“Well, I’ve been back for two days now, and I’ve decided it’s time for another prank.”
Jim is sitting in the conference room with Melissa. She’s looking intently at him while he speaks, and Steve-the-camera-guy has to blink a few times to shake his feeling of déjà vu.
“And when I first suggested it, Mel here said I should put some of his stuff in Jell-O. Is this girl perfect or what?”
She beams at him, and Pam chokes on her coffee as she walks by.
At lunchtime, he’s sitting with Melissa in the break room. Pam watches them for several minutes before waltzing in and plopping down next to Jim. She smiles widely at the two of them.
“It’s Pam, right?” Melissa asks, as Pam digs through her lunch bag. She stops for a moment and glances up briefly at Jim. He’s fixated on the cup of fruit he’s eating.
“Yes,” she says, and smiles sweetly. “Melinda, is it?”
“Melissa.”
“Right.”
Pam starts eating her bag of pretzels as Ryan enters the room. He takes one look at the three of them and leaves.
“And I thought I had problems,” he says as he puts his stapler in his desk again.
“Jim and I were just discussing a prank to pull on Dwight. Have you ever pulled a prank on someone in the office?”
She stares dumbfounded at Melissa for a few moments before turning her gaze to Jim. He’s refusing to meet her eyes, focusing instead on adding as many pieces of fruit to his fork as he possibly can. She feels the anger boil up inside her. How dare he never mention her—his former partner in crime? She glares angrily at Jim. Two can play this game.
“Oh, Jim didn’t tell you?” she asks, and Jim looks up in alarm. “I hate office pranks. They’re very unprofessional.” And she makes a quick face at Jim while Melissa takes a bite of salad.
“Well, don’t tell on us!” Melissa says with a polite smile, which Pam returns before grabbing her lunch and leaving the break room.
“Don’t tell on us!” Pam mimics under her breath as the door flies open.
She blushes furiously when she sees the camera directly in front of her.
Josh approaches reception and says with a smile, “I’m expecting a fax from corporate sometime this afternoon. Could you let me know as soon as it gets here?”
“Sure.”
Josh leaves, and while he’s still within earshot, Michael calls to her, “I’m expecting a fax from corporate today too…it’s very important. Probably more important than any of the other faxes we’ll be getting so…let me know as soon as it gets here.”
Pam glances at Josh, who looks back and shrugs.
“Um…okay.”
Ryan looks up from his computer screen and over at Creed. “Stop taking my stapler,” he says suddenly, and Creed smirks at him.
“You stop taking your stapler.”
“What? Never mind, why do you keep taking it?”
“Why do you keep taking it?”
Ryan says nothing and turns back to his work. Creed folds his arms across his chest triumphantly.
“He thinks I’m just an old geezer, but let me tell you, I’m still sharp as a tack up there,” he smiles and raps twice on his head. He blinks a few times before finally saying, “I think someone’s at the door.”
Josh calls everyone into the conference room while Michael hovers behind him. Everyone stands up and Michael says, “They’re not use to your authority, let me,” he clears his throat as everyone files into the conference room and says, “Attention. I know you’re not used to Josh here, but we’re now holding a meeting in the conference room.”
Dwight is the only one still sitting at his desk, and he stands when Michael finishes his announcement.
“Is Josh my superior? Yes. At work, he is my boss. In life, Michael is my superior. And I do what he says, and what he says alone. There’s no room for two leaders. It’s not like there was Hitler and then…Hitler’s good-looking brother Carl.”
Kelly beams at the camera. “Josh is super hot. It’s like Brad Pitt, Jude Law, and Nicholas Cage all got together and had a kid.” She pauses. “I had to add Nicholas Cage in there to balance things out. I mean, he’s a good actor, but he looks like a horse. Besides, Brad Pitt plus Jude Law? Please, no one is that hot.”
“I like Josh,” Phyllis says with a smile. “He’s very sweet. And if I may say so, very cute. Those beautiful eyes. That gorgeous smile. Those rock hard muscles—” she blushes furiously. “Excuse me, I have to go find my boyfriend, Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration.”
Josh and Michael stand in front of the assembled group in the conference room. Josh takes a step forward and smiles warmly.
“Well, sorry to interrupt all that hard working,” he begins, “But I thought since we’ve all been here for a few days we could have a little meeting to get to know each other a little better—”
“It was my idea!” Michael interjects, and smiles boastfully. Dwight raises his fist triumphantly in the air.
Josh is thrown off-guard for a moment, but he quickly recovers with a smile. “Right. So to get to know me a little better, my name is Josh Porter, and I know what you’re thinking, but no, I am not related to Cole. Sorry jazz fans. Oh what, you weren’t thinking that?” He winks at everyone and they laugh warmly. “I am a thirty-five year old Scorpio who enjoys candlelit dinners, sunsets, and long walks on the beach. Kidding. That was kind of creepy, sorry. In all seriousness though, I am thirty-five, I was born and raised in Connecticut, but so far Pennsylvania seems great. Uh, I actually do enjoy sunsets—sorry. But I also like reading, baseball, and mountain biking. Any questions? No, I didn’t think so.”
The camera films the group laughing as he sits down. Michael stands alone in the front of the room. He clears his throat.
“Okay, I’m a lot more interesting than that. My name is Michael Scott, and no, I’m not related to the toilet paper guy!” He waits for laughter, but no one does except Dwight, who finally lets out a weak chuckle. “Uh, I like comedy. Improv, stand-up, you name it and I rock at it…” He trails off awkwardly. “I also like girls—women, I enjoy the company of women—no no, not like that!” He says in response to some of the disgusted looks on people’s faces. “I mean, maybe eventually like that, but I’ll buy her dinner first.”
Josh jumps up from his seat. “Thank you Michael. Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Scott.” Michael waves his hand and is met with awkward scattered applause. “Well, I think we’ve gotten to know each other well enough, um…why don’t you all just go back to what you were working on before we interrupted you.”
“Back to work, ye mongrels!”
“Michael!” Josh barks, “Can I speak to you for a moment?”
The camera tries to follow Michael and Josh into Michael’s office, but Josh slams the door in Steve’s face. Steve shakes it off and hurries over to the window.
“Michael, I don’t even know where to start. That was incredibly inappropriate, not to mention unprofessional—”
“Looks like somebody’s feeling threatened…”
Josh takes a deep breath, “No, no I’m not. I’m simply requesting that you treat your employees with a little more respect.”
“Respect? Respect? I know what respect is. Do you want me to spell it out for you? R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Okay Josh, find out what it means to me—”
“Michael, don’t.”
“Just a little bit—”
“Michael!”
“Somebody has their panties in a bunch.”
Josh clenches his teeth and says angrily. “Michael, I’m going to ask you stop, and I’m going to ask that you treat your employees more respectfully, and now I’m going to leave…”
Michael smiles triumphantly, and sits down in his chair, leaning back and propping his feet up on the desk.
“…And if you refuse to comply, I will file a complaint with corporate.”
Josh leaves the room as Michael falls backwards in his chair with a thump.
Dwight sits down at his desk. There’s a post-it note on his keyboard that says: I’M COMING. He snatches it off in a hurry and glances around anxiously. His gaze falls on Jim, who’s by the soda machine. Dwight squints his eyes narrowly. He’s certain that Jim’s already taken a break today. He’ll have to alert Michael. Immediately.
He knocks on Michael’s door, leaving the note forgotten on his desk.
Jim sits at his desk and stares into the distance. He feels foolish for not mentioning Pam to Melissa…ever. She hasn’t said a word to him since she stormed out of the break room at lunch, and Jim is sure she’s furious. He sighs and rubs his chin.
Of course, she has every reason to be.
He’s about to go talk to her when Melissa appears out of nowhere and plops herself against his desk. She’s smiling widely and Jim does his best to reciprocate it, but he can’t help feeling a little annoyed.
Sure, she’s a great girl. Funny, pretty, smart. Like every other girl he’s ever dated. Sometimes he has to be really careful not to call her Katy.
And it seems like every time he turns around, she’s there. He supposes he’s just not use to dating a girl he works with. Seeing her every day, every night…it’s a little exhausting. And now he’s starting to find out all her little quirks that should be endearing…annoying.
He leans back in his chair. If he positions himself just so he can pretend to be looking at her and actually be looking over her head at reception.
Which is stupid. She probably hates him.
“Jim?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you want to?”
He focuses his eyes on Melissa again. She’s staring at him expectantly.
“I’m sorry, I spaced. What’s up?”
“I asked if you wanted to stop somewhere and get some dinner.”
For some reason his eyes travel to Pam. She’s on the phone and doesn’t even look up.
“Sure,” he replies with a smile.
“You know, it’s going to take some getting used to,” Michael says with a frown.
Jim and Melissa walk out the door together. Pam hangs up the phone as soon as they’re gone, and buries her face in her hand. She looks up after a few minutes and spots the camera filming her intently.
“Josh is my equal. Can he tell me what to do? No. Will I listen to him? Yes, this time I will. For the sake of my workers. This is a big change they’re going through right now.”
She grabs her purse and heads into the elevator alone.
“But they’re going to have to get used to it sooner or later. They can’t just expect me to keep everything the same.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
