Larissa tied off another balloon, watching it float to the ceiling. There were several dozen floating there already. It was Stephen’s birthday, the big five-oh, and so, Larissa knew the only answer was to embarrass him horribly. She had reserved a private room at Cooper’s for the occasion.

Glancing at her watch, she realized she only had about forty-five minutes before people would start showing up. She pulled out the banner she’d had made earlier this week, stepping gingerly onto a chair to hang it. Her foot slipped slightly, causing her to topple off the chair.

“Whoa!” Strong hands grabbed her around the waist. Startled, she turned to see her son’s face staring down at her, his own eyes mirroring her shock. “Getting ready for the table dancing later, mom?”

She turned ungracefully in his arms and returned his embrace, allowing her heartbeat to slow. “Jim! You’re early!” He chuckled, stepping away from her. She watched as he rubbed a hand across the back of his neck, wincing. “Neck ache?” She asked.

“Um, I’ve just got a headache.”

“Did you take something?” She asked, putting on her patented worry face.

He smiled wearily, answering, “yeah”.

“Did you overdo it at that wedding last night?” Larissa questioned, using his shoulder to steady herself as she climbed back atop the chair.

Last week, he had mentioned in passing his invitation to the wedding of an older woman with whom he worked, seeming strangely excited about it. Not wanting to dig too deep into her son’s privacy, Larissa hadn’t asked why he was so looking forward it.

“No, mom. I swear, I’m not Jose Cuervo’s bitch.” She made a valiant effort not to give into the smile that was tugging at her lips.

“James!” She admonished, turning momentarily to glare down at him. “So, how was it?”

“It was…fine.” The pause he put in the sentence didn’t pass her notice. She looked at Jim, raising an eyebrow questioningly. “I mean, Michael tried to make the whole thing about him, and Meredith starting stripping and Kelly was in hyper-squeal mode, so…it was horrifying, just like I’m guessing you thought it would be. But Kevin’s band played, and Karen got up to sing a few songs, so…” Jim examined his shoes for several moments. He coughed, kicking at a black scuffmark on the polished dance floor. “Pam got back together with Roy.”

This news didn’t surprise her as much as it probably had him. Larissa had suspected for some time that if her son didn’t straighten everything out with this woman, it was likely she would start re-thinking breaking off her wedding. She watched Jim carefully, but he was purposely keeping his face as neutral as possible, not making eye contact with her. She let his words hang in the air for almost a full minute without responding. Finally, she spoke, lowering her voice. “Are you okay?”

Jim’s face went through seventeen different emotions, finally settling on disinterest. He shrugged, and then glanced up. “Hey, it looks good,” he said, pointing to the banner.

“That was a nice change of subject there,” Larissa shot back, hopping back off the chair she’d been standing on.

“Mom,” he said, closing his eyes for a moment. The naked pain that overtook his features took her aback.

“Here,” she stated, marching over to a nearby table. “You can help me put party favors on the tables.” He dutifully followed her, taking in the fifty-some snow globes with his father’s face in them. Chuckling, he grabbed a handful and started depositing them on tables. They worked in silence for several minutes, Larissa knowing she wouldn’t be able to get another word out of her middle child.

"So, do you think he's gonna like it, my boy?"

"No," he answered, nodding his head. She chuckled, letting the feeling of happiness her children infused her with wash over her.

“It’s just-“ he said suddenly, gaining her attention. Clamming up again, he thumped down another shakable embarrassment to his role model. Jim slid into a chair, slouching his shoulders as he leaned on the table in front of him. “There was this moment,” he continued, sighing. Silently, his mother took a seat opposite him. “When I was dancing with…with Karen.” He mindlessly shook a snow globe. “Pam…looked at me.” He finally made eye contact with Larissa and she felt tears prick her eyes. “She’s never looked at me that way before.”

“Yes, she has.” Larissa answered instinctively. “You’ve just never seen her.”

He stared at her for a long moment. There was almost a defiance in his expression, an unwillingness to listen, believe. “If that were true…” he stated softly.

“Hello?”

They both looked up to see Steve’s sister, Lily accompanying her mother into the room. Larissa rose to hug them both, Jim fast on her heels.

“Hey, grandma.” He greeted the eldest woman, stooping to hug her.

“Good grief. Are you still getting taller?” She asked him, patting his forearm.

“No,” he said, shaking his head with a false sadness. “You’re shrinking, I’m afraid.”

They stood at the entrance for the next half an hour, greeting everyone who came through the door. Larissa kept looking over at her son, chatting amiably with people she was sure he didn’t know. She wondered how someone could be so resilient, but soon realized it was only the appearance of resiliency. His smile would waver, his eyes darken.

Lily called Stephen, letting him know she was in town, and would he want to meet for dinner? The trap set, everyone started milling around, the generally excited chatter causing a buzz. Larissa stepped over to the brightly decorated food table, where several members of the wait staff were putting the buffet out. For some reason, there were tiny butterflies in her stomach. Large hands landed on her shoulders and she craned her neck around to look at her son, who was grinning at the spread in front of him.

“Whoa, you really went all out.”

“Yeah, well I’m sticking your father with the bill, so…” She hugged Jim, resting her head against his firm chest. “Quite a turn-out, huh?” She asked, turning toward the crowd.

“Yes. I didn’t realize you guys knew this many people,” he volleyed.

“I’m not sure they’re all in the right place, actually.” Larissa walked over to the bar, Jim following. “There’s a bar mitzvah next door, I think some of them are crashing.” He chuckled, grabbing the beer the bartender was holding out to him. They stood in silence for a few moments.

“I think I’ve been spoiled,” Jim said suddenly.

“I don’t know what impression you’re under,” Mrs. Halpert answered, “but you’re not even our favorite child, so I doubt it.” He smiled, but stayed still.

“You and dad,” he tried again. “You guys love each other so much.” Larissa blushed, ducking her head a little. “I just…I guess I just wish I’d known that that’s an exception and not a rule.”

She stared at her son, surprised. When she opened her mouth to answer, a commotion broke out near the door. Stephen had arrived. She and Jim approached her husband, as he shook his head incredulously, a thousand watt smile on his face. After kissing Larissa, Stephen embraced his son warmly.

Jim would be fine. He would go through work, go through life with that fake smile on his face. He would spend his time trying to please his girlfriend, his boss. In time, he would forget what love felt like.

And if terrified Larissa.

******