Chapter Nine

She's shaking, physically shaking.

He's coming back.

Before she can even say anything - before she can figure out just how to do this she gets the notice from Corporate.

She's been dragging her feet all summer and now it's nearly fall. Well. It's September at least.

Weeks, months, days of daydreams and hoping and trying to make up her mind. Now - it's made up for her.

He's coming back.

Its perfect timing. They're screening the documentary today. Even though they've been told they're extending filming they're going to finally get to see some result.

Her palms are sweaty.

He's coming back.

Her eyes are glued to the door. The phone rings and she hits voicemail.

He's coming back.

It opens and suddenly, he's there.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

He can't believe he's been downsized.

He can't believe could not care less.

He's back.

It'll be tricky. Roy still works downstairs. He doesn't care. He's got a note card that he's been carrying in his briefcase that proves in plain black and "lavender" that Roy's not an issue anymore.

It's over.

He's back.

He's full of nervous anticipation, for more reasons than one. They're going to watch the footage tonight and it makes him a little nervous. Half the time he forgot the cameras were there. What exactly would they catch? He decided he didn't care.

He's back.

His heart beats frantically as he rides the elevator. It dings and he takes a deep breath before reaching out and opening the door.

He's back.

It opens and suddenly, she's there.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

As she hears the door open, Pam fights to keep a straight face. She's sure he can hear her heart beating as she says cheerfully. "Hello. May I help you?"

Oh my God. How did I live without you for a day - let alone months?

A smile tugs at the corners of his lips as Jim stares down at her. "Yes. Hi. I'm hoping you can."

Look at you. You're even more beautiful than I remember.

"Sure." She replies, unable to keep herself from grinning back at him.

Anything. Just…anything.

"Great. Listen, I seem to have a deep-seated desire to work along side a beet farmer and be managed by an absolute lunatic. Am I in the right place?" He gives her a quizzical look and holds her gaze intensely.

I'm never leaving again. Understand? Not unless I take you with me.

She nods towards his still vacant desk. "Absolutely. You're in luck. Have a seat."

Have anything you want. Have me. Please..

Her cheeks flush crimson. She's mortified. She's sure she almost says it aloud.

"Thanks."

A moment passes, then another. He can't seem to tear his eyes from hers.

He's out of clever things to say. A huge smile blooms over his face as he whispers. "Hi."

"Hey." She gives him an identical look.

"I hear non-congratulations are in order." He says then, wanting to get it out of the way early.

"You hear correctly." She says, her smile faltering a bit.

Maybe it's not a good idea to joke.

"Are you OK?" He asks, his gaze and his voice suddenly serious.

"I am now." She whispers under her breath, her eyes swimming with tears.

He notices the change in her immediately. "Pam?"

"I'm OK. Thanks." She whispers back.

"We have…" He begins.

She nods, not needing him to finish. "I know."

"Later?" He asks hopefully.

"Definitely." She nods.

And that's it. That's all the time they have. Suddenly Michael's out of his office and proclaiming today "Jim Halpert Day" and summoning them all into the conference room.

It's only 11:30 am but it seems that its show time.

As they file in, Jim receives a warm welcome. Of course he does. There is no one who doesn't like Jim. Dwight says he doesn't but Pam's sure that deep down even he's got a soft spot

Who wouldn't adore you? She thinks as she glances at him sideways. I can't believe I've held out for so long.

They take chairs side by side. Jim smiles as their shoulders touch. Sitting in such close proximity is actually enough to make his breathing labored.

"Where's the red carpet?" He leans close and whispers in her ear. "Is there even popcorn?"

His breath in her ear makes the hairs on her the back of her neck stand on end.

She leans close and whispers back, "Jim. Please. How easily you forget. It hasn't been that long. We're no frills here at Dunder-Mifflin."

She's so caught up in the fact that he's right next to her, their elbows bumping against each other on the arm rest that she doesn't notice Darryl, Roy and Lonny walking in.

And as they pass Jim reaches for her hand and gives it a quick squeeze. He doesn't let go, but lets their hands fall between them, concealed from the rest of the audience.

"It'll be OK." He says under his breath.

"Promise?" She asks, panic evident in her eyes.

"Promise." He nods as he squeezes her hand again.

Michael gives one of the world's most horrible speeches on record as if for him that's even possible. The producers and director say a few words, much more eloquently. A resounding round of applause goes out to the camera crew as the credits role on The Office: An American Workplace.

It's not exactly the first episode. It's more of a highlight reel and she's painfully aware that she and Jim must play starring roles. As each frame goes by she catches more and more moments that she tried desperately not to see the first time around.

Why can't you see what's happening in your own life? She can't believe it took her so long.

It's in the way he speaks about her to the camera. It's written all over his face.

He loves her. He's loved her all this time.

Jim's eyes are glued to the screen. He's seeing the looks she's been giving him for years. As each frame goes by he catches more and more moments that he'd missed completely the first time around.

Why do you need reminders of what happens in your own life? He can't believe he'd waited so long.

It's in the way she speaks about him to the camera. It's written all over her face.

She loves him. She's loved him all this time.

After only fifteen minutes, Roy storms out. There's a pang of guilt as she watches him go. She tries to summon the strength to go off after him but she simply can't. Jim's still holding her hand and there's nothing else in the world.

He loves her. He's loved her all this time.

He's not going to question a thing. He's just going to sit back and let it happen. He's not going to overanalyze. He's just going to simply enjoy the miracle sitting beside him. There's only one thing he cares about - one thing on his mind.

She loves him. She's loved him all this time.

She sees him doing what she used to pray for. She sees how he's been taking care of her for years, as she stands by completely oblivious. She knows deep down she's always known it.

He loves her. He's loved her all this time.

He sees how jealous she's been. He watches her face on screen at how angry he's made her sometimes. He watches her cry when she talks about her dreams.

He leans down and whispers. "It's not too late you know."

"To what?" She replies, sniffling.

She loves him. She's loved him all this time.

He squeezes her hand again. "Have those dreams."

He loves her. He's loved her all this time.

She can't speak so she simply nods.

They sit through the whole thing, knowing now that the inevitable is going to happen. When the credits roll they all stand around the conference room and mingle for a bit.

Angela baked cookies shaped like televisions and video cameras. Kelly's talking about being able to crash parties in Hollywood now. Kevin's wondering if his band will get a record deal out of this.

Pam's head is spinning and about to burst.

She need a minute alone so without really meaning to she moves to the far end of the office, towards a tiny supply closet she forgets is there half the time. She is not at all surprised that when the door closes behind her she's not alone.

There's only a small, dull, unadorned light bulb illuminating the space. The light is so dim, he has to squint to see her, her face is in shadows.

"How many times?" She asks him, not daring to turn around.

"What?" He asks, completely at a loss. He simply needed to talk to her alone - finally. So he took the opportunity and followed her here.

She's still talking. "I used to dream that you would. I still have those dreams. Sometimes you're some sort of superhero, other times, you are just perfectly you. All the time, you're saving me from…something."

She turns to face him, tears running down her cheeks. Her voice shakes. "How many other times did you save me when I wasn't looking?"

He wants to say he doesn't know what she means, but he can't.

"Enough." He shrugs.

She can barely move there's so much junk in here but she doesn't care. Her arms brush against his and she sighs. "Thank you." She whispers.

"It's nothing" He shrugs, his heart pounding.

"Jim." She whispers, swaying a bit. "It's not nothing."

"Yeah." Their breath mingles they are so close. She thinks maybe she should stand on a stack of paper. She wonders what it would be like to stare straight into his eyes.

She makes an attempt, but fails. His arms latch around her waist to steady her.

As he touches her she loses all rational train of thought. "I need to ask you a question." She finally manages.

He's too busy staring at her mouth to answer right away. It takes him a full minute.

"Yeah?" He's lost every ounce of his eloquence.

"Are you ever going to kiss me again?" She asks innocently, her eyes already fluttering closed and her hands moving towards his hair.

"I was thinking about it." He replies, infinitely more calmly than he feels.

Her lips briefly bump against his as she says softly. "What's stopping you?"

He pulls back slightly, unsure. "Do you need…" He asks, wanting nothing more than to hear a negative answer. "…more ti…"

"I think time's run out." She shakes her head at him and their lips brush against each other's once more.

It's torture, but the best kind.

His arms tighten around her, and he fights to keep his voice steady. "OK - well. In that case I'm…"

"Oh." She breathes reaching her hand to the back of his neck and pulling his face towards hers. "Please…"

He sinks in slowly, savoring, tasting, and losing himself instantly. There is nothing, absolutely nothing he imagined that compares to this.

She rises on her toes and presses herself closer. She knew he had a hell of a mouth. He'd reduced her to a quivering mess with just one smile but what he was doing now was nothing short of heaven on earth.

She was convinced she had actually died and gone there.

"Jim…"

She knows there's only once place to go from here but it's not the time - definitely not the place.

"Home?" He asks, his voice shaking.

"Yeah." She nods as her lips seek his again. They're incredibly insistent. It takes him a few moments before he can speak again.

"Mine?" He finally manages.

She pulls back slightly and gives him a look. "Do you still have one?"

His hands run up and down her back making her inch closer to him.

"Yeah. Um…Mark…no new roommate…"

"Good." She breathes as she ducks her head and snuggles closer, resting her cheek on his chest. His heart is pounding so loudly she can feel it.

He holds her tighter, his chin resting on the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her shampoo.

"Now?"

"Yeah. Um…definitely…now."

They make their way out slowly. Jim first, she follows three seconds later. He takes the stairs, she takes the elevator.

And they break fourteen different traffic laws as they race to his house.