And all the things that I wished I had not said

She couldn’t contain the happiness that Jim had come back.

She couldn’t contain the sadness that Jim hadn’t come back for her.

In fact, as she witnessed a young, beautiful woman’s hand intimately scratch his back, she realized he’d come back with someone else. She couldn’t tell if he was happy, or not. He seemed fine, content, and most definitely over her.

As she climbed into her car, Pam wanted to bite her tongue. She remembered all those times the words escaping her lips had hurt him. Inadvertently, unintentionally, and yet irrevocably. She pushed him to take the job in Maryland on Halloween, she reminded him that swaying wasn’t dancing after their non first date, she screamed that she was fine with her choices after she’d turned down the graphic internship, she confided on the Booze Cruise that sometimes she just didn’t get Roy, she stood in the parking lot and told him that he could do whatever he wanted.

She said that they were friends and that they always would be and blamed herself for the reason that they weren’t so much more.