Pam ran out of the bar in shock. She could still hear the sounds of glass breaking. She knew Roy pretty well so how could she not have predicted that he would have gotten so angry? She felt so stupid. Here she was trying to be honest for once, like Jim was with Karen, and it had totally backfired on her.
She remebered the one time Roy caught Jim holding her hand while they were laughing about the time Dwight had asked Jim to form an alliance with him. Roy had rushed over and started yelling at Jim, asking him if he was "trying to cop a feel". The whole office had been looking at Jim and she finally knew how he felt to have everyone looking at him while Roy was screaming. She hated it.
By the time she had gotten home, the shock of the incident had worn off and Pam was just tired. Tired of Roy, tired of Jim and, most of all, tired of herself. She noticed a blinking light on her answering machine. She pressed the play button and Kelly's screeching voice filled her apartment.
"OH MY GOD!!! PAM, ARE YOU OK?!!! That was soooooooo scary when Roy totally started, like, flipping out!! Ryan and I totally left after that! You must be SOOO upset! I mean, finding out your boyfriend is a total psycho has got to be, like, sooo wierd. AND OH MY GOD!!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU AND JIM KISSED?!!! You guys would make the cutest couple. I-"
Pam turned the machine off, not wanting to listen to Kelly right now or ever again. She had the biggest headache she had had in a while, caused by both the stress of Roy and Jim and by Kelly's shrill voice.
She flopped down onto the couch, laying down with an arm flung over her eyes. She started to feel hot tears trickle down the sides of her head.
When had her life become so fucked up? Oh yeah, around the time when Jim had decided to make his confession of love for her and leave her. But rationally she knew she couldn't blame Jim which made it worse. SHE was the reason why Jim had left Scarnton and SHE was the one who had left Roy and SHE was the one who couldn't get over her fucking feelings for Jim and SHE was the one who decided that since she couldn't have Jim, she'd go back to the familiar love life she used to have before all this shit had happened. Honestly, did she really think that things could go back to the way they were by going back to Roy? She knew she didn't love him like she used to but she needed to get over Jim. Like he had so easily gotten over her, She had broken his heart and now she knew what it felt like. She deserved it.
The tears rolled faster now. She got up and headed towards the liquor cabinet. She breifly considered inviting Meridith over which had actually made her even more depressed. She realized she didn't have any real friends anymore. She didn't have ANYBODY.
She was sobbing as she pulled out the vodka. She looked at it for a moment before she unscrewed the top and started chugging, letting the alchol burn it's way down her throat.
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Chapter Notes:
My first fic. Please leave your constructive compliments in the form of a review.
