(Jan… what’s cookie?)

“Michael what are you talking about?”

Michael rolls his eyes, “Jan, Jan, Jan, I was just trying to find the email Dwight sent me-”

“Michael, stop this isn’t-”

“Seriously though-what is it?”

“What are you talking about?” She rubs the back of his chair until her hand burns, resisting the urge to rub her forehead (he can sense exasperation)

“Look it’s right there in black and white, ‘east stairwell for cookie’… Are we getting a cookie store because I thought you didn’t like that idea.”

She let her head roll back a bit and restrained a sigh, “I don’t know what you mean- and how are you reading Dwight’s private emails?”

“It’s legal just help me figure this out okay?” He grins a little and she knows she’ll do it no matter what her conscience may have to say on the matter.

“Fine, what exactly does it say?”

“You are an amazing woman, Jan…”

She noticed he was starting to get that smile again but pushed down the excitement rising in her throat.

“Well??”

“What? Oh right… let me see. Dwight Schrute to Angela Kinsey Expense report blah blah blah, quarterly report booooooring-ah ha here we go! East stairwell for cookie, just like I said”

“Why is this bothering you?”

“Jan, this is my family. If there is something wrong it is my job to know everything about it and fix the problem,”

“Not officially,”

“Alright, so are you going to help me?”

“No.”

“Aww Jan, come on! I promise it’ll be fun,”

She pursed her lips and tried to repress the thought of Michael playing spies, especially on Dwight. She shook her head quickly.

“Michael, it’s very important that you get some of this stuff done today, I really don’t think you should be interrupting someone’s um cookie”

“Chillax, Jan! Know what? I’ll go and you can hold down the fort-make sure nobody knows what I’m up to. You’ll be my Bond woman.”

“But Mi-”

“Nope, it’s Bond… James Bond and I’m on a mission.”

“If there’s a problem I’m sure Toby could-”

“Just stay here and I’ll take care of this, no need for HR”

She knew a lost cause when she saw one so she shrugged and gave up (when did she start letting things go? Including his horrendous imitation of movies.) He grins in response and stands up.

“Gotta get to work Jan. See you”

She feels like she’s been tricked but his spy shuffle is worth doing his job for him (for a few minutes).

***

She has no idea what he’s been doing for the last hour but he’s wearing his jacket and has half melted snow across the back of his coat.

“Michael where were you?”

“If I told you that, I’d have to kill you, except I wouldn’t because you’re my girlfriend but…” he tries to raise an eyebrow and she wants to look away.

“Anyways, you have to come with me- this is what we’ve been waiting for,”

He grabs her arm and pulls her to her feet, she lets him drag her though the office and out to the elevator before stopping him.

“What is going on? I need to be back in New York tomorrow and we haven’t even discussed the-”

He interrupts with something about blowing his cover and she lets him lead her down the stairs and leans against the wall silently. She has no idea what is going on until she hears voices approaching and Michael leaps out shouting ‘freeze’ and immediately pulls a face of complete horror. She doesn’t want to know.

***

Angela is the worst of it, between rants about spying and venomous glare, and Michael’s frequent exclamations of disgust (Argh Dwight just… eesh) are making one stupid piece of paper. She decides that there are some things that she’d rather not know.

(Maybe it was a good thing, because at least there are no more secret relationships, (she sincerely hopes)) but she still makes Michael promise not to use his email surveillance anymore