Date: December 25, 2006 08:17 pm Title: Chapter 14
I love Toby in this chapter. This line: Toby lingered awkwardly, then said quietly, almost inaudibly: "You and Jim...you're both really lucky." is so great.
And I loved this: But here she was, and he knew instinctively that she was teetering on the edge of something. Or maybe she'd already fallen.
Such a great chapter. I really love this story.
Date: December 25, 2006 08:07 pm Title: Chapter 14
Aw, Girl7, beautiful! Simply beautiful!
Date: December 25, 2006 07:54 pm Title: Chapter 14
Creed catching flies with chopsticks, was that a Karate Kid shout-out. That is totally something I would expect to see him do. I liked Pam's story and how she wove it into her confession.
And anytime Jim says "Let's do it.", well, you know...it's a good thing.
Thanks for making my Christmas merry :)
10 [Report This]Date: December 24, 2006 04:24 am Title: Chapter 13
I'm sad that KaPam are no mo' ;-(
and I look forward to the next chapter!!
Date: December 23, 2006 10:57 pm Title: Chapter 11
You've so perfectly captured what it feels like to fall out of love. thanks for that -
Date: December 23, 2006 10:20 pm Title: Chapter 13
Wow, this was a great, but super-maddening place to leave off. I can't WAIT to see what happens next. *sigh* It's so crazy; your Michael chapter nearly had me in tears I was laughing and cringing so much, and now this chapter - just leaves me with a sense of sadness and longing and ... sigh. It's exactly where I see things right now, so I can't WAIT for the happy ending!
(Because ... that's what she said!!)
Date: December 23, 2006 10:06 pm Title: Chapter 9: Michael's Mediation
OMG. Best. Chapter. Ever. This was over-the-top in pitch-perfect Michael Scott style. I laughed and squealed and covered my face so many times reading this and now all I can think is, "Oh my God, Roy's going to beat Jim up!" and wow... this is fantastic. I could totally see this happening on the show. I want Mr. GF to read this because I think he'd find it just hilarious, too -- we both love the awkward-Michael moments. Wow. Okay.... wow.
Date: December 23, 2006 09:51 pm Title: Chapter 4: Roy
Okay, so I've been gone and I've caught up to your third chapter so far. LOVE IT so far. I had to stop and comment here, because -- okay, well, let's see -- Styx?? EXCELLENT. I have that song on a mix CD and I had to start singing it. Your Michael dialogue is just perfect in this one, too -- "My distant younger cousin." LOL!
I also really liked the ending to the Karen chapter; your details have been excellent -- the comment about Cugino's and how Jim insisted they go to another place that just isn't very good and how Karen questions about them eating out ... you did an awesome job at getting into her head! Can't wait to read more ... here I go ...
(again on my own) *snerk*
9 [Report This]Date: December 23, 2006 03:53 pm Title: Chapter 13
Because this was real life, and real life was decidedly more messy than fairy tales, the tradeoff being that it was also markedly more visceral, emotions less obtuse, desires more pronounced.
This is EXACTLY why I love and adore your writing style. You've done a great job catching the "real life" moments. This is a great Christmas Eve Eve/Last night of Hannukah present. Thanks!
Date: December 23, 2006 11:39 am Title: Chapter 13
This line is fan-freaking-tastic: real life is decidedly more messy than fairy tales -- and I really liked how your wrote the Pam-Karen confrontation without the overly romanticized cliches.
And of course, I cannot freaking wait for the next chapter. Obviously.
Date: December 23, 2006 04:22 am Title: Chapter 13
You're so good at painstakingly building these entire sagas, and keeping me coming back for more. I like that you've made Jim so decent - the way he treats Karen, despite his true feelings. And that Karen's final acquiescense in this chapter is understated, not melodramatic. It's not a fairly tale, as you said, and it's also not about Pam getting someone else's permission (though I do think she'd be sensitive to Roy and Karen, as you've depicted her) - time for her to go for what she wants, damn the torpedos. Bring on the ultimate confrontation!
Date: December 22, 2006 11:36 pm Title: Chapter 13
Very nice! Only one little quibble...
"the tradeoff being that it was also markedly more visceral, emotions less obtuse, desires more pronounced." -- A little verbose IMO... you probably could have ended it after "decidedly more messy than fairy tales".
Nicely written, though.
9 [Report This]Date: December 22, 2006 08:26 pm Title: Chapter 13
...Because this was real life, and real life was decidedly more messy than fairy tales, the tradeoff being that it was also markedly more visceral, emotions less obtuse, desires more pronounced.
Gah. Just....yes. You have just taken this one little concept and imagined/written it so well that it leaves me in constant awe. Seriously. Thank you. I don't normally read WIPs, and this is too amazing not to. I can't wait to read unlucky (for some) number 13.
Date: December 22, 2006 08:14 pm Title: Chapter 13
Living this fic so so so much. Can the next chapter have Pam and Jim finally having The Fight? Please **gives best Sad!Jim eyes**
Followed of course by, um, making up...or out...
10 [Report This]Date: December 20, 2006 08:21 pm Title: Chapter 12
I'm loving this series! It makes me sad to think that Jim doted on Karen like that, but it's realistic. It's good to point out that he was willing to move on until he saw Pam again! I can't wait for more!
Date: December 20, 2006 06:41 pm Title: Chapter 12
So glad you posted on TWoP or I would have missed this chapter of angsty goodness. Love the Shrek reference!
Date: December 20, 2006 07:15 am Title: Chapter 12
I like Karen's common sense in realizing that Jim is a wonderful guy. Looking forward to more.
Date: December 19, 2006 08:22 pm Title: Chapter 12
The truth shall set you free even if it breaks a few hearts in the process. Can't wait for the next update!
Date: December 19, 2006 08:15 pm Title: Chapter 9: Michael's Mediation
This is definitely not over the top - at all! It is something that Michael would most certainly do, and do just as you described! You had everyone's voice (or thoughts) down pat - what a great chapter. And this line made me LOL -
"I believe you had just announced that Anna needed a mediator." Creed supplied, taking off his glasses as he added, "...between herself and her breast pump."
Date: December 19, 2006 08:05 pm Title: Chapter 6: Jim
That was a brilliant move for Pam to bring the teapot back to work! Nothing like stirring up good old memories from the teapot of love!
10 [Report This]Date: December 19, 2006 08:01 pm Title: Chapter 12
Best chapter ever. You nailed girl - every one of them. Roy, Pam, Karen & Jim. This makes me care about each character that much more. Well done.
Date: December 19, 2006 07:52 pm Title: Chapter 12
Oh, man. These poor people! Karen is seriously breaking my heart. Also, of course Jim looks after girls when they're sick. Of course. Hee! *scuttles back to her own story, shaking fist at updates*
10 [Report This]Date: December 19, 2006 07:48 pm Title: Chapter 10
Another overall great chapter. I wonder if Roy would be so confrontational. Would he be able to put 2 & 2 together so quickly (even with it spelled out for him). I think you really caught Jim, though. Evasive, tortured. Awesome.
8 [Report This]Date: December 19, 2006 07:46 pm Title: Chapter 12
Oh Girl 7 - I'm so glad you are back! Loving all of the frequent updates. I like how you worked Shrek 2 into this chapter (as we know Shrek 3 is in JK's future!) Can't wait to see how this one turns out!
10 [Report This]Date: December 19, 2006 07:41 pm Title: Chapter 9: Michael's Mediation
Yikes, what a chapter. I felt icky in all the right places. I don't think this is over the top at all. I'm continually amazed at the things Michael says and does. I really liked this chapter, however, I'm too dense to figure out why it's in this series. Great tension.