Jim was laying on his side in bed, seething. Karen was nestled up against him, her back pressed against his chest. Her neck was resting on his bottom arm. His other arm was draped over her body, resting carelessly against her stomach, drawing her closer to him. It was probably a touching, peacefully intimate moment for Karen, but Jim felt no such warmth. She was sleeping gently. He was laying awake, burning inside as he thought back on his day.

Work had sucked again. Dan had not been seen again after the morning, but his presence loomed large, stabbing Jim repeatedly. At about 11AM, Michael called a "Pronto" on a potential client, but this time he called Dwight instead of Jim. Thirty minutes later they were high-fiving, loudly celebrating their big sale. Worse than that, though, was the hint of a smile that Pam was wearing throughout the day. There was a bounce in her step that Jim had seen exactly once since Casino Night-- during that short moment when he had first returned to the office after the merger, that brief moment before their sad history had caught up to them once again. Pam had jumped out from behind her desk and embraced him. He had almost forgotten how hard he was trying to hate her.

During the afternoon, Phyllis had ambled over to Pam's desk, leaned over, and exchanged hushed but excited dialog with Pam. Jim hadn't heard it all, but he'd heard most of Pam's side, and it had been enough.

"No, he's not really ready to date yet, but I'm not really ready either, so he asked me over to have some coffee and be a friendly ear..."

"Yeah.. his place..."

"No..."

"Yeah..."

"Phyllis! Even if I owned one I wouldn't wear it. Floss is for your teeth!"

Giggling.

Karen had a drawer full of thongs, but the mental image of Pam wearing one burned Jim in more ways than one. If Phyllis had been about a foot to either side, Pam would have seen Jim's neck searing a dark shade of crimson, as his neck veins pulsing with visible anger.


**************

Jim's unpleasant daydream was violently interrupted.

"AUGHHHHH!" Karen threw her elbow back into Jim's ribs as hard as she could. He reacted sharply to the pain, pushing her away. She rolled and turned to face him, sitting up violently, as she drew her knees to her chest and formed a little defensive ball with her body.

"KAREN WHAT THE HELL..."

She looked genuinely frightened.

"Jim. Didn't you hear me? You were choking me."

My God. He had. He had been so riled up that he had unknowingly tightened his left arm around his sleeping girlfriend's neck. He had been too lost in his anger to hear her initial cries. Jim was at a loss for words as she continued.

"I kept telling you to stop, Jim. Didn't you hear me? Why... why didn't you stop?"

She was almost crying. Her voice was cracking. She sounded so scared.

Jim reached out to comfort her but she recoiled. He felt terrible. This just wasn't him. He could never hurt a woman like that. Certainly not his trusting, 110 pound girlfriend who had felt safe enough with him to let herself fall asleep with his arm around her neck. He started lying to her in earnest.

"Oh my God Karen, I was asleep, I must have been dreaming or something. Please tell me you're OK!"

She looked at him like she wanted so badly to believe him. He knew this look. He had seen it a few months ago, in a Scranton coffee shop, after he had assured her that he was "really glad you're here."

Karen nodded cautiously.

"OK."

She slept facing him that night.


***************


The next day was not starting any better. Pam had smiled politely at him when he walked in. Karen was still a little shaken, although she was presenting a brave face for Jim. She had tried to joke with him on the ride in, but the atmosphere was noticeably tense, mostly due to Jim's inability to focus through all the clutter that was running through his head. Now, sitting at his desk, he looked over at Karen again. She was obviously confused, frustrated. They had been together for six months. She had on many occasions grown frustrated with him, with his emotional distance. Usually, she just acted bitchy for a while but would back down eventually. This time was different. That look on her face. Sadness. Resignation. Fear? He couldn't keep fooling her forever.

This had to stop, this consuming rage, or there would be nothing left of him. Over the course of the first 28 years and 2 months of his life, Jim had only ever wanted to hurt one person. Now, over the last 72 hours, he had tried to destroy the love of his life, had given serious thought to messily decapitating a young widower with his fists, and had strangled his sleeping girlfriend. This wasn't who he was, damn it. His gentle, lanky frame couldn't carry the weight of all this anger much longer. He was about to buckle. It was time to make things right again. Well, not "again." Nothing had ever been right, so he had to make things right for the first time. He didn't need Karen's sad gaze to remind him.

He waited until she was alone in the break room. He entered slowly. The raw anger that had nearly consumed him had morphed into a heavy, venomous shame that was 100 times worse.

"I'm so sorry... For everything."

Pam looked up at him slowly.