Dwight has always been one to be paranoid. When he sits down at his desk and finds another note taped to his monitor, he’s positive someone’s after him. One note was nothing. Two notes, is another matter.
I’M COMING. That’s all it says. He tries to focus on his work, but he can’t draw his attention away from the door. His imagination is going wild, wondering what will come through.
He thinks he should make a checklist. “Dammit,” he mutters to himself. The one day he leaves his emergency preparation guide at home. He’ll have to improvise.
A thought suddenly hits him. What if the perpetrator isn’t necessarily after him? What if they’re just using him to get to someone else? What if they’re after…“Michael!” he shouts in alarm as he jumps up and races to Michael’s office.
The camera pans to Melissa who is giggling behind her hand.“Jim and I are working on that prank for Dwight. We’re sending him these mysterious notes to scare him, and then, once he’s all worked up, we’re going to leave one that says like ‘go to the parking lot at five’. And waiting in the parking lot will be a doll or a teddy bear or something,” she pauses and shakes her head with a laugh, “But now he’s going to get Michael in on it…this is going to be awesome.”
Dwight throws open the door and barges into Michael’s office. Michael is looking out the window, and he turns in alarm when he hears Dwight enter.“Dammit, Dwight. You scared the crap out of me.”
Dwight rushes to the window and peers nervously outside. He pushes Michael to the floor and closes the blinds.“What’s the matter with you Dwight?” Michael asks as he stands up and brushes himself off. “You’re acting strange…even for you.”
Dwight holds a finger to his lips. “Shh. They probably have this whole place wired.”
“They who?” Michael asks, his face scrunched in confusion. “The camera guys? Obviously, they probably do.”
Dwight shakes his head and says, “We can’t talk like this. Here.” He grabs a post-it note and writes Someone is after you.Michael’s eyes widen. “What?” He asks aloud, and Dwight grits his teeth and quickly brings a finger to his lips.
I’ve received several threatening letters. You are not safe.
Michael stumbles backwards in shock before writing quickly on the post-it, Oh my god.
Jim pauses at the door. He has a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. He has never been good at breaking up. In fact, up until Katy, he usually just let the girls dump him. It was easier that way. And they almost always said the same things: you have no direction in your life…it’s like you’re thinking about someone else when you look at me…but what are your goals?He takes a deep breath and steps inside. He looks first to reception, notices that it's empty, and thinks that’s probably a bad sign.
He sets his bag down at his desk with a sigh and immediately goes to find Melissa.Ryan sits down at his desk and says, “Please, leave me alone, I’m begging you.”
Kelly is walking by and she stops in her tracks. “What? But Ryan, you said that I seriously wasn’t bothering you. For real, you said—”“Oh god,” Ryan says with a sigh. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually was talking to Creed.” Kelly smiles triumphantly and walks away.
Creed looks up with a taunting grin on his face. “Had enough of our little game, have you?”
“Game? What game?”
Creed’s smile widens.“The trick is to make them think it’s a game. That’s how you trap them. Then you can go in for the kill. And that’s how you win.”
Steve-the-camera-guy stares at him, his face twisted in confusion.“Oh my god, Jim!” Melissa practically squeals when she sees him approaching. “You will not believe—so I put out another note for Dwight, and now for some reason he thinks someone’s out for Michael, and I swear to god, right now they’re in his office plotting like…how to smuggle Michael out of Scranton. For his own safety!”
Jim smiles weakly. This wasn’t going to be easy.“Awesome. Um…can I talk to you for a minute?”
She takes his hand and he follows her into the empty break room, the door swinging shut behind them.“Okay,” he says, “I was thinking…that maybe going to see your parents this weekend is a bad idea.”
She winks at him. “Do you now?” She sidles up to him and kisses him. He can’t help but notice it’s a little…well, sloppy. His mind wanders back to kissing Pam. Perfection. Maybe that barely even begins to describe it.Her voice is low in his ear. “Do you want to stay in? We could rent some movies…or not.”
He closes his eyes in frustration and considers if it would be rude to just push her away.
“No, I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
She steps back from him. “Okay,” she says cheerfully, “I understand.”He breathes a sigh of relief.
“How’s next weekend?”
This was going to going to be a lot harder than he thought.
Pam’s not sure why she decides to stay home. Maybe it’s because the thought of facing Jim is just too much to bear. Maybe it’s because the thought of facing Jim and Melissa might just kill her. Or maybe it’s because Roy called her last night begging to meet for dinner.“No, Roy. It’s not a good idea,” she had said. He had been silent on the other end of the line.
“I understand,” he said. “But I just—I need something, okay? I can’t move on until I have something like…” his voice had trailed off as he searched for the right word.“Closure?” she offered softly, and he had been silent once again.
She’s not sure why she said yes. Maybe because he had insisted it would just be dinner and then he would leave her alone.Still. She thinks back to yesterday and has to take a deep breath. It was nothing. It had to have been nothing. He has a girlfriend. Just like before, she had been the one always having to say no. She hates that the tables are turned, hates that she’s skipping work to avoid him, hates that her apartment is so cold and empty.
She makes herself some tea. As she pours it into a mug, she examines the pot carefully. She wishes suddenly that she had the one he had given her. She sighs. The tea always tastes better coming from that pot.The safest thing, Dwight writes on the post-it, is for you to not leave my sight. Only I can protect you.
Michael scrunches his face in alarm. Absolutely not, he finally writes.But
No.Do you want to die? Or worse?
Michael considers this carefully. Fine, he writes at last. But you can’t come in when I’m using the bathroom.
“I think maybe we should take some time to…reevaluate.”
Melissa stares at Jim, her face wrinkled in confusion. “Oh okay. I’m sorry. Did you want to pick the movie we’re seeing tonight? We don’t have to see the one I picked out.”Jim runs his hand through his hair. He had tried for the last fifteen minutes to break-up with her, but for whatever reason, she wasn’t getting it.
He opens his mouth to say something, but she beats him to it. “Oh!” she exclaims and her eyes light up. “What if we have like…an army of GI Joes in the parking lot!”“Okay, Melissa, stay focused. I think I need a break.”
“What do you call this?” she asks, and rolls her eyes playfully at him.“No. I tried to be nice about this, but you’re not getting it. I think we need to break-up.”
Her face falls immediately and she takes a step back. “What?” she chokes.He sighs. “I just think it’s for the best.”
She narrows his eyes at him. “This is about that silly receptionist, isn’t it? God, do you think I’m stupid or something?”He says nothing and her anger grows. “Fine, Jim. Whatever.” She opens the door to leave, but not before shouting back at him, “You’re a jerk. You know that? I didn’t even want to leave Stamford, and you convinced me. Thanks a lot, asshole.”
She stomps past Ryan who is making a sandwich and discreetly trying to become part of the counter.When Ryan returns to his desk, he notices the cameras hovering nearby. He eyes them suspiciously as he sits down. He opens his drawer and jumps up.
Stacked neatly inside are about fifteen staplers.
"Jim and Melissa broke up." Kelly says, "I kept telling him all along, 'Jim. She's not right for you. When are you like going to come to your senses? Pam's single now, helloooo!'" She pauses, "I'm so glad he finally took my advice."
Angela frowns at the camera. "It is unprofessional to bring personal matters into work. Office romances are not to be conducted in the office. I always leave my personal life at home," her eyes widen in alarm. "I am not--that is to say, I wouldn't be in an office romance in the first place. So...very unprofessional of Jim and Melissa."
"Oh my, I adore love triangles!" Phyllis says with a grin.
Jim waits to leave for the day until he sees Melissa go out the door. She sends him a death glare, and he turns warily back to his computer. Once she’s gone, he grabs his bag and walks slowly to his car.
And as he pulls out of the parking lot he decides it’s not a big deal that Pam didn’t show up. He’ll just stop by her house. Unannounced. He's sure that has to be like...romantic or something.
Dwight walks quietly out of the building. He scans the parking lot before motioning quickly for Michael to follow. They hurry to Dwight’s car. As the pull into the street Michael says, “Wait!” and Dwight slams on his break, causing another driver to lay angrily on his horn and shout obscenities out the window.
“What?”
Michael eyes him suspiciously. “How do I know you’re not the one after me? Maybe you’re the one. Maybe you’re after—” he gasps for dramatic effect. “—my job!”Dwight quickly shakes his head and says, “Michael, you have to trust me. I have always been loyally devoted to you. This is for your own safety. Trust. Me.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Fine. To prove how devoted I am…I will give back my title of Assistant Regional Manager…” he chokes on this for a moment. “…and return to Assistant to the Regional Manager.”
Michael considers this carefully. “Agreed. Let’s go.”Dwight hangs his head dejectedly as they drive to his house.
Jim pulls to a stop just before Pam’s house. He needs a moment to collect his wits. He lowers his head to the steering wheel and takes a deep breath.When he looks up he sees Pam walking across the grass. He sees someone else walking with her, and he squints to make out who it is.
It’s Roy.
His whole world comes crashing down around him as she gets into his car and they drive off together.
