Pam jumped nearly two inches out of her seat when the sound of a blaring whistle rang out through the office. People turned to glare in the direction it was coming from and were greeted with the sight of Michael, who had ditched his suit for army fatigues. He donned a wide brimmed black hat and a much too tight black t-shirt and shiny leather combat boots. He clutched the whistle beneath his teeth, grinning over his new toy and attention-getter. The office waited in silence for whatever announcement he had disrupted the workday for. Michael in return stared blankly back at them.
“What?” he said, whistle still clutched between his teeth.
“Is there something you need, Michael?” Angela said sternly.
“Nope. Just wanted to test this beauty out. Works like a charm,” he replied, taking the whistle out of his mouth to polish it. Angela rolled her eyes in disgust.
Michael’s outfit is heinous. Only those with true authority could possibly pull off an outfit such as that. Like policemen, or firemen…or deputies. Angela gives a panicked look to the camera. Just as an example.
“And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for!” Michael announced, singing in fanfare style as he produced the two brown bags from his office. He reached in and pulled out outfits identical to the one he was wearing.
“Uniforms! Stanley, think fast!” he said, tossing one to Stanley who didn’t even look up as the extra large fatigues landed on his head. Michael continued to distribute the outfits, lingering a bit longer than normal as he handed them to the women.
“Michael,” Pam said patiently as she held up her black top. “What’s wrong with my shirt?” The top had been unevenly cut right under the bust line, removing a good six inches of material.
“Oh that’s—that’s just how all the women in the army are wearing it these days. More comfortable that way. Trust me.”
Pam shot a look of contempt toward the camera.
Well, that’s just great. Not only do I get to go to a boot camp designed by Michael, but I get to do it while looking like a Hooter’s reject. She shook her head.
Fantastic.
“Mine looks okay,” Phyllis said meekly from her desk.
“So does mine,” called out Meredith.
“Yeah, there’s…a reason for that,” Michael muttered, giving a not-so-subtle shudder. “Oh, almost forgot something!” He scurried back to his office and slammed the door in excitement. Jim leaned back to make sure Michael was occupied, then got up and walked to Karen’s desk where she was examining her extremely short top with disgust.
“I can’t wear this.”
“Come on, Filipelli. Gotta be a team player,” Jim teased, punching her playfully in the shoulder.
“I can be a team player without baring midriff,” she retorted with a smile, hitting him on the arm with the skimpy shirt.
“Big Jim Bean!” Michael called running back from his office slightly out of breath. “Since you are my number two in command, it is only fair that you get one of these bad boys too.” Michael pulled from behind his back a hat just like the one he wore, and he plopped it ceremoniously on Jim’s head. Jim heard Karen snort behind him, and he rubbed his lips together in frustration.
“Oh man, you are workin’ that hat my brotha! You know, this could actually serve two purposes, one for the actual training and then…you know… ‘role playing.’” He giggled and slapped Jim on the back before turning back to his office. Jim hung his head, avoiding Karen’s eyes. Her jaw dropped a bit and looked nervously around the office as her cheeks flushed into a bright red. Jim caught Kevin’s stare and rolled his eyes as Kevin smiled and mouthed “Nice.”
I think I’m really going to like boot camp. Kevin grinned at the camera. A lot.
xxx
While normally the week made a crawling pace to Friday, the departure day for boot camp came sooner than anyone had hoped. It was 3:00 pm when the large charter bus blared its horn from the parking lot, announcing its arrival and the cue for everyone to pack up early.
Michael marched from his office and stood at the doorway, dressed head to toe in army gear with clipboard in hand.
“Okay troops! Follow me downstairs and we’ll get this show on the road! Make sure to have all your belongings and don’t forget to use the bathroom before we leave, we are not making any stops, Kevin” Michael glared at a confused Kevin, still struggling to tie the laces on his combat boots. The entire office was already changed into their fatigues, and Pam folded her arms awkwardly across her stomach in order to cover up the exposed skin. She looked to see Jim and Karen gathering their things, laughing over some inaudible joke together. Karen displayed her toned stomach with pride, her hair pulled back into a high ponytail to reveal even more skin along her neck. But it was Jim who was proving to be the biggest distraction. Pam had always been a sucker for a guy in uniform.
Jim slung his duffel bag over his shoulder and made his way toward the door.
“Ready, Private Beesly?”
She grinned and grabbed the single suitcase she had brought along for the trip.
“Yes, sir.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
The troops move out for Basic Training, wearing army fatigues that have been so generously altered by Michael.
Chapter End Notes:
Yeah it was short. Sorry about that. Longer chapters to come though, I promise. Reviews make me happier than the thought of Jim in uniform...okay maybe not quite, but damn close.
