It was cold in his truck. Pam rubbed the pink material of her jacket between her hands to warm them up. It felt odd to sit in the passenger seat after all these months of driving herself around.
Roy glanced over at her. "We can come get your car later."
Pam didn't respond. She felt she couldn't trust herself to open her mouth.
Roy drove them back to his house. When they got inside, Pam looked around the small living room that used to be theirs. She noticed the furniture had been rearranged, and he'd bought a big screen television. The room looked different, but it still smelled the same. Pam made no move to sit down.
"Would you like a drink?"
"No, thank you."
They stood in the middle of his living room. Neither one sure of what to do next. "You look beautiful tonight." Roy said.
The words were right, but the mouth was wrong. It didn't matter, though, because a second his mouth was on her. She hadn't even realized he was leaning in -- he was just there. Despite his new beard, his mouth felt familiar and she opened her own to let him inside. His arms wrapped around her waist. Her hands went to his hair.
She knew this was wrong, but she was so tired of being lonely. Tired of feeling sad. Roy pulled back from their kiss just long enough to say, "I've missed you", before he pulled her even closer to him.
They were in bed. She remembered the sheets. The pillow felt familiar. But this time, the room smelled different. Not like them. Just like him.
Her dress was on the floor and he kicked off his pants as he crawled on top of her. He kissed her neck and her breasts through her bra. It was Roy -- but different. Like as if he had promised himself he would do it right if he ever got the chance again. He would pay more attention. He was.
His body looked different. His waist was trim and his shoulders were broad. This wasn't the Roy she left crying on a Sunday afternoon. This Roy made her think of the handsome football player who wouldn't stop calling her even though he teased her about wearing turtle-necks. This Roy made her think of the afternoon in his bedroom when she let him inside of her for the first time. It made her think of when they moved into their first apartment. Roy had pushed her up on their new kitchen counter-top, he said he had seen it in a movie once and wanted to try it. She remembered how her cheeks burned when her Dad set his drink in the same place a week later. It made her think of the Poconos and weekends at the lake, and how he had cried in her arms when his grandmother died, and she knew she was the only person on the planet he trusted to see him like that.
Her bra was off now and his mouth was all over her nipples and stomach. It felt good. His beard tickled, but his tongue made up for it. She reached down and pushed her hands into his boxer shorts. She stroked him and he moaned.
Roy pushed his boxers off, pulled off her panties and settled back between her legs. "I've missed you so much." He rubbed himself against her.
"Roy?"
"Yeah?"
"I need you to use a condom."
"Yeah, sure. You're off the pill?"
"Yeah," she lied.
Roy leaned over, opened his nightstand drawer and took a condom out of an open box she knew they didn't have when they were together.
He set the condom on the bed and rolled onto his back. "Come here."
Pam crawled on top of him and kissed him. He ran his hands up and down her thighs.
Once he had the condom on she carefully guided him into her. It had been so long since she felt this. Her scalp tingled and her heart beat fast. Roy pulled her down and kissed her hard. "God, Pam. You feel so good."
She buried her face in his neck and let him move her on top of him. She remembered how much he loved it when she would kiss his neck. So she did.
Roy rubbed his hands over her ass and thighs and then brought them up to her face so he could kiss her. She never remembered him wanting to kiss so much during sex. It felt good.
"Sit up." Roy said through his kisses.
Pam pulled herself up on his lap and they both groaned at how it changed his angle inside of her. Roy moved his hand between them. Pam almost giggled to herself at the fact that it was much easier now that his stomach was smaller. But she was in no mood to laugh.
He knew her body. Years of practice had taught him exactly where to touch her. It was never that he didn't know, it was just that sometimes he didn't care. He cared now.
His thumb found the right side of her clit and gently made small circles. He stopped moving and just held himself deep inside of her. His other hand cupped her breast and played with her nipple. "I'm so sorry for everything, I've missed you so much."
Pam closed her eyes and just concentrated on what he was doing. Roy had always loved her breasts. She remembered how he would try and sneak and touch them when they would make out in his car when they were first dating. She remembered the look on his face and the way her cheeks felt hot when she'd finally let him see them. He was still the only man on the planet who had seen her naked. His thumb rubbed her a little harder and faster. She opened her eyes and looked at him. The look on his face broke her heart. He loved her. When he looked at her he saw someone he wanted to spend his life with. When she looked at him she only saw memories. He was safe. He was comfortable and predictable. He was the only other person on the planet who had ever seen her come. So she did.
As soon as her body stopped shaking, she felt tears sting her eyes. She squeezed them tight and hoped Roy would just think she was enjoying an aftershock. When she felt she could keep it together she opened her eyes and looked at him. He pulled her down and kissed her hard before flipping them over so Pam was on her back. She knew Roy needed relief. It had been so long since they had been together and he had been so considerate of her feelings tonight.
He pulled one of her legs up started moving fast. "I can't believe how good you feel." It only took a few more minutes before he finished. Pam held on to his back and kissed his shoulder while he came in her arms.
When they were done they took turns in the bathroom. Pam came back into Roy's bedroom to find him sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Will you stay here tonight? We can go get some breakfast in the morning and I will bring you to get your car."
Pam nodded. She pulled an old tee-shirt of his out of a drawer and put it on. Roy pulled his boxers back on and pulled her into his arms in bed.
It only took a few minutes for him to fall asleep. She laid there for hours listening to the sound of him softly snore while tears rolled down her cheeks.
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter End Notes:
The title of this story is actually the second lyric in "You were meant for me." by Jewel. I thought it was interesting that a lyric from "their" song could express so much with a totally different meaning than the song.
Willow is the author of 10 other stories.
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