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Reviewer: belsum Signed [Report This]
Date: February 07, 2007 10:46 am Title: Michael's Side of the Story

This actually brought tears to my eyes!  I think it's a wonderful companion piece to the Jan POV.  So sweet that Michael was that concerned about doing something wrong and ruining his fairy tale. 

she’s so beautiful and sophisticated and Jan

Such a perfect line.  And the repetition of describing Jan's attributes as being so Jan was lovely.

Reviewer: Sdrums Anonymous [Report This]
Date: January 16, 2007 05:44 am Title: Chapter 1

I have been waiting forever for  Michael/Jan Jamaica fic, and you definitely delivered! Awesome, please write more!!!

Reviewer: desert island Signed [Report This]
Date: January 15, 2007 09:40 pm Title: Chapter 1

Your Jan characterization is really great and spot on. Glad you added Michael's point of view!

Reviewer: Morning Angel Signed [Report This]
Date: January 15, 2007 09:09 pm Title: Michael's Side of the Story

Poor Michael, always convinced he's screwed things up because Jan has a way of sending mixed signals (and Michael is not always the best at reading signals anyway.)  I think you captured Michael's tenderness and adoration of Jan very well.

Author's Response: Thanks!  I'm still not quite happy with it (I think I "get" Jan much more easily), but I'll keep trying :o)  Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: 69 cups of noodles Signed [Report This]
Date: January 15, 2007 01:32 pm Title: Chapter 1

Wow, what took me so long to read this?  It was great.  Really great.  I love this part:

As she floats over him, she realizes (while he gasps) – that this is what she’s been missing, without ever realizing it. She knows (with certainty) that however she feels, smells, looks, he will always turn to her with that same expression. That combination of adoration, lust, wonder that makes her lose her head.

It just so perfectly sums up Jan's feelings for Michael.  Awesome job!





Author's Response:

Wow, thanks!  Glad you did read it ;o)

That's the part about Michael that i think really gets her - because it throws her off so much.  He just adores her, and she's alternately flattered and terrified by it.  

 Thanks again for the review!

Reviewer: belsum Signed [Report This]
Date: January 15, 2007 12:09 pm Title: Chapter 1

Jan/Michael is my favorite show couple and I thank you so much for this beautiful story.  I loved all of Jan's internal asides.  I always say that Jan can make Michael be a better man; it was nice to see Michael make Jan be a better woman.  I'd love another chapter.



Author's Response: I'm so happy you liked it :o) and you're so spot-on about them kind of bringing the best out in each other.  That, I think, is part of the reason they're so compelling to watch (and, okay, obsess over and write about)!  Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: Rebecca Anonymous [Report This]
Date: January 15, 2007 06:42 am Title: Chapter 1

this was really good! it seems so like waht i could imagine jan thinking.

Author's Response: Thank you!  Glad you enjoyed it!

Reviewer: Paper Jam Signed [Report This]
Date: January 14, 2007 10:14 pm Title: Chapter 1

So great! You write Jan really well. My favourite line is: This is going to be a disaster (and what if it’s not?). because I really think it'll be both, and you've done an excellent job of conveying the conflict she must feel about her feelings for Michael.


Author's Response: Hee, thanks!  I think you're exactly right -- Jan's not sure whether to be more terrified of the whole thing crashing and burning or actually amounting to something!

Reviewer: Colette Signed [Report This]
Date: January 14, 2007 09:32 pm Title: Chapter 1

So this is what that trip was about! You really tuned in on what that thing is between them, why Jan would be drawn to Michael. Why she'd respond to his uncomplicated adoration and how he still might surprise her, for all his ridiculousness. I think the parenthesis work as a way to add another dimension to her thoughts, sort of a more incisive p.o.v.  Nicely done.

Author's Response: Thank you!  I definitely feel that their relationship is a little strang and, on the surface, inexplicable.  But there's clearly something about him that keeps her coming back... and I like to think it's this, like, awe he has for her.

Reviewer: fireworkfiasco Anonymous [Report This]
Date: January 14, 2007 08:57 pm Title: Chapter 1

OHMIGOD YOU MADE ME READ JAN/MICHAEL. I've always been "eh" about those two - nothing personal, just...Steve Carrell reminds me too much of my father to have sex - and then I read this and OHMIGOD.

I liked it.

Shh - don't tell people. I can't have them knowing. The paranthesis are wonderfully used and add a whole new layer to Jan second guessing herself and I love it. Brava.



Author's Response:

Hah! This made me laugh.  The funny thing is that Michael and Jan were not my original favorites... but they have (clearly) grown on me!

SO glad you liked it!! 

Reviewer: Morning Angel Signed [Report This]
Date: January 14, 2007 07:47 pm Title: Chapter 1

Wow, this was really interesting.  Your use of parentheses really works as the little voice in Jan's head.  Michael and Jan just fascinate me, and I like that you have a little explanation to the whole "Why did she go to Jamaica with him anyway?"  By the way, feel free to enter your story as a response to the "Jamaica Jan Sun Princess" challenge.  It is a perfect answer to it! :)

Author's Response:

Oohh, how did I not know there was a Jamaica Jan Sun Princess challenge??  I will definitely investigate.

Thanks so much for reviewing! 

Reviewer: lisahoo Signed [Report This]
Date: January 14, 2007 07:32 pm Title: Chapter 1

Oh yay (claps hands!) I would have LOVED to have seen the Jamaica trip -- and Michael does ADORE Jan with that little kid wonder in his eyes.  And Jan is becoming one of my favorite characters -- she's so wonderfully messed up and you captured that very nicely!!

Author's Response:

I KNOW... WHY did the camera not follow them to Jamaica ;o)?!?

Thanks, though, and glad you enjoyed it! 

Reviewer: falldownmore Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: January 14, 2007 06:59 pm Title: Chapter 1

and now that i've read it ... wow. totally loved it. the extra little comments in the parentheses just added to the spot-on characterization. awesome!

Author's Response:

Thanks!  I've definitely never written anything quite like this before.  Glad you enjoyed.

And thanks also for the tip about selecting multiple warnings - I was trying to use the shift key instead of the apple key.  It's fixed :o)

Reviewer: falldownmore Signed [Report This]
Date: January 14, 2007 06:56 pm Title: Chapter 1

i haven't read it yet (but i will soon!) i just wanted to let a fellow mac user know that selecting multiple options in the 'warning' section is as easy as holding down the apple button as you select :)

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