Pam shut her phone and sat in the living room in silence. Her phone conversation with Jim didn’t seem to lighten her spirits about being an hour and a half away from him and missing him dearly. She knew that Jim had every right to be upset with her for being so secretive lately. Pam wasn’t exactly being talkative about her problems, which became clear to Pam as, their problems.

She’d seen him upset before but not like this. Either something was nagging at him or he was concerned. That was the only reason for his frustration and Pam knew it.

Her mother came in while Pam was in deep thought. Mrs. Beesly placed her mug on the table and pulled her robe tightly around her as she sat across from Pam. Pam smiled and shifted on the couch to make herself more comfortable.

“How’s Jim?” her mother asked, crossing her legs and pulling her robe down to her knees.

Pam placed her chin in her hands as she leaned against the arm of the couch. “Good, I guess.”

“You guess?” Mrs. Beesly inquired, grabbing her mug off the table.

“I think we just got into an argument,” Pam said, her face not registering any emotion whatsoever.

Mrs. Beesly slowly took a sip from her mug and nodded.

Pam then went on to explain. “Why do all the other women find it easy to tell their husbands that they might be pregnant? I just don’t understand,” Pam said, shaking her head.

Her mother smiled. “Why is it hard? I mean, you want a baby. Just tell him. He’s only going to be excited.”

Pam knew that. She knew that he was going to be thrilled at the prospect of having a child. Maybe that was the thing that scared her the most.

“I know, Ma.”

“Well?”

Pam sat in silence for a few more moments. She then spoke softly. “I remember when Scarlet was really little and one time she asked me and Neil this question about a crying girl she’d seen on television. She said something like, ‘Why is that girl crying? Did her dad die?’ and we both looked at each other and kind of grinned. We thought it was entertaining at the time because…she was like, three. I mean, how does a three year old understand death? Let alone specifically asking if it was the girl’s father?” Pam rhetorically asked, then pausing and looking up at her mom.

She continued as she looked down to where her fingers lightly lingered over the upholstery on the couch. “Instead of telling her what was happening with the girl, Neil asked her, ‘Where do people go when they die?’ and she so sweetly sat there and thought about it. It was like all the sudden she had aged ten years and was digging for the answer. You know what her answer was? She just blankly stared at us, then back at the girl on the television screen and asked, ‘Wal-mart?’” Pam finished, with a smile on her lips and quickly deflecting it as she looked down at her lap.

Mrs. Beesly chuckled with a grin. She then furrowed her brow at the sight of Pam’s demeanor. “Why did you just remember that?”

Pam looked up quickly. “That’s what I think of when I think of having another child.”

“You think of Scarlet asking if people go to Wal-mart when they die?” he mother said, slightly chuckling.

“No. That moment specifically. I mean, it was Neil and me, fielding questions about death to our little girl, who had no idea that one day, her own father would be gone. It just eats at me.”

“So, you’re afraid to tell Jim you might be pregnant because you’re afraid to lose him? Is that what it is?” Mrs. Beesly asked, leaning forward in her seat just a little bit.

Pam’s eyes welled up with tears and they lingered there briefly before spilling over onto her cheeks. Her mother moved over to where Pam sat and rested her arm over her shoulder and squeezed her tight. She spoke softly next to her ear. “Jim’s not like Neil. Or Roy. Or anyone else. You’ve had something tragic happen to you. You didn‘t have the best relationship, you lost a husband, raised a child by yourself, and now, you’re happily married and you‘re pregnant again. This isn’t going to be like last time Pam,” her mother said, as Pam’s sobs filled the living room.

“I keep telling myself that if I hadn’t got married again, I wouldn’t be worrying about this,” she said, trying to suppress her sobs.

“You don’t need to worry about this. You’ll be fine. Jim’s fine and so is Scarlet. Worry just weighs you down three times more than your body. Don’t let this ruin this happy moment,” her mother stated, rubbing Pam’s back gently.

Pam wiped her face. She then pulled her mother into a hug and sighed. Before they broke their embrace, her mother whispered into her ear, “Find a way to tell him. Now.”

Pam smiled and nodded as her mother picked up her mug and walked out of the living room and up the stairs to her room.

----

Jim finally broke his trance with the ceiling, showered and got ready for bed. It was early but today had rendered him an exhausted mess and he was more than happy to put himself to bed before ten. He flicked on the television and mindlessly watched an interesting Unsolved Mysteries. Soon, his eyes became heavy and he quickly fell into a deep sleep.

He had been sleeping almost an hour when he heard a noise that jostled him out of his slumber. Jim didn’t budge, hoping that it was just his imagination or that it was the people in the room next door. As he shut his eyes again, he heard the noise again, at his hotel room door.

He remembered the last time her got up in the middle of the night to check on a suspicious noise. They had just got in from their honeymoon and when he ventured to find the noisemaker, he was sprayed by a black and white foe.

He tipped toed to the door in his boxers and prayed silently that he wouldn’t have to leave his room for any reason. He wasn’t dressed for the adventure. As he squinted into the peep hole, he found Pam, peering in the other side. He quickly grabbed the door handle and pulled it open.

She smiled out the side of her mouth as he inched the door open slightly. He peeked his head around the corner and grinned back.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice heavy with sleep.

Pam shrugged. “I missed you.”

He smiled again and pulled the door open for her to come in. Pam pecked him on the lips as she came through the threshold and passed him. Jim turned as he shut the door and walked back over to where he was resting before.

“How was your meetings?” she asked, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. He sat down next to her with a yawn. “Good,” he replied, stretching.

Pam quietly stated, “Good,” as she fiddled with her wedding ring on her finger.

Jim looked at her and shook his head. “No, really. What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at your mothers. With Scarlet,” he said.

“I just…I didn’t like the way we ended our conversation and you’re right, I haven’t been fair to you the past few days. If I’m smart, I’ll tell you what’s been going on with me…”

Jim didn’t respond. He just sat there, intently looking on as she tried to find the words. He noticed that she struggled with whatever she was trying to say. Instead of saying anything, she reached over, pulled his face to hers and kissed him. Although he was shocked and slightly confused, he went with it. He couldn’t refuse a kiss from Pam. It was his weakness.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to his side. Finally, she released his face with her hands and sighed.

“First off, you have no idea how bad I’ve wanted to just sit and talk with you. It seems like all our time is used for other things these days…”

Jim nodded, taking her hand in his and blinking heavily to keep his eyes open. Before Pam could fully explain Jim decided he needed to fill her in on why his mind was else where.

“I feel the same way,” he said. “I need to tell you about a few things too,” he said, as Pam’s smiled.

“Okay, well…go,” she said, turning to face him all the way.

Jim smiled. “Hey, that’s not fair. You came here wanting to talk to me….so, spill.”

Pam shook her head. “Trust me, you’ll wish you waited for what I’ve got to tell you. You go first.”

Jim crossed his arms over his chest. “Are we going to do this all night, Pam? I have meetings to go to in the morning. Make it snappy.”

“Let’s do it at the same time then,” Pam suggested.

Jim shot her a look of confusion. “What?”

“You know, let’s both blurt out what we’ve got to say at the same time so it will be fair.”

Jim shifted on the bed and sighed. “What are we, twelve?”

“Come on,” she insisted, placing a hand on his exposed knee.

He sighed again. “Okay.”

“Count down,” she said with a smile.

They both counted down from three. “Three. Two. One.”

Then, at the same time, both Jim and Pam said what they’ve been dealing with and bottling up inside.

Once each other words echoed in the others ears, they both shot each other looks and gasps. Pam’s mouth was opened wide and Jim had cocked his head back with his eyebrows hitting the ceiling.

“They offered you a position?” Pam asked, looking intently at Jim, who seemed to be having a hard time breathing. His face was red and his mouth was cracked open just a smidgen.

Jim didn’t know how to respond. He was shocked. He was scared. He was happy. He was feeling everything a person could feel at the moment that they find out they’re going to have a baby. He was feeling it, all right. He felt himself become light headed, so he stood and placed his hands on his hips as he walked toward the sink near the bathroom.

When he glanced in the mirror at his bright red face, he caught a glimpse of Pam sitting on the bed behind him. He hadn’t responded yet to her announcement and he could see on her face she was concerned about the news. He took a deep breath and turned around, walked towards her and snatched her up in his arms.

His lips found hers and she gasped at his touch. His arms pulled her closer to his bare chest and he soon came back to reality. Jim could feel Pam’s hand resting over his heart and he just knew that she could feel it about to pound out of his chest.

Once they broke their kiss to get some air, Jim took Pam’s face in his hands. “That’s what you’ve wanted to tell me? Why didn’t you tell me the second you found out, Pam?” he asked, a smile playing on his lips.

Pam backed away slightly and sighed. “It’s not for sure. I haven’t been to the doctor yet,” she said. He pulled her back towards him and kissed her again.

“But, you think you might be?” he asked, with excitement in his voice.

Pam nodded. “That’s why I’ve been acting weird. I wanted to tell you but I didn’t want it to be a false alarm and disappoint you,” she said, biting on her lip.

Jim stood there, holding Pam’s hands between the two of them and just beamed. He didn’t know what else to say. He opened his mouth to speak but no words formed. He knew he did it more than once and quickly shut his mouth when he realized it. He couldn’t even think of things to say at this point. Pam smiled as she watched him ponder their future in his head.

All he could do was kiss her. She accepted every kiss and he could feel her smiling against his lips. She slightly pushed her hands against his chest and chuckled.

“Okay, now. You don’t have to maul me,” she said, pushing her hair behind her ear and sitting down on the bed. “Possible baby on board here, Jim,” she said, laughing.

Jims held his hands out. “I can’t believe you didn’t want to tell me,” he said, sitting down beside Pam again.

“I was just…” she started, looking up into his fierce green eyes starting back at her. “…scared.”

“What? Why?”

“A baby is a big deal. We’ve only been married for like, six months. I didn’t expect it to happen so soon,” she said, laughing slightly to ease the tension.

Jim shook his head. “I can’t believe it.”

“I know,” Pam said, smiling and looking up at him.

“So, you’re excited?” he asked, reaching for her hand again.

Pam moved closer to him. “Yes,” she said, leaning in to kiss him.

“Congratulations,” Jim said, with Pam a mere two inches away from his face. She smiled and sighed, “You too,” and then placed her lips on his.

As they sat there on the edge of the hotel bed, Pam’s purse began to ring. Rather, her phone rang in her purse. She pushed away from Jim’s tender lips. She smiled as she reached over and grabbed her purse from the table. Jim’s hand still clutched Pam’s free hand as she dug through her purse. She managed to find the phone and answer it before it stopped ringing.

“Mom?” Pam asked, concern filling her voice. Jim furrowed his brow and looked on. He mouthed ‘what?’ to Pam before leaning in and placing kisses down her cheek, neck and exposed collar bone.

“Pam, we have a situation here,” her mother said, groggily.

Jim had his face nuzzled in Pam’s neck as she sucked in a breath. “What’s wrong?” she asked, trying to escape Jim’s distracting game.

Her mother sighed and then a loud cry came over the phone. Pam clicked the cell into speakerphone mode for Jim to hear Scarlet’s sobs. He quickly retracted his mouth away from that perfect spot on Pam’s flushed neck.

They heard Pam’s mother try and coax Scarlet to be quiet but didn’t succeed. “She had a bad dream.”

“Oh,” Jim said, taking in a deep breath and looking sadly at Pam. “What can we do from here?”

Pam shook her head and then put her mouth close to the phone. “Mom, put Scarlet on. Tell her it’s us.”

Mrs. Beesly could be heard in the background prepping Scarlet for the call. “It’s your mom and dad. They want to talk to you, babe.” Then there was a rustling and Scarlet’s hiccupping cries could be heard loud and clear.

Pam tried to hush Scarlet. “Scar…please calm down. You’re okay. Nana and Papa are there with you and you’re fine. Okay..”

When Scarlet didn’t stop blubbering, Jim took the phone from Pam’s hands and spoke softly. “Scarlet. Hey, listen, it’s me. What’s the problem?”

“I had a bad dream. The dinosaur was coming after me and it was dark. I ran and ran and it still followed me,” she cried, only breaking Jim and Pam’s hearts more.

Jim looked over at Pam. Pam was obviously upset that she wasn’t there to comfort her. “Babe, can you think of good things?”

“Like what?” she asked, hiccupping again.

Pam smiled as Jim was hunched over resting his elbows on his knees. He held the phone close to his lips. “Like…your toys. Or your kitty, Allie. Or….” Jim started, then looking to Pam for another idea.

“Playing in the backyard…” Pam chimed in.

“Yeah. Can you find some happy thoughts?” Jim asked, hoping to calm his child over the phone.

“I think. Nana says I can sleep with her,” she said, already sounding relaxed.

“Good,” Pam said. “Then, tell Nana to take you back to bed. Make sure you snuggle with her and Papa.”

“I will,” she said to Jim and Pam. Then they heard her tell Mrs. Beesly to take her to bed. “Mom says to take me to bed, Nana!” she hollered as the line sounded cloudy and Mrs. Beesly picked up.

“Thank you!” her mother said in a sing song voice.

Pam smiled and rolled her eyes. “Sorry ‘bout that. I’ll see you in the morning, Mom!”

“No problem. Have a nice evening you two…” she replied before clicking the phone shut.

Pam snapped her phone shut and tossed it back into her purse. She turned to face Jim, who already had his hand wandering over her back.

“Now…where were we?” he asked, dipping his head low to find that spot under her jaw again.