“I think we should go for some coffee now,” Angela says suddenly appearing at the reception desk.
Pam glances at the clock, and gives Angela a grateful smile. Silently she sends the phones to voicemail, collects her purse, and follows Angela into the warm October day. In the midst of the flurry of office activity only one person notices the two leave, and he can’t help but think it an odd pairing.
Four months earlier She hadn’t meant for it to happen like this—hurried and fumbling in a bathroom stall. Jim hadn’t even let her say more then two words before his lips were moving on hers. And so she’d wrapped herself around him, around the moment. When he came he whispered her name with a sort of reverence, and she felt a flicker of hope. Neither of them had said much after it happened that first time. They silently sifted back into the office mix. After it happened a second time, Pam worked up enough courage to tell him, to finally say the three words that had held her paralyzed for over a year. But there was a knock at his front door, and she sprinted for the bathroom before she had the chance. The fifth and last time Pam murmured, “I can’t stop this” against his shoulder because she realized it was getting out of hand. She still hadn’t told him how she felt, and she knew he still hadn’t come anywhere close to ending things with Karen. She knew she would let it continue indefinitely, and she figured he should at least know that much. As she said the words he froze, and he hadn’t thawed months later.“How are you feeling today?” Angela asks, handing Pam a cup of ginger tea.
“Okay,” Pam replies, taking a small sip of the tea.
“Did you eat anything this morning?” Angela brushes imaginary crumbs off her chair before sitting down.
Pam allows a small smile at Angela’s mother hen routine. “I had a banana.”
Angela stops stirring her tea and frowns across the table. “Pam, you know very well that a banana is not enough nourishment. Did you at least take your vitamin?”
Three months ago “Listen up, party people, Jimbo has a very special announcement that he wants all of you to hear,” Michael beamed. Jim’s eyes had swung to her, setting her pulse racing. He cleared his throat several times before going to stand awkwardly by Karen. “Well, go ahead, Jim,” Karen urged. Pam watched Jim’s eyes fall to his hands. “We’re engaged,” he muttered. A loud buzzing noise filled Pam’s ears, and as people jumped up to congratulate the happy couple she dashed to the bathroom. Hunched over in a stall, Pam heaved several times and collapsed to the floor in tears. She didn’t know how long she’d sat there sobbing, and quite frankly she didn’t care. When she felt calm again, Pam stood up and splashed some cold water on her face. Just as she was about to leave the bathroom, Angela hurried in, disgust written on her face. “I’m not planning a bridal shower for that hussy,” she declared vehemently. “I don’t care if I am the chairwoman of the party planning committee, Jim shouldn’t marry her and he knows it. And he wouldn’t, you know, if you told him the truth about your…situation.” Pam just stared at her, mouth hanging open slightly. Angela shook her head impatiently. “You’ve been loyal and trustworthy with my secret,” she said. “I’m not going to tell anyone yours.” “How do you…” Pam couldn’t finish her thought. She was still too startled by this break in Angela’s normally rigid demeanor. Sighing, Angela went to the sink and began to fuss with making a cold compress. “Someone, let’s call him Kurt, may have mentioned something to me about your situation,” Angela began, handing the damp paper towel to Pam. “The cameramen can be very helpful also, when you need to gather accurate information to dispel gossip.” Pam gasped at the thought of Angela snooping through documentary footage. It seemed so very sneaky, and it made Pam smile. “Why don’t we go get some coffee?” Angela suggested. Pam hesitated, feeling overwhelmed by the unexpected kindness. “Um…Angela, why are you being so nice to me?” Angela had flushed slightly, and muttered something about ‘Christian duty’ as she hurried out of the bathroom leaving Pam to follow her.
Pam fidgets with her spoon. “I’m starting to show,” she murmurs.
Angela takes a sip of her tea and nods. “I don’t think anyone else has noticed, although I did hear Kevin remarking that you have put on some weight in places he approves of.”
“That’s good to know, disturbing though,” Pam laughs.
They fall into a companionable silence, and Pam finds herself thinking yet again how glad she is for Angela’s friendship, and admittedly occasionally overbearing concern.
“Not to sound like a broken record, but you really have to tell Jim,” Angela says carefully. “He’s getting married in nine days.”
Pam nods, tears suddenly filling her eyes. She knows he needs to know, and soon she won’t be able to hide her swelling belly anyway.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” Pam sighs. “I was supposed to tell him I loved him and we would be together. Really together. Not sneaking around, making what we had so dirty. And then this baby would…”
“This baby is a miracle,” Angela interrupts. “All babies are miracles. Don’t ever think of him any other way.”
“Him, huh?” Pam smiles slightly as Angela squeezes her hand. “Last week it was a girl, and this week it’s a boy? Maybe you just have boy on the brain. When do you and Dwight find out anyway?”
Angela flushes, and her hand involuntarily springs to her own rounded bump. “Next week, can you believe it?”
“Halfway there already? It’s going so quickly, isn’t it?” Pam smiles.
Two and a half months ago “Dwight and I are going to the courthouse at lunch,” Angela whispered. “Will you…will you come and be my maid of honor?”Pam actually felt herself tearing up, and immediately blamed it on pregnancy hormones. Her friendship with Angela had been to new to attribute it to anything else. So she’d gone with Dwight and Angela and Michael for the little lunchtime wedding. And despite the fact that it was a psuedo-shotgun wedding—Dwight had had a stern talking to with himself about doing right by Angela and their unborn baby—it turned out to be quite romantic. Dwight and Angela were clearly deeply in love, and they both radiated happiness. As she trailed along after Mr. and Mrs. Schrute, Pam felt a terrible ache develop around her heart. It hit her, there on the way to Hooters (courtesy of Michael), that she was grieving for what she would never be able to give her baby. Her baby. The words had still sounded foreign to her ears at that point, but in her moment of sadness a deep connection was forged to her tiny little bean, as she referred to it, and she promised to never let him or her know the sadness she felt.“We should get back,” Pam says reluctantly.
“I suppose we should,” Angela agrees.
“We have to look on the bright side,” Pam grins. “We have a hussy’s bridal shower to attend.”
Angela smiles back. “I’m sure that Meredith has planned something appropriately vile for her.”
Pam laughs. “I heard her talking to Andy about serenading Karen.”
They giggle, and stand to leave. “Pam,” Angela says as they near the door. “You have to tell Jim.”
Automatically readjusting her shirt, Pam nods, suddenly very serious. “I know,” she says quietly. “Just not today. Today isn’t the day.”