10 months. About 300 days. Not a long time in the grand scheme of things. But now, looking across the break room at the woman who had 300 days ago given Jim his only glimpse at the purest form of true happiness, it felt like 1000 years. He had finally, if only for half a minute, managed to wrap his arms around everything in the world that he held dear. He had been holding not just Pam, but their future, their unborn children, a lifetime of happy memories together all so tangible in his arms. And she had kissed him back.

He had convinced himself a hundred times that he had put it all behind him and moved on. He forced himself to stop re-living that beautiful moment because even in his head, he could not freeze time well enough to isolate that moment of pure bliss with the blunt, lingering pain that came afterwards. The worst times were when he was lying in bed with Karen. She always slept so peacefully, usually nestled up to him or draped over him in some way. It was so tempting, so damn easy to close his eyes and drift back to that moment, to draw Karen's sleeping body closer to him and be holding Pam again. He usually would catch himself, and try to assuage his guilt by whispering her name, "Karen," and running his fingers through her hair or giving her a little forehead kiss. He was always careful not to wake her, though, because when he did she would inevitably look up and smile at him with such a naive hope in her eyes, hope that his affectionate gesture was real, hope that he would finally tell her that he loved her. She had no idea.

Yes, Beesly, my world starts and ends with you. You win again.

Pam took about 5 seconds to respond, but it seemed like forever. Her response was maddeningly vague and was delivered with a solemness that Jim was still not used to hearing.

"I'm sorry too, Jim."

Sorry for what, Pam? Sorry you told Roy? Sorry I acted like an idiot and tried to hurt you? Sorry that you went out with that guy and it's to late to ever make things right? My God. How far they had fallen. Jim knew what he had to do, though, and he intended on getting it done. He approached and sat down at the chair across from her.

"I have to be completely honest with you, Pam, so please just hear me out."

She met his gaze. She looked a little scared now. The last time she'd seen this sincere a look on his face he'd dropped a bomb on her that had changed both their lives. Maybe not for the better.

"I can't do this anymore. Any of it. It's killing me trying to move past everything when you're right here everyday reminding me what could've or should've happened."

She opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out. Jim continued quickly, trying to say what he wanted to say and get it over with.

"Pam, I've decided to leave again."

She froze. Her mouth was still slightly open. She looked miffed... hurt? He continued, picking up the pace even more.

"Karen hates this place, and it's driving us apart. I don't want to lose her, Pam, and I can't make it work with her when I'm wasting my time on stupid pipe dreams about you."

She interrupted him sharply. Stupid pipe dreams had apparently hit her pretty hard.

"I just wanted my friend back! Jim, what did I ever do to you but support you and your fancy new girlfriend? You think that's easy for me?"

He fought the instinct to bring up Roy. He was here to make peace. To bury the past.

"Pam, I'm really sorry. I want my friend back too but I don't think I can ever be friends with you without hurting us both. I'm so sorry."

10 seconds of painful, painful silence. Pam finally spoke. Her words hurt.

"I don't want to be your friend anymore, Jim."

He knew. This was life. This was supposed to happen. This had to happen. It hurt to hear anyway. Pam reached across the table and grabbed his hand.

"I want to be more than that."

What? Jesus. Unlike Jim, though, Pam followed her confession with a little dose of practicality.

"But I'm willing to settle for having my best friend back while he sorts everything out."

She was smiling at him. Hoping. Pleading.

Jim squeezed her hand back.

"You won't have to wait long, Beesly."

They left the break room separately, each sporting a goofy grin. Jim's faded a bit when, as he made his way back to his desk, Karen looked up at him and flashed a warm smile. He forced a smile back. The poor thing. She had no idea what was coming next.