“Question: Am I a wicked person? I wonder that so much about myself lately because of the dirty and despicable things I’ve been doing. I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror some days.”
“Lord, I know that we’ve talked about the, um, acts that Dwight and I engage in and I’ve learned to be okay with my choices there. Your guidance has really helped me put that issue behind me. It’s just that now, I can’t handle how much lying I’ve had to do lately. As you know, Lord, I value honesty a great deal. It’s one of the qualities that attracted me to Dwight in the first place. It just seems that lately, all I’ve been doing is lying. I lie to protect our secret and I, um, I lie to Dwight to protect his feelings.
“Last week, Dwight gave me a green sweater for my birthday. And Lord, as I’m sure you know, only whores wear green. I am not…a whore.”
[Angela…the green thing…that is just you, you know. I don’t have a problem with it. I kind of created green.]
“I told Dwight that I loved the sweater. I lied to him. He just looked so eager and pleased with himself. I couldn’t bear to be harsh with him. Can’t you see how I’m agonizing about lying to him?”
I did think it was exceptionally soft, though. It felt like a newborn kitten.
[There you go….that’s better…are you sure you were lying when you told him you loved it?]“
And then there was the….Phyllis…incident. “
The other day in the kitchen, she got this smarmy smile on her face and asked me all sugar-sweetly if I liked beets. I said no. She was trying to trick me into admitting my feelings for Dwight. At least Pam figured out what she was up to and deflected the comment by talking about a beet incident in the cafeteria in her grade school. Oh, and God, while I have you here, I do want to sincerely repent for what I’ve said and thought about Pam in the past. “
“She’s turned out to be a good friend. She values honesty and she is capable of keeping secrets. Maybe you could see if you could do something, um, nice for her if you know what I mean”
“Anyway back to Phyllis and the beets. I told her that I didn’t like beets”
“I know that I detest the taste of beets, but that just reminded me of how I’ve lied to Dwight. Does he really believe that I have an allergy to red foods? What will I do when he presents me with a plate of golden beets? Do you see the very tangled web I’ve woven?”
“I just don’t know what to do.”
“I feel you, Lord. Maybe this doesn’t have to be so hard. Maybe I can start being more honest with the people around me. Dwight is an amazing man, isn’t he?
“Thanks for the talk, God."
[Always a pleasure, my child]
"And....Fact: I'm going to wear the green sweater tomorrow."
