Disclaimer:  I do not own these characters, or the Office, or the Phillies, or a Dwight Bobblehead doll (although I do want one.)  No copyright infringement intended.

Jim sat at the bar in the infamous Scranton Chili’s, nursing the last remnants of his now lukewarm beer.  He had left work a little earlier than necessary to meet Mark for drinks and some much needed friend therapy.  He stared at the TV in the corner of the bar that was showing the Phillies opening day, letting his vision alternate between focused and unfocused.  It had been an altogether unbelievable day at the office, and he was thankful he had set up this evening a week ago giving himself an easy out from the inevitable discussion Karen would be demanding.

Ever since he had kissed Pam, he wondered when the shoe would drop, when Roy would find out and come looking for him.  In fact, when he was packing to move to Stamford, he was sure Roy would come to his house.  He waited for it in a way.  But he didn’t.  When he moved, he half expected Roy to call him and harass him on the phone; but he didn’t.  Apparently the whole thing was another in a long line of events that Pam hid from Roy, and until today he had been thankful for that. 

Jim liked to think he was a brave man, but when Roy lunged for him, he was afraid.  Afraid of a million things, and getting punched was the least of his worries.  What would Karen think?  What did it all mean?  What did Pam say?  Did Roy take any of that anger out on her?  He motioned the bartender for another beer when he heard a familiar voice call to him, “Hey Man!  What’s up?”

“Not much.  It’s been too long again.”  Jim got up off the barstool and the two men shook hands.  They didn’t see each other as often as they used to since they no longer lived together.  Mark was living with his girlfriend Jane and what with Jim dating Karen there wasn’t a lot of free time. 

They ordered a few appetizers and a pitcher and settled into a nearby booth.  “So how’s Jane?”

“Eh, she’s pretty good.  Work’s crazy right now, I’m working pretty long hours.  I’m glad you called, gave me a chance to get away early.  So, uh, how are things going with you?”  Mark peered expectantly over his beer.

“Everything’s…..”  Jim pondered on how to answer without giving too much away.  He settled on the easy way out, “Everything’s cool.  Status quo.”  Jim’s eyes darted back to the baseball game on TV. 

“Yeah, know what you mean.  My biggest excitement right now is 10 cent wing night at BW3’s and the fact that baseball is back.”  Mark motioned to the baseball game with his beer and smiled. 

“Right.”  Jim nodded, relieved to be able to talk about nothing important for a change.

“Jane keeps asking about you.  I think she misses hearing all your stories about Dunder Mifflin.”  

Jim’s mind wandered thinking about the nights that he used to sit in the living room with Mark and Jane recounting whatever ridiculous thing that had happened that day in the office.  Jane loved Jim’s impressions of his co-workers and would always chime in with a ‘shut up, he did not do that’ when they talked about Michael.  Jim felt a sadness come upon him when he realized that the other person he and Jane would talk about a lot was Pam.

“You need a nipple for that beer you’re nursing?” 

“Huh?  Sorry my mind wandered.”

“So I noticed….”

“Yeah, well, I had an interesting day….”  Jim traced the rim of his beer glass, not quite making eye contact with Mark and trying to keep the whole thing nonchalant.

“Oh yeah?  What happened?”  Mark turned his attention to dissecting the last part of a spring roll.

“You remember Pam?  The receptionist?”

Mark chuckled a little that Jim would ask him that, as if there had not been hundreds of drunken discussions between his girlfriend and Jim about one Pam Beesly and the small unavoidable fact that Jim was totally in love with her.  When Jim got drunk, you could bet the next topic of conversation he would bring up would be Pam.  “I vaguely recall a Pam.  Proceed…..”

Jim smiled a moment at their little attempt to dance around this subject.  “Her Neanderthal ex-fiancé came into the office today apparently bent on beating the crap out of me.”

All amusement drained out of Mark.  He had never met Roy but Jim was not the kind of guy that really knew how to hold his own with a bully.  If he did he doubted they would even be in this situation.  “What?  In the office?  How did you get out of that?”

Jim started laughing, almost maniacally into his beer as he took a swig, “Actually, Dwight pepper sprayed him.” 

They locked eyes for a moment as they both burst out laughing.  “Seriously?  That guy is…..unexpected and……odd.” 

“Yep, but I think I owe him one.  Roy really looked beyond pissed off.”

“How did that happen you think?”

“Well apparently Pam told him that we kissed.  He did not take it well.”

“Apparently not.  Did you talk to Pam?”

“Well yes and no.  She apologized all over herself, but she didn’t really explain.  Course I suspect that’s a hard thing to do with my girlfriend staring her down and all.”

Mark flinched for dramatic effect, “Ouch, yeah I forgot about Karen, bet she didn’t like any of that.”

Jim laughed again as he set the beer down and slipped back in his seat, slouching in the booth.  “You could say that.  Although, I tried to avoid her as much as possible this afternoon.”

“Pam or Karen?”

“Both actually.”

For a moment, there was nothing but silence between the two as Mark refilled their glasses.  “So what’s your plan?”

Jim responded quickly with his stock answer, “No plan.  I’ll beg Karen’s forgiveness.  We’ll discuss the whole thing forever and a day and then it’ll be over.  Everything will settle back down.”

Mark pondered his beer for a moment, checking the score of the game out of the corner of his eye.  He didn’t understand his old friend these days.  Even though he liked Karen, she was smart and incredibly hot, Jim seemed to be a completely different person when he was with her.  Mark had known Jim a long time, and he knew a rebound gone wrong when he saw it.

“Do you really want it to settle back down?”

“What?  Oh yeah of course I do.”  Jim sounded a little too distant to be believed.  “Do you think I like being the target of angry ex’s?”

“No, but I think that if Pam broke up with that guy and he came after you, there’s more to the story.  I’m just surprised you aren’t interested in what that is.”

“Pam and I…..well, I’m with Karen now.”

“Yep, you are, and you seem very happy about it.”  Mark couldn’t help the sarcasm that dripped from every word.  Jim hadn’t acted truly happy in months. 

“What the hell does that mean?”  Jim snapped harshly.

“Listen,…nothing.  Never mind.  Just surprised you’re not even tempted to see what’s going on with Pam.”

“Pam’s not interested. I don’t know why she told him, but I’m sure it doesn’t have anything to do with me.”

“You don’t know that, unless you talk to her.”

“You know what Mark, I do know that Pam rejected me twice and never made a move toward me after that as anything other than friends.  She didn’t even care when I came back from Stamford with Karen.”

“Ah, using the new girlfriend to get back at Pam were you?”

“Well, no.  Yes.  I don’t know.  But she didn’t seem to care, she went right back to the ‘we’re friends’ default position.” 

The two sat in silence staring into nothingness; Jim wasn’t sure how much he really wanted to say.  Speaking feelings aloud made them real.  Maybe if he just kept quiet, he could pretend a little longer than he really was the new man he had pretended to be for so long.  Besides he hated owning up to the idea that he loved bringing Karen back and telling Pam about it.  He loved showing her that he had moved on. 

“Hey Man, I’m sure you know best.  I’m just saying it wouldn’t be unheard of for someone in that office to hide their true feelings.  Maybe you pulled out the Karen preemptive strike too soon.”  Mark took another swig of beer.

“Mark, don’t be ridiculous.  It wasn’t like that.”  Jim put his hands up in a sign of frustration, “If she cared she could have said something, anything….”

“Like maybe invite you to coffee or something.”

Jim pursed his lips; he knew he should never have told Jane about that.  But he was so confused when he got back to Scranton, he needed to talk to someone and Jane seemed like the most compassionate ear.  He should have known she would tell Mark. 

It didn’t matter, even if Mark was right.  Karen was his girlfriend now, part of his new evolved life.  Things were coming together.  Could he really take a chance on Pam again and risk losing all that he had?  His response was sharp to hide his confusion,

“Mark I’m sure you mean well but I don’t see why you’re bringing this up now unless you’re just trying to be an asshole.  Pam Beesly is ancient history.  Really, I’m over her.” 

Jim wished he could cover the fact that his voice cracked on that last part, which did not make him sound very convincing.

Mark took a heavy breath and a long draw on his beer, slamming the glass down, more than a little affected by both the alcohol and his friend’s attitude.  There’s nothing more frustrating than watching your friend make the same mistake over and over.    

“Ok cut the crap Jim, you aren’t even acting like yourself anymore.  I don’t understand what you are so afraid of.”

Mark paused for a moment trying to decide if he should say the rest of what he was thinking.  He continued on, “Look Karen is pretty and smart and together, really she’s great.  But I think you’re still in love with Pam and you’re mad as hell at yourself for it.”

Jim stared into his beer, completely unable to look Mark in the eye, but Mark continued undeterred.   He took a deep breath and said much softer,

“Man, you can do whatever you want.  I’ll back you whatever you do.  But you’ll never know what you want if you keep hiding behind Karen.  I think you owe it to yourself to find out what’s going with Pam.  You can’t really move on without it.”

Jim’s body relaxed a little sensing that the sermon was over.  As much as he hated to admit it, he knew that Mark was right.  Jim sighed, finally giving up a little of the tension he had been holding in all day and letting out the shock of having someone actually call him out about the way he’d been acting. 

“I think we need more beer….and probably cheese fries.”  Jim cracked a little smile to let Mark know that he wasn’t upset.

Mark smiled back warmly, “Oh yeah, that’s for sure.”  Mark signaled for the waitress.  “Are we gonna talk about the Phillies new line up or what?”  It was definitely time for a change of topic.