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*** Thank GOD the hiatus is over.

Waiting for you

All my sins, I said that I would pay for them,

If I could come back to you

All my innocence is wasted on the dead and dreaming

Counting Crows, Angels of the Silences

He'd hate her.

It couldn't be that hard.

He'd forget her laugh, her smile, her eyes, her hair. He'd push her out of his pores if he had to.

She wasn't going to hold him anymore.

He'd started (wanted) to let her fill him up, take him over.

Again.

But she'd drifted past him, a whisper of brown, and chosen someone else.

Again.

So he'd made up his mind.

Enough.

Done.

Finished.

Then Roy barged in, all fury and arms.

A glance in her direction - perfect little mouth, gaped in an ‘O' - and he'd known.

After ten months, she'd finally done something.

And it burned like only she could; blazed inside his blood.

It's just so stupid. I mean, getting back with Roy and everything. I mean, what was I thinking, right?

He hated her for making him hope. Hoping, waiting, longing, for her had been his demise.

And if Roy was really gone, if she was coming clean... he'd wait for her again.

Unwittingly, unknowingly.

Blindly.

Because it was her.

He had to believe, to convince himself, she wasn't there on the other side, hoping waiting, longing for him. Because if she was, if he went back, and was wrong... again... there'd be nothing left of him.

So he lied.

And it ripped at him; felt like metal on his tongue.

Not anymore. It's um, it's completely over now.

The cynical laugh came easy. Skeptical words felt like truth and helped him ignore the apology on her lips. The one that spoke of something other than last week's incident with Roy.

That made him want to ask, what for, exactly?

He turned around.

Walked away.

He was punishing her a little, and he didn't care.