Disclaimer:  I don't own these characters, just write about them.  Sigh.  No copyright infrigement intended, don't sue me!   

Monday morning came too soon for Pam.  She spent the entire weekend watching old movies, taking long showers, and painting.  At least one good thing came out of her altercation with Roy:  she was painting again, and this time with real emotion.  The piece she was working on was full of bold colors and dramatic strokes, symbolizing to her the intense fear, pain and anger she felt towards Roy.  Normally, she hid herself in her art, drawing cautious little drawings of inanimate objects, but this piece was anything but safe.  She couldn’t wait to show it to her art teacher; she knew he would be so proud of her improvement.

As she got dressed for the workday she took her time.  She carefully picked out an outfit and did a good job on her make-up.  Unlike so many other times, she wasn’t trying to look pretty for Jim.  She just wasn’t in a hurry to get to the office. She really didn’t want to face everyone today.  They all saw her altercation with Roy.  Everyone stared at her like she was so pathetic for being with him, like they felt sorry for her.  They all looked horrified by Roy’s violent actions, and she felt humiliated - like she had some responsibility for him.  She knew she wasn’t responsible, but it felt that way.  She blew out her hair, and put on a soft pink turtleneck sweater and a black skirt.  She ran through her shoe options.  Flats, of course, heels, uncomfortable.  Knee high black boots Kelly made her buy? 

“Those are perfect for how I’m feeling.”  Pam said quietly to herself. 

She put on the boots feeling braver just because of the way they felt on her feet.  She gave herself and once over in the mirror.

“At least I don’t look like a pathetic loser with a psychotic ex.”

She smiled sadly as she tears welled up.  She was silently grateful that she used waterproof mascara.  Once she had no other excuse, she got in her car and started making her way to work. 

Her cell phone rang on the way there.  She saw the caller id and her heart sank.  It was Roy.

She was still exhausted and emotionally drained, but she didn’t want to hide from him anymore.  She was better than that now.  She sighed as she answered it, “Hello?”

“Hello Pam.”  Roy was still angry.  She could tell because of the chill in his tone and because he rarely called her Pam unless he was really mad. 

“You left your wrap thing at my house after the wedding.  I’m going to bring it up to the office along with a few other things I found.  I don’t want any of your things in my house anymore.”

“That’s fine with me Roy.”  She surprised herself with the firmness in her voice.  “I’ll meet you in the parking lot at lunch.”

“Scared of me coming in the office are you?  Scared I’ll run into your little boyfriend Halpert?”

He was baiting her on purpose, trying to provoke a fight.  Truthfully, she was terrified he would do something to Jim, so she responded cautiously trying not excite him any further. 

“Jim’s not my boyfriend.  He’s dating someone else. I just don’t want you making a scene.” 

“I’ll bring your stuff to you wherever or whenever I want to, Pam.”

She took a deep breath and decided to try once more to explain herself to Roy.  She didn’t want to be with him anymore, but she just wanted him to understand.  “Roy, I loved you a lot of my life, and you’re a great guy, but we clearly aren’t meant for each other.  It doesn’t have to end this way.  We can still be friends.”

 “How can you say that Pam?  What does that even mean, we’re not meant for each other?  You know that I told all the guys that we got back together!  What do I tell them now, that I was wrong?  That we’re just friends now?  That you’re in love with Jim Halpert and the whole thing was going right on under my nose?  They kept telling me to watch him and I didn’t because I trusted you, but obviously I was wrong.  Do you know how humiliated I am?  Again?”  Roy bellowed into the phone and Pam had to pull over.

“I know, I’m sorry I really am.  I should have told you this summer.  I’ve handled this whole thing so badly.  But it wasn’t about him Roy, it was about us!”

Pam hated that she couldn’t stop the quivering in her voice and she was glad he couldn’t see the tears running down her cheeks.  She took a deep breath and kept talking.

“I’d been unhappy for a long time Roy, it didn’t just start last spring.  I’m tired of being the person everyone wants me to be.  It’s time I started being the person I want to be.”

“Well that’s just great Pam!  Great.  You go on drawing pathetic pictures of staplers and answering phones for your little boyfriend and his stupid friends.  When did you turn into this person, Pam? Frankly, I’m not sure I like what you’ve become!”

“Fine.  Lucky for you, you’ll never have to see me again.”  She said flatly and she hung up the phone. 

She pulled back out into traffic as the phone started to ring again.  It was him again, he clearly intended to drive her insane.  She couldn’t talk to him anymore, what was left to say?  She was still fighting back tears and her heart started beating in her throat.  She would not allow him to continue to dominate her life and she  felt like she needed to do something drastic.  She rolled down her window and threw her cell phone out into traffic.  She looked in her rearview as the car behind her run over her little pink phone and she laughed a little through her tears.

“I can’t believe just did that.”  She said to herself. “I think I’ve lost my mind.  Maybe it’s the boots.”