesn't get covered, but will still make the excuse for him. Feels like that's been something that has been going on for far to long. See also her not saying anything about him going off to bachelor's parties and essentially living the single life again.
But then the big thing. She's had reminders of both Cece and Philip, but now, an incredibly vivid vision of Jim and her Real wedding. The wedding that was just for her and Jim. I find it so very telling that her deepest sense of happiness comes roaring back like the waterfall she's seeing.
What I will find very interesting is how she will react to this bit of a cliffhanger. She's starting to stand up to Roy more and more, but now what will happen that Roy's temper is aroused? Is that even Roy's tie? Is it another piece of her Real life that's come sneaking in? Will she remember the true owner of that tie? Cant wait to find out.
Author's Response: Sorry for the slow start but with the last chapter ending with Roy almost showing promise, wanted to convey that even his trying is far from what a Pam Halpert has/had/would have (although to be fair, didn't we find out Jim is like a sloppy, homeless hobo per Darryl). But with Roy, the issues are much more than the lack of help with housework.
Alas for the nature of dreams....sometimes even the most vivid, realistic ones don't last and often fade from memory the moment you open your eyes...sometimes there's those remnants of what they were immediately after that seem to quickly go poof, where you know you had dreamt of sometime fantastical and yet try and recount it and it is gone and all your left with is that wish you were still there in the dream despite not knowing why. And then to wake up to Roy snapping about a damaged tie, you never saw before, but probably was snipped off in some stupid bachelor party prank, bar bet or other drunken stupidity. But you don't have time or energy to argue especially while you are trying to remember the amazing dream that he has essentially barked away any chance of bringing back to mind. (I might have to use this in the chapter notes)
As for the other comment about Jim waiting, I do love that and again you might be onto something but in crafting the story I think more from her POV. Deep down does she know she trapped in an alt life - and with all she knows of it, again subconsciously, she knows her real husband is patiently waiting for her, just as he did at first?
Again thanks for your reviews. I always appreciate hearing what you think (and sometimes it helps to know what might need to be elucidated further as in this case).
Date: September 19, 2024 12:52 pm Title: Things Remembered
Ooh! Some big reminders of Real Pam here. Especially with a mention of Pam Halpert and Philip. Really shows that despite her head, her heart knows who her true soul mate is. I also caught that little reference with the faded receipt. Nice touch. It also feels like this Pam is starting to stand up to Roy a little more. Not just letting him get away with things. While I'm sure that's a nice change of pace, it also feels odd that I'm glad Roy is listening to her. It's a weird dynamic. Yes I'm glad she's getting listened to but it's Roy. I'm kind of thinking that the more she starts to stand up for herself, the more reminders will show up and hopefully lead her back to where she's meant to be. Time will tell though.
Author's Response:
Hmm, you might be onto something. Next chapter will tell and its up.
Like that receipt, did you? Hope you looked up the address to get the full effect.
Thanks as always for reviewing.
Date: September 15, 2024 01:19 pm Title: Things Remembered
Is there a specific episode to rewatch if I forgot about the Inn Pam's note mentioned? I cannot come up with any scene that would mention it... Great chapter!
Author's Response:
Thanks a bunch...and if you liked this one I think you will really like the next (part of the same arc and for the most part written...a little editing yet to finish). If you can wait, I think it will be clear where the note is from upon reading, but also if you can't wait and haven't already, the episode will clearly reveal itself with a quick web search of the inn. The address written is telling too.
The artifacts, relics and other hints at another life are what I'm most enjoying about writing this one and there are a few more to come.
Again, many thanks for your reviews as this story continues...
Date: September 03, 2024 01:25 pm Title: Forgetting Things
Feel like Pam is still more annoyed at Roy than enjoying his company. Roy has a few bright spots here and there, but on the whole, he's still only looking out for himself, not looking out for what she need or wants. His focus isn't on her, it's on getting enough done so he can hang out with his buddies and drink.
Pam is kind of letting him do that too. She keeps justifying his behavior, not taking a stand for what she wants. All of that really makes me wonder what if anything is going to get her to finally make it back to the real world and her real life.
Author's Response:
Well, this is not the Pam who walked across hot coals and found her strength. This is the one who was fine with her choices and so she has to keep telling herself that - even if deep down she knows there's something not right, with herself, her husband and her life. And this is Roy. If you are having a reaction to him, it's intended that and glad it's coming across.
But all the same, out there is a real reality. More seeping through to come. Thanks for staying with it and always sharing thoughts.
Date: September 02, 2024 08:12 pm Title: Forgetting Things
The more I read this, the less I understand why Pam wants to have kids with Roy.
I can't imagine Roy been less annoying or more understanding of Pam needs in her other pregnancys, so why did she keeps trying to have a baby with him? 8 can't wrap my mind around it so I'm having a hard time sympathizing with her.
Sorry Pam, you chose your bed, now lie in it.
Author's Response:
Yes, this version of Pam made some very bad choices and is now stuck in a very uncomfortable bed. But she wouldn't be the first one to think having a baby is a way to fix what's wrong in a marriage or relationship (not that the tactic often works). Besides, with what little joy she gets from Roy why wouldn't she want to bring herself some with a child, one that is not her immature husband.
The strong reaction you are having to Roy is exactly what I intend. Even when he is behaving "better" he is still not a great partner. Glad that is coming through.
But there's some more to come with breaking through moments - where glimpses of another/better life poke at her.
Thanks for the review.
Date: July 18, 2024 06:20 am Title: Closing Time
There are worse versions, indeed... Thanks for updating by the way!
Date: July 18, 2024 06:19 am Title: Closing Time
There are worse versions, indeed... Thanks for updating by the way!
Date: July 17, 2024 09:50 am Title: Person from the Past
Big blast from the past moment here. Jim's number reappearing on her phone. The instant regret that fills her when she realizes who it was that was at the bar. How could she not have everything well up? Yet once more, she ignores all the signs she's seeing. The universe is throwing up sign after sign, red flag after red flag and she ignores or pushes aside every single one. I'll be honest, I'm not sure what it's going to take at this point. She knows she's not happy. She keeps getting signs that this is not how things are supposed to be. Kind of a rough go of things here right now.
Date: July 11, 2024 12:46 pm Title: Lasagna
I'm definitely on the "not enjoying this particular life-partner of Pam's" side. Roy is so nasty in your version🥴. I cannot wait for her to "wake up".
Date: July 11, 2024 12:46 pm Title: Lasagna
I'm definitely on the "not enjoying this particular life-partner of Pam's" side. Roy is so nasty in your version🥴. I cannot wait for her to "wake up".
Author's Response:
Yea, he's pretty awful (but I've read worse versions of him). Still I get it, he sucks here.
Date: July 06, 2024 11:02 am Title: Lasagna
It's clear this Pam wants more out of this life. She wants to feel fulfilled. She wants a husband not a man-child. She wants to spread her wings and see what happens. However, she's scared. Scared of stepping out of her comfort zone. Case in point not speaking her mind about the sauce. By this time, Real Pam would have had no problem saying clearly what she wanted for something like this. Case in point correcting the bartender about her drink order.
She has a huge piece of her life missing and it shows. The things that would cause her to bloom are dismissed as memories.
A small step forward for Roy, but another big step backwards. He abandoned her in the driveway to get the food, now he won't even walk her inside before heading out again. Who knows what's going to happen at the bar. I'm kind of hoping that while she's alone in her/Jim's old house something will kick in.
Author's Response:
As usual you are right on - It's not just being with Roy that has prevented her own growth, it's that she hasn't taken that first step and found her "wings".
Roy is trying though. He's just used to being, well, Roy. This maturity, becoming a dad thing is foreign to him too, he's been coasting so long.
Thanks for always sharing a review.
Date: July 05, 2024 08:04 pm Title: Closing Time
It has taken me a while to get invested in this fic, but I'm getting there.
At the beginning it was the length of the chapters and is felt very redundant at times, like I felt I was reading the same thing over and over. But now I think with the smaller chapters it's been easier to get invested.
I do think that maybe finding a beta would help, because even though the chapters are smaller it still feel like it goes around and around the same thing over and over again. I don't want to discouraged your writing, I want to know we're this is going and I'm going to keep on reading, I just writing because you ask for feedback.
And speaking of the story, I wish we knew what is Jim is doing in this alternate reality. Is he married, is he happy, does he think of Pam once in a while? Also what happend to real Pam, is she still on the floor of the bathroom, did someone found her, is she on a coma? I just want to know what is going on.
Author's Response:
Hi StopDating,
thank you for your review...glad you are getting more invested. I wish I could tell you what's with Jim but since this is Pam's anti-fantasy and her POV she wouldn't have that info (there will be something to that later too) - quite honestly, I don't even know myself except that "real" Jim is in Austin dealing with getting the house rehabbed and starting a flower garden on the terrace.
I do plan to keep the chapters shorter...I guess makes for an easier read and helps me to too to write/edit in smaller bits.
Thanks again, hope you'll be back even without Jim's status.
Date: June 29, 2024 07:44 pm Title: Flowers and Ice Buckets
I get why Pam is still steamed. She has to lead Roy around like a child and even then gets barely anything more than the barest of bare minimum. Yes he got her food and flowers, but only cleaned up halfway. The flowers were not set out nicely for her. Thing is he's probably thinking he's done some great big gesture and that should tide him over for awhile. The guy just doesn't have it in him to really listen to what's going on with her. I wonder when the next Real Pam artifact will show up and how that will play out.
Date: June 22, 2024 08:01 am Title: Overload
Pam's really going through it right now. What with all the flashbacks and having to deal with Michael in full Michael mode. Good God Roy, can you pull you head out of your ass for even a second? Not that I'm rooting for Roy in anyway, but dude, pay attention! Your pregnant wife is asleep on the way home and your first thought is, what is she going to make for dinner? I really don't like him.
Pam's reactions to Up are also interesting. Clearly real Pam knows this movie in and out. I also find it telling that she knows the movie is about finding and being with one's soul mate, has identified with that in the "past," and the Roy is not that man.
Really looking forward to seeing what it will take for her to get back to where she belongs.
Date: June 16, 2024 01:52 pm Title: Music of the Heart
I was so sure Pam would 'wake up' at the beginning of this chapter... Nevertheless, you're keeping me on the edge of my seat.
Date: June 15, 2024 02:03 am Title: Closing Time
I tried to put reading this one as long as I could (as I would with and work in progress), but your recent update got my hopes up that you intend to finish it. I very much regret skimming the author's note, I expect not to be surprised where the story's going, but on the other hand, it's exactly the type of a story I love reading. I cannot wait to find out what you got in store for us!
Author's Response:
What a nice surprise to get this review - just as I was working on the next chapter too.
And yes, my intention is to finish it (I will admit its been taking me much longer to write my stories and update these days). I've got the complete story arc fleshed out through to the end in my head but there's a lot of writing to do.
I hope my track record gives me some credit that my intentions are good even if it takes me longer this time around.
As for where it's going, there's the 'obvious' but I think I've slipped in some surprises that I hope will intrigue you.
Thanks for the read and review...and hope you do enjoy.