Pam finally emerged from the water, still flushed from her moment of truth-telling but starting to feel foolish. She had no idea what Jim’s response would be to the words that had tumbled from her mouth. She couldn’t even bring herself to look for him. What if he and Karen had their heads together and were laughing at her? What if they were holding hands? What if they were, oh God, kissing?
She knew one thing: There was no way that she was going to ride back to the office on the bus with Jim and Karen sharing a seat, whispering about her outburst into each other’s ears. She was working on being more courageous, but that was too big a stretch for one day. So she called a friend from her art class and asked if she’d mind driving to the lake to pick her up. Thankfully Allison had been home and had been willing.
Then she tracked down Phyllis, trying not to make eye contact with the rest of the group, and told her that she’d be staying behind while everyone else got on the bus, including a possibly hypothermic Andy, who’d been fished from the water when she noticed him bobbing along as she was cooling her heels.
Phyllis, bless her, understood. She gave Pam a quick hug, then slipped her a vial of pepper spray from her purse. “You never know who might be lurking out here. I don’t like the thought of you being alone and unprotected. After the flasher, I started carrying this, you know”
Pam thanked her and stuffed the canister in her pocket, then eased away from the group, back into the darkness. She purposely kept her back to the group, not wanting to watch Jim and Karen climb on the bus together.
Although she was some distance from the group as they started to board, she heard Michael promising to lead them in singing “5,000 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” Meredith asked why they had to start with such a high number, and Angela objected to singing a song that glorified the consumption of alcohol. Michael began to drown out their protests with the first chorus as the bus finally – finally! – pulled away.
Pam wandered back to the now-extinguished coal walk, marveling that her feet didn’t hurt more than they did. Still, sitting might be good.
She walked along the lakefront, looking for a bench that gave her a view of the water but that kept the road in sight so she could see Andrea pull up. Finding a likely prospect, she sat down with a sigh, then dropped her head in her hands. She didn’t know whether giggles or tears would escape if she let them. Her insides felt coiled like a Slinky.
The silence stretched out. The silvery moon was the only object casting light, and Pam wished she had a thicker jacket.
And a bodyguard. Phyllis was right; it was lonesome out here. Even in those awful days after she’d called off the wedding, Pam didn’t think she’d ever felt this alone. She started to shiver.
Checking her watch, she estimated that Allison was about 30 minutes away. She settled in to wait, and then she heard a scuffling in the sand behind her. Her heartbeat picked up. She was alone out here. The Dunder Mifflin group was the only one here today, and they were long gone.
Slowly, she snaked her hand into her pocket and grasped Phyllis’ pepper spray. As the scuffling got closer, she tensed. Courage, she thought as she jumped up and whirled around, brandishing the pepper spray like Uma Thurman wielding a katana.
“Jim!” she gasped.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Poor Pam has no idea how Jim responded to her confession.
