After two wrong turns (each taking them over an hour out of the way) due to Michael’s poorly MapQuested directions, they arrive at their destination in New Jersey.

In her fantasies, Pam had imagined her first cruise to feel like stepping onto the deck of the Titanic, or some other grandiose adventure, but now that she stands on the dock it seems more like Lake Wallenpaupack Redux.

The ship is about half the size of those big ocean liners she has seen in the commercials and looks to be about twice as old.

“Check this out!” Michael stares in awe of his accomplishment, letting his hand-held camcorder roam the length of the ship.

“Are you going to tell us where this ship is going?” Stanley asks dryly.

“Oh right, yeah, we’re going to Baltimore,” Michael answers without taking his eyes off of the ship.

“Baltimore? As in, Maryland?” Karen asks.

“Yes! Baltimore is in Maryland. You’re really doing great with this new area of the country, Karen,” Michael answers proudly.

“Fantastic,” Jim sighs as Jan’s car pulls into the parking lot.

Ryan is standing a few feet away from the group, talking into his cell phone.

“Yeah, no, they said our cell phones won’t work on the ship. Nope. No, no phone lines. Yes, I’ll call as soon as we get there. Yep. Okay. Alright. Yes, Kelly, for God’s sake. Okay, seriously, I have to go. Yes, I know. Fine, bye. I said bye. Kelly? Seriously, stop. Okay I’m hanging up. Bye. Yes I’ll call you. Sunday. Yes I get it. Okay, bye, for real. Kelly. Okay, I’ve got to go. Yeah, talk to you soon, bye.”

He clicked his phone shut abruptly, running a hand through his hair.

“Our cell phones won’t work on the ship?” she asks when he rejoins them.

“I have no idea,” he sighs wearily and clicks the power button on his phone.

As the group makes their way onto the ship, Pam can’t help but wish that she hadn’t come along. She watches Jim carry both his and Karen’s bags without having to be asked and something in her stomach twists.

Fortunately, she is at least given her own room (although the room is about the size of a matchbox) that is flanked by Bob Vance and Phyllis’s as well as Stanley and Terry’s. She is grateful that Michael and Jim are well down the hall.

It only takes her about two minutes to unpack her things and she still has a few hours until dinner so she grabs her sketchpad and finds her way onto the pool deck, watching as land fades into ocean.

“Why do I have a feeling that this is going to be the most boring weekend ever?” Ryan sighs, taking up the lounge chair next to her.

“Probably because it will be,” she answers. “Although, with Michael…”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he laughs. “I guess I should be hoping for boring, huh? It’s better than the alternative.”

“Totally,” she smiles. “At least it’s warm.”

“Agreed,” he yawns, stretching his arms above his head.

“So… no offense, but why are you being so…” Not an asshole? Approachable? Less of a stick in the mud? “..nice?”

“Am I usually not nice?” he asks.

“Well,” She considers lying because she probably should. “Yes, actually.”

“Oh,” he says softly and she worries that maybe the truth hurt his feelings. “I guess its just that being in that office does weird things to me.”

“Well, I can accept that I guess,” she smiles at him and he seems relieved.

“Hey guys,” Karen says cheerily. She has warmed up to Pam considerably ever since Jim had stopped acknowledging her existence. “Is it just me, or is there hardly anyone on this cruise?”

“It’s not just you, I’ve only seen a handful of people so far,” Pam says.

“Yeah, well, I can’t see why it’s not packed,” Ryan says facetiously. “I mean, it’s April and we’re traveling from New Jersey to exotic Baltimore.”

Pam giggles as Jim walks up beside Karen. “Yeah, who wouldn’t want to take a dip in the Baltimore Harbor?”

“I hear you have to get about nine shots if you fall into that water,” Ryan laughs. “Seriously, it’s going to be paradise.”

“You guys want to join us for a swim?” Karen asks as Jim stands silently next to her.

“Isn’t it a little… cold?” Pam asks.

“We thought we’d give it a try,” Karen shrugs. “There’s always the hot tub.”

Without warning an ear-splitting cry cuts through the air.

“CANNONBAAAAAALLL!!!!”

Michael leaps into the pool, his extremities tucked tightly against his body. Jan stands on the pool deck, ducking from the spray of water.

“Holy crap!” Michael cries out once he surfaces. “It’s f-freezing in here! Jan, jump in! Polar bear swim!”

“Well I guess that answers that question,” Ryan laughs, watching Michael attempt to swim breaststroke from one end of the pool to the other. The result looks more like a drowning frog than anything else.

“Hot tub?” Karen offers and she and Jim head off in that direction.

“I’m game if you are,” Ryan says to Pam, shrugging.

“Um, I don’t know…” she stammers, letting her eyes linger as Karen peels off her outer shell of clothing, revealing what looks to Pam to be a perfectly sculpted body clad in a black stringy bikini.

“Come on,” Ryan stands and extends his hand to her. “The way I see it we should stick together this weekend to avoid going insane.”

She laughs and takes his hand as he helps her to her feet. “Alright, I guess when you put it that way…”

Pam tries pretending that Jim’s eyes aren’t on her as she pulls her t-shirt ever-so-clumsily over her head. She has never felt so exposed in her life. Fortunately, she isn’t the only one undressing and it becomes easier to focus on Ryan than on her own embarrassment.

Considering his small frame, she is a little surprised at how broad Ryan’s shoulders actually are. He also has much less chest hair than Jim (not that she had been looking), just a smattering of black hair that forms a trail down his abdomen.

Pam snaps back into focus before she lets her eyes wander any further downward. Luckily the distraction has kept her busy long enough that she has shed all of her excess clothing and can now dip into the steaming water in front of her.

“I love your bathing suit,” Karen tells her as she settles into the water.

“Oh, thanks, I really like yours too,” she answers, because she really does. Hers is a two-piece as well, but she could never be quite brave enough to go for the ones that are basically just two triangles and a whole lot of string.

“Okay, okay, who likes Piña Coladas?” Michael bounds over to them, toting an armful of plastic glasses complete with colorful, curling straws. “And getting caught in the rain?”

He hands out the drinks and slides into the water, splashing Pam in the process and wincing at the heat. Michael beckons for Jan to join him, but she declines, spreading out her towel on a lounge chair to bask in the waning sun.

She wishes that she were sitting beside Jan and not this close to Michael, who looks like he has a bear rug stitched onto his chest (something she really didn’t need to know, ever). Pam scoots closer to Ryan as Michael stretches his arms and legs out (“We’re here to relax, people!”) and ends up practically pressed against his side.

“So, how much did Kelly freak out about you going on this trip without her?” Jim asks Ryan, as if to remind him about his girlfriend.

“Oh, yeah, she pretty much kept me up all last night complaining about it. It’s actually a good thing for me that we got hardly any notice or I might not have slept for a week,” he sighs, leaning his head back against the pool deck.

“Hey Michael, why does it seem like there is no one on this cruise?” Pam tries to change the subject.

“Well, actually, this cruise doesn’t just sail to Baltimore,” Michael begins.

“Shocking,” Ryan says.

“Actually, Baltimore is like the first stop and the actual cruise goes from there to the Caribbean. Plus,” he lowers his voice and leans towards Pam, causing her to recoil and press even more into Ryan. “This cruise line has had some bad press lately… a few too many…” Michael runs his finger across his throat, making a gagging sound. “A lot of… disappearances.”

“Oh great,” Pam sighs. “I’m so glad that I have my own room all by myself then.”

“Do you want me to put Dwight in your room for protection?” Michael offers earnestly.

“No, no, that’s really okay,” she answers quickly as Ryan stifles a laugh beside her.

“Where is Dwight anyway?” Jim speaks up as he slides his arm around Karen.

“I don’t know,” Michael shrugs. “I saw him check in. He wanted to take his own car for some stupid reason.”

“Maybe he brought someone,” Pam grins impishly. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Ryan snap his head towards her. She meets his narrowed eyes that seems to be asking her something and it dawns on her that maybe Dwight’s office secret isn’t so secret after all.

“Oh please,” Michael guffaws. “Dwight? He totally has to pay for sex. He’s not getting it on the regular like me.”

“On the regular?” Karen chuckles.

“Yeah, haven’t you ever listened to a Justin Timberlake song? Seriously, what do they listen to up in Connecticut anyway?”

“Mostly show tunes,” Pam nods gravely. “And, you know, soft rock.”

“Yeah, we’re a couple years behind up there,” Karen shrugs, playing along. “I’ve never even heard of that Timber guy.”

“Yeah, Paul Anka is basically the Justin Timberlake of Connecticut,” Ryan adds as Karen and Pam hide their smiles with their drinks.

“Ugh, Paul Anka? Yuck,” Michael says, finishing off his beverage. “Alright, refill time.”

Pam finally releases her laughter once Michael is at a safe distance, triggering Karen and Ryan to do the same.

“What’s with you?” Karen asks Jim, who doesn’t seem quite so amused.

“Nothing,” he says coolly, pulling her closer to him. Pam realizes that she still hasn’t moved from Ryan’s side.