Spring 2007

APRIL

It’s a Monday in the middle of April and she’s trying not to look at him.

It drives her crazy that he’s impossible to stay mad at.

He keeps looking up at her and she sets her mouth in a firm line, turning her face away or ducking her head.

She’s five seconds away from smiling back at him.

Every single time.

She takes a deep breath and attempts to hold onto her anger again.

This thing between them certainly didn’t start easily and when they finally gave in it wasn’t smooth sailing. There were so many things that were different.

Pam found she liked having her own place, but that didn’t mean she didn’t like having someone to come home to. She liked being able to use frilly fabrics to decorate her bedroom and loved that she could keep a vase of fresh flowers on the coffee table.

Roy had always told her he was allergic.

She took another deep breath and tried to keep hold of her annoyance. It was useless because she kept thinking of him.

That first night they’d followed the tow truck back. She kept looking at him sideways still not believing what had just happened, happened.

“What?” He turned to her, smirking.

“Nothing.” She shrugged, smiling widely.

He gave her a quick glance and then moved his eyes back towards the road. “What?” He said again.

She shrugged and grinned wider. “It’s just that…you’re adorable.”

“Oh please tell me you’re not going to do this.” He pleaded.

“What?” She laughed back at him.

“Beesly, as I've said we’ve got some stuff to work out here.” He said authoritatively. “There are going to be ground rules. Rule one, despite my ‘adorableness’ you will not turn into a squealing teenager. Rule two; you will not post my picture in your locker or pass notes to Kelly in the hall during office hours. Rule three, you will cease and desist all signs of excessive girliness, pronto.”

“Well Jim. Rule three might be difficult. After all - I am a girl.” She said matter-of-factly.

He was well aware of that fact. He flexed his hands on the steering wheel remembering just how like a girl she’d felt under them just minutes before.

“Obviously.” He glared at her. "Pam. Stop. You know what I mean."

She gave him a confused look as she settled back in her seat. “No. I really don’t. I think you need to explain it to me further.”

“Pam.”

“Yes Jim?” She bit back a laugh.

“You’d better watch it.” He warned her, his voice sounded like her father's when his patience was wearing thin.

“I told you. I’m not scared of you.” She said arrogantly.

He gave her a searing look that makes her skin tingle.

His voice was low and dangerous as he replied. “Are you sure about that?”

They tried to take things slowly, but it really didn’t work out too well.

The first few days were filled with marathon make out sessions that reminded Jim, not so fondly, of his high school days.

He knew that it might not be easy for her to switch gears so quickly and he really didn’t want to rush her.

Still he grumbled and grunted when he'd go home less than sated, cursing Mark when he'd chuckle at him and head off to his bedroom with his girlfriend.

Bastard.

In the end it didn’t happen because they’d planned it. One random Tuesday night they’d fallen asleep together watching movies, entwined on her couch. At some point during the night she stirred and simply lay there sprawled on top of him. She watched him intently until a few long moments later his eyes slowly opened.

“Hey.” He whispered and shifted, trying to sit up.

She wouldn’t let him move, she actually stretched out further, holding him in place. “Hi.”

Still groggy he searched her face and found an answer to an unspoken question.

And suddenly, every inch of him was wide awake.

Her hand reached up to rest on his cheek as she titled her lips to his, her eyes fluttering closed.

He needed to make sure, so he spoke softly. “Pam…”

“Yes.” She breathed, her hands threading in his hair her mouth already searching for his.

“OK.” He nodded as he met her.

“OK.” She murmured against his lips. She gasped when his hands slid up her sides, his thumbs running over the curves of her breasts. Her own hand slid up his thigh higher and higher until it reached his waist, her fingers paused over his belt buckle.

He'd have to stop this quickly if it was going to stop at all.

Her lips moved to his neck and he could feel her smiling against his skin.

“OK…”’ She said again.

It was all he needed to hear.

The next morning, giddy, she watched as he made her breakfast. And then thanked him by clearing the table so she could ravish him on it.

When they finally came up for air they had a long discussionand decided to keep things quiet at first – mostly because it was more fun to have a secret.

And ever since then it was simple. They spent nearly every night together and took separate cars to work in the morning. They spent their days striving for normalcy and the evenings easing the strain of being apart.

It was everything she'd dreamed of and so much more.

It was amazing, it was…just…right.

It was going to drive her insane if he kept doing things without asking her first.

She glances at the small jar of kisses on her desk. She’d told him, not long after that first night that he wasn’t done paying his debt yet.

She expected a real kiss for each chocolate one.

Halfway in they’d added a rule, however. Naked kisses didn’t count. Mostly because when engaging in that particular activity neither one of them had the presence of mind to keep track.

She picks up the jar and rattles it gently, frowning when she realizes she only had two left.

And she suddenly knows a way to get back at him.

She waits till she felt his eyes on her. Her gaze met his and then deliberately she shakes one of the remaining kisses into her palm.

She unwraps the chocolate slowly and then pops it in her mouth. Her eyes are defiant, her smile smug.

Then she repeats the process with the last one, placing the empty jar upturned on her desk.

His hand creeps to his heart and a pained expression fills his face.

She so didn't play fair.

The day dragged on. She still barely said two words to him. At five on the dot she grabs her raincoat and slips out the door before he's even realized it.

Now, she'd been home for nearly an hour waiting for him to arrive. She couldn't imagine where he could be. He wasn't working late - she knew that for certain. Was he mad at her now and wasn't going to come over at all?

Their first fight. Well, they'd fought before but this was their first one since being together. She can't believe it’s happened so soon.

Sniffling she sinks onto the couch, feeling dejected. Her head pops up when she hears keys jingling in the lock.

"Hi." He says softly as he walks in, head down.

"Hello." She replies primly, her temper flaring again.

"How long are we going to do this?" He sighs, throwing his bag next to the armchair across from the couch. He watches her intently as he shrugs off his jacket.

"Until you realize you were wrong." She snaps back at him.

"Well. That's going to be a long time because I don't happen to think I was." He sighs again as he wanders to her tiny kitchen and grabs a beer from the fridge. He leans against the counter as he twists off the top.

"You can't just do stuff without asking me." Her voice rises as she picks up a magazine and starts flipping through it, turning the pages with excessive force.

"OK. Agreed. But maybe I was just trying to surprise you." He counters as he walks back towards her and unfolds himself into the chair.

"Pretty expensive surprise." She mutters. Her voice is tight as she adds. "I can take care of myself you know."

He shakes his head at her. "I didn't say that you couldn't."

She can't believe he's lying, right to her face. Her cheeks flush and her eyes widen. "Oh yes. You absolutely did. That's exactly what you did when you went behind my back like that. I need to know that I can handle things on my own." Her breath is coming quicker and her hands fist in her lap.

There's resentment and a tinge of sorrow in her voice when she finishes. "I need to at least try. I didn't leave Roy just so you could swoop in and take over where he left off. I don't need you to manage me. I manage just fine by myself."

"You're not going to get an argument from me." He stares at his lap and picks at the label on his beer bottle. "I really was just trying to help you out Pam. I honestly didn't think it would be this big a deal."

"It's a lot of money. You just…you just shouldn't have." She looks at him seeming almost ashamed.

His eyes meet hers again as he leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees. His voice is soft and steady as he explains himself.

"I want you to know that what I'm about to say does not matter to me at all. I want to be clear about that. But the fact is, I make more money than you and you need a reliable car. And if I can pay to fix yours up so that I don't have to worry about you driving to Philly and back twice a week then…" He shakes his head at her. "…I'm not going to apologize for it."

Her pride had taken such a hit that his explanation had never even occurred to her. All she can remember is going to pick up the car and having them tell her the bill was already paid in full.

She had to fight back tears as she whispers. "You were worried about me?"

"Absolutely." He nodded.

"And that's why you did it?"

"That's why." He nodded again. "No ulterior motive Pam, just a purely selfish one. It's only me, trying to keep from going crazy wondering if you're stuck out on some highway late at night."

Relieved she takes a deep breath. A smile creeps across her face as she stares at him. "But if that happened you could come out and rescue me."

He wants to tell her that she's contradicting herself, that she's just told him she can manage just fine on her own. But he can't because all he can think of is that night, when she'd called him frantic and ended up telling him everything he'd been waiting three years to hear.

Instead, he returns her smile and simply says. "True enough."

She slides off the couch and half crawls toward him, settling back on her heels. Her hands come to rest on his knees as she looks deeply into his eyes. "I don't want to fight with you." She says her voice soft.

"You sure?" He asked her, lifting his eyebrows. "Because here's the thing…" He reaches out and snags her waist, pulling her closer. He likes that the way she's kneeling in front of him he can see directly into her eyes. "…if we fight then we get to kiss and make up."

She pouts and he can feel it against his lips. "Except - we're out of kisses. I ate the last two this afternoon."

He keeps his mouth pressed to hers as one hand reaches down and pulls something out of his bag. "It took me three stores but I finally found them." He says, pulling back slightly as he tosses a new bag of chocolate in the sliver of space between them.

Her eyes move to the floor then back to his. She frames his face in her hands and sighs.

If every fight would end like this they think, simultaneously, they just might argue forever.

Her eyes flutter closed and she presses herself closer.

His arms wrap around her waist and hang on tight.

"Let's start over. Double or nothing." He laughs as he kisses her senseless.