When Pam was twelve her Aunt Evelyn gave her a book on dream interpretation.  Thing was - back then - Pam didn't really dream that often, or if she did, she rarely remembered them at all.

 Still the book went with her when she packed up and moved - first to her tiny dorm room at Marywood, then years later when she got engaged and moved in with Roy.    For years it followed her wherever she went, the spine barely cracked, dust cover working overtime. 

These days, it was different.  She felt exhausted, the kind of tired that she could feel deep in her bones.  Each night she crawled into bed wearily, her limbs like lead. 

 Lately?  She dreamt all the time.  She dreamt so often she couldn't remember her last peaceful night. 

 xoxoxo

 The first dream came a just few days...after. 

 The vending machines stood upside down.  Pam's first thought was how on earth had he managed to do that? 

She smiled, completely impressed.  He and Steve must have been here really late last night.

She turned her head to congratulate him on a job well done and was shocked to see that he wasn't there at all.

 Kelly leaned over and took a sip of her paper cup, the deep red, almost fuchsia colored liquid that filled it sloshing as she gestured wildly. "And then I couldn't believe it when Tyra said, "Your eyes look dead to me in this picture.  This picture only tells me that you are sooooo not Top Model material." 

 "Wait.  Hold on...stop talking."  Pam held up a hand.

 "What?"  Kelly looked utterly confused.

 "You're not supposed to be talking."  Pam stared at her as if she couldn't believe her eyes.  "It's jinx and you're not..."

 "Jinx.  Wow. That's a great name.  I always thought it would be cool to have an x in my name but no - my name is Kelly - and it's not even really Kelly.  That's just my American name.  But when I have a baby I can name her Jinx.  Jinx is totally a Top Model name..." 

Pam's mouth twisted in disgust as she took a sip from her own cup.  "What is this we're drinking?" 

"Triple X vitamin water."  Kelly smiled.  "Ha!  There's the letter x again.  It's de-lic-ious.  But it's not really X-rated.  Although I bet Hef's girlfriends on Girl Next Door drink it...even if posing in Playboy and making porn are two different things - or so Ryan tries to get me to believe..."

 "This is all wrong."  Pam stared at the contents of her cup again.   "It shouldn't be...it should be Coke. I don't understand..." She shook her head - desperate for quiet. The usually melodic sound of Kelly's voice sounded like nothing more than nails on a chalkboard at the moment.   "Kelly.  Please stop talking.  I can't think when you keep talking like that."

 Kelly prattled on.  "Aren't you glad we're best friends now, Pam?  We can totally trade clothes and everything.  Except - no offense - but I don't know if I can see myself stealing any of your stuff.  I mean cardigans?  Really Pam? Old lady shoes?   Really!?!  No wonder he left." 

As Kelly's words hung in the air Dwight zoomed past, a blurl of floral chiffon.  Pam blinked at the sight of him wearing a white gloves and a picture hat, two strands of pearls circling his neck.   He stood at the machine and tried to insert nickel after nickel, each one falling to the ground with a clatter. 

 "What's wrong with my clothes?"  Pam looked down at what she was wearing.  Nothing looked out of sorts.

 Dwight however...

 She shook her head, knowing with even more certainty that something was terribly wrong.

 "And Kelly?  You're wrong.   We're not best friends.  You're really nice and everything but the truth is I already have a best friend."

 "No Pam.  You're wrong.  I'm all you've got."  Kelly said, her voice sounding far away.  "And that's your problem.  You need to talk more."

 Tears blurred Pam's vision.  "What?"

 Suddenly Kelly's face morphed into the one she'd been hoping to see all along. 

 "More, Pam."  Jim whispered. "Not less."

She woke with a start, eyes blinking to adjust to the lack of light, heart pounding in panic.  She took a steadying breath as she tried to figure out just where she was.

The answer stumbled in a few moments later, the scent of stale smoke and cheap beer filling the air around her. 

And all at once she realized there was simply no other option.  Pam looked up, cleared her throat and began to speak.