Chapter Twelve

Epilogue

He was absolutely incorrigible.

“Go away.” She says, laughter filling her voice. “Jim, I’m serious!”

He rests his head against the closed door, laughing back at her. “C’mon. Pam, please? Just let me look at you one more time.”

“Too late, my friend. You are out of luck. I’m already dressed.” She rests her hand against the door, unknowingly mirroring his hand on the other side. “You better get out of here. I’m serious. My mom’s going to kick your ass if she catches you.”

“I can take her.” He smiles widely. “I’m a lavender belt.”

Her voice lowers sympathetically. “Are you still sad we didn’t invite Dwight? ‘Cause we can call him. I know you still have his cell number from that time when we prank called him...”

“You say that like it was a one time occurrence.” He rolls his eyes. “Beesly, c’mon. I think it’s you who wants him here. Is it because secretly you’ve harbored a crush on him all these years? Are you having second thoughts?”

“Never. Not in a million years.” Her voice becomes soft and serious. “Check your jacket pocket.” She whispers.

He blinks. “What?”

“Just check it. On the left side.” She prods him.

Jim’s hand moves to slip inside and he touches something round and circular. He pulls it out of his pocket and twirls it around in his fingers. A smile tugs his lips as he sees what it is, a sterling silver poker chip.

He rubs his thumb over the face of it and realizes it’s been engraved. His vision blurs as he reads the inscription.

I’m all in, always. Love, Pam

“Pam.” He whispers, tears swimming in his eyes.

“I love you.” She says sweetly, knowing without even seeing his face, exactly how she’s gotten to him. It serves him right, she thinks as her hand runs over the strand of pearls at her neck, a little gift he’d gone and surprised her with last night.

“God.” He stares at the chip again and then at the door. It takes him a minute to find his voice. “Yeah. I- um - I love you too.”

“I’ll see you in a few minutes. Go on. Get out of here. I promise you it’ll be worth the wait.” He can hear the smile in her voice.

A few minutes seems like hours to him at this point. His hand moves to grab the doorknob when he hears someone clearing their throat loudly. His turns towards the sound and sees Pam’s mother standing a few feet away and giving him a scolding look.

“Don’t worry. I’m going Mrs. B.” He says sheepishly, hanging his head a bit.

“You’d better.” She tries to look stern but can’t help herself from smiling back at him.

As he walks past her he stops and bends down to press a kiss to her cheek. “Thank you.” He whispers as he pulls away.

“What for?” She looks at him quizzically.

“For her. For making me the luckiest man alive.” He says, solemnly, taking a deep breath and giving her a nod. “Just…thank you.”

She presses a hand to her heart as she watches him go. She moves towards the door and sighs as she whispers. “She’s the lucky one.”

It seems his life is in severe danger.

Pam’s threatened to kill him five times today.

She grips his hand so tightly, he’s afraid she’s broken every single finger.

“What else are you going to do?” She barks at him. “That is no where near enough to make up for this!”

He’s already agreed to bring her breakfast in bed until the next millennium, do the laundry until he turns sixty and change every single diaper until the baby is out of them.

“Pam.” He says wearily, afraid that he’s going to permanently lose circulation on his left side. “Whatever you want. Just tell me. I’ll do it.”

No one explained it would be like this. None of the books they’d read prepared them in the least.

“Jim.” She sobs and loosens her death grip on him.

“Yeah.” He whispers, leaning down to place a kiss on her brow.

“I’m really scared.” She says her voice shaking.

”Me too.” He admits.

Nature takes pity on them and it doesn’t take much longer. Soon, just like the books predicted, the ordeal is all but forgotten.

He never thought he could be more in love than he already was.

But now he realizes, as they place his daughter in his arms, that anything is possible.

She always knew he’d be good at this.

“Did you get the train set running?” She says with a yawn, one hand resting on the small of her back, the other on her swollen stomach.

He looks completely frazzled. “Yeah. Finally. Seriously. Where are the elves when you need them?”

An image of one elf in particular fills her mind as she smiles widely. “You really don’t want me answer that do you?”

“Um. No.” He replies, reconsidering. “Never mind.”

“What about the easel? Did you remember to put the paints out when you set it under the tree?”

The fact that their daughter seems to have inherited her mother’s amazing talent had Jim in a constant state of wonder. That and the fact that she looked exactly like Pam made him smile just thinking about her.

“Yes. She’s going to love it.” He whispered as he leans down to kiss her quickly.

He follows her to the bedroom and helps her settle down on the mattress. “Not much longer huh?” He says softly as his hand rubs a small circle on her belly. He’s rewarded with a particularly strong kick. “Ooo. Ouch! OK. That’s gotta hurt.”

”Tell me about it buddy.” She mutters as she glares at him, but even so her hand covers his and she sighs.

She stares at the ceiling for a moment and can tell he’s still awake. She turns to look at him and laughs loudly.

“I cannot even believe you. You are as bad as the kids.” She says with a shake of her head.

“Just give me one hint.” He pleads. “Is it a new TV?”

“No.” She says, her voice definite.

“That new video game? You know that would be as much a gift for Jimmy as it would be for me.”

“Stop using your son as an excuse Jim.” She scolded him. “And I’m still not telling you.”

“If you don’t tell me – I won’t be able to sleep.” He says in all seriousness.

“Sorry to hear it.” She replies groggily, not having that issue at all.

She can’t stop laughing at him.

Pam leans on the kitchen counter and watches him closely. “Jim. We’ve been through this twice before. I don’t understand why you’re such a nervous wreck.”

“It’s different. She’s the last one. Hey. Did you pack her lunchbox?” He asks as his eyes dart wildly around the kitchen.

“Yes. She’s all set. Ham and cheese on whole wheat – but I went all crazy and cut it into quarters.” She laughs as she continues. “She’s also got carrot sticks and red Jell-O and because it’s the first day, a grape juice box. The Halpert standard.”

“I can’t believe she’s already five.” He sighs and looks at her wearily.

“I can’t believe you are such a softie.” She whispers as she moves towards him, making him stop and take a deep breath as she turns him to face her. “You knew this would happen. Jim - they’re all going to grow up sometime.” She says as her mouth touches his.

“Yeah.” He says with a nod as he kisses her back. “But I don’t have to like it.”

They say things always come full circle.

He paces at the back of the church. He catches her eye and blows out a breath.

“Hi.” He looks up quickly and then stares at the floor again.

He looks so distinguished in his tux it makes her smile.

“Hey.” She says softly. “You OK?”

“No.” He shakes his head, stuffing his hands in his pockets to keep them from shaking. “I should have told him no when he asked me.”

She places a hand on the side of his face and makes him meet her eyes. “Jim.”

“She’s too young.” He protests.

She rises on her toes and kisses him quickly. “She’s twenty-seven.”

“He’s too…” He tries again.

“What?” She asks, her eyes dancing with laughter.

He knows the real reason. He gazes down and her and finally admits the truth. “I’m just not ready to let her go yet.”

She knows what he means. She’s not exactly ready herself. But she sees things a little differently than he does. He’s always been a sucker for his little girls.

“Well luckily we have two daughters. Think of this time as a warm up.”

She can see he’s still struggling and decides to try a different tactic. “Remember the day we got married? Remember how happy we were? How happy we are now?”

As he gazes at her now, he’s struck at how beautiful she is. It’s like all these years haven’t even touched her at all. He runs a finger over the line of her jaw. “Yes.” He nods.

She kisses him again to make her point. “He’s perfect for her – like you’re perfect for me. She’s going to be this happy too. Jim how could you possibly deny her something as wonderful as that?”

It’s enough of a reminder to have resigning himself to the inevitable. “I can’t.”

His takes his hand out of his pocket holds his poker chip in his fist. Just the weight of it in his palm calms him immensely.

“You’ll be OK now?” Pam whispers as she smiles at their son, tall and handsome and so much like his father. He’s standing at the end of the aisle, waiting to take her to her seat.

“I’ll be OK.” He says, hoping it will be true.

“Love you.” She whispers as she reaches for his free hand and gives it a squeeze.

“Love you too.” He says softly holding the chip tighter.

As he watches her go he’s struck with a realization. It’s the moments like these they hold onto. All those little pockets of time through the years that have shaped them and made them what they are today.

Some weren’t so easy to live through, but he knows one thing for certain.

If he had known back then what he knew now, if he had only known that this amazing life they shared was what the result would be, he would have known long ago that all their struggles were more than worth it.