How many times has she told herself that this is absolutely ridiculous? How many more times will she have to tell herself before it starts to sink in—finally—and she can go back to her normal, solid, stable life—finally?

            But he’s standing next to her in the elevator, and he’s smiling a little in that way that makes her think of the shy boy in high school that she always wished she had made out with, just once, just to see what it would be like. And when he says her name, it sounds like her first boyfriend, who would call her house and ask for her politely, even if she was the one who had answered the phone. “Jan,” he would say. “May I please speak to Jan?”

            And so even though part of her brain is screaming constantly, telling her that this is ridiculous and it’s not helping her move on and it’s certainly not going to go anywhere, telling her that she’s stupid for even trying and she should just end it already, she reaches out her hand and touches his arm.

            “Would you like to have dinner at my place?” he asks, and she feels compelled to answer him quickly. He has a habit of switching from normal to stupid in the blink of an eye.

            “I can’t,” she says, which is true. And her brain screams, Dump the guy already. “I can’t.”