The night wasn't supposed to end in tears. Pam was supposed to go home with Roy, and they were supposed to have sex in their old bed, and she was supposed to find her clothes at three in the morning, and get dressed clumsily in the dark, and go home. Or maybe they would give their relationship another go, and he would cook her breakfast in the morning, and they would talk all day, and things would be like they used to be, but better because Roy had realized what he'd lost, and maybe had a better idea of how to keep her happy.

But instead, they'd gone back to his place- their old place- and it smelled the same, but felt like long ago, like going back in time. After the slam of the front door, he gazed at her with those soft, deep blue eyes of his, and kissed her in a way he hadn't kissed her in years, and it was comfortable, and sweet, and she felt like she was falling, falling. And when they ended up in the bed they used to share together, that had been covered with his new sheets, and his new blankets, where he moved above her and inside of her, and was more attentive to her needs than ever, her eyes began to fill with tears because everything felt so messed up and upside-down. She wasn't supposed to be back there, having sex with Roy, whose face felt so different with its new layer of scruff, who was more gentle and attentive than ever before, who she'd left in what felt like another lifetime because she'd been finally brave enough to realize what she wanted in life.

And she wasn't supposed to be doing this while she loved someone else. Wasn't supposed to be doing this because she loved someone else. She wasn't the kind of person who drowned her sorrows in another warm body, and Roy didn't deserve this. He loved her, and she had no intention of staying with him. And God, he doesn't even know about Jim, and their kiss, and Casino Night, and how much of a factor that was in making her realize that Roy wasn't the one for her.

It was too much, and a sob escaped her, and her hands moved from the hot skin of Roy's back to cover her face, and the tears trickled down, down, soaking her hair. He stopped moving, and pulled back from her slightly.

"Pammy, what's wrong?" He was the only one who'd ever called her that, and it made it all so real that she just cried harder, sobbing into her hands.

He slid off of her to her side, still leaning against her, and gently pulled her hands from her face. "Hey, what's up?" He implored again, softly, holding her hands between his.

She hiccuped a few times, then said, "I'm in love with Jim." She closed her eyes tight.

"Halpert?" He sounded shocked.

She nodded.

Roy rolled onto his back and sighed. "How long?"

Pam was silent, too afraid to admit it.

"How long, Pam?" He sounded hurt, and annoyed.

"I don't know... years maybe. We kissed in May at the casino thing." her voice sounded flat, even to her own ears. She looked over at Roy, and he nodded. She thought she saw tears standing out in his eyes.

She was too emotionally exhausted to talk anymore, and thankfully Roy didn't ask her any more questions.

She laid there on her back with Roy a foot away from her, and everything was silent for what felt like an eternity. Pam started to sit up, was about to get up and gather her clothes to go home, when Roy reached out to encircle her arm with his fingers. "Pammy, just stay the night... I mean, I know... I know we're not-- anymore. And we don't have to do anything... But, stay?"

He sounded so sweet and sad, and he still felt enough like home to her that she let herself have one more weak moment and agreed. She wordlessly laid back down and scooted closer to him. They arranged themselves into an intimate spooning position, with him surrounding her, holding her tight, and their legs tangled up together, and they drifted off to sleep.

And in the morning, Roy did make her breakfast, and they did talk. But they talked about what had gone wrong with them, and why they just couldn't be anymore. And Pam apologized, and Roy urged Pam to fight for Jim if she loved him so much because he just wanted her to be happy. Her eyes welled up, and she hugged him, and when she left that day, she had a renewed sense of strength and confidence in her choices. She thought she'd give Jim a call that night.