Kelly is spending her third (almost consecutive) Saturday night out with Jim and Pam when Andy shows up. And not just "shows up" like oh hey guys, weird seeing you here, he shows up like, wearing a tie and apologizing for being ten minutes late because of the traffic on Franklin Avenue. Who wears ties on a Saturday?

It's all she can do not to burn a hole through Pam (who's oh-so-innocently looking away) with her eyes, but she waits an appropriate beat of time, even letting the waiter take her order, before whisking Pam into the ladies' room.

"Pam. What is creep-a-zoid doing here??"

"Oh, you mean Andy?" Pam's looking kind of nervous and the bathroom is really small and there are way too many people in there to be having this kind of emergency conversation.

"Are you trying to set me up with Andy Bernard?? Ohmygod Pam, ew."

"Well, I mean, you've seemed really down since Ryan and..."

"Pam. I thought we agreed!" She crosses her arms because Pam's always always forgetting the rules of sisterhood. Kelly might even need to suggest another girl power moviefest if she keeps this up.

"Not to say his name. Right. Sorry." She's wringing her hands together and Kelly realizes that this was so totally not her idea. "Jim just thought..."

"I knew it!"

"Knew what?"

"Pam, just because you and Jim are all together or whatever doesn't mean that I'm like the Orphan Annie of the office and need you to set me up."

"Why would I want to set up Orphan Annie? That makes no-"

"Please, Pam. You know what I mean, okay? I have a life, I can meet guys on my own." She wants to put her purse on the counter so that she can dig around for her lipstick, but there are puddles of disgusting water all over the thing so she probably shouldn't risk it.

"Kelly, I'm sorry... I was just..." Pam actually looks like she just swallowed a really big bug, she's that upset.

"Ohmygod-I'msuchabitch!" Kelly gasps suddenly, her hands flying to cover her mouth. "You were just being a good friend. It's not your fault that you have, like, totally horrible taste in boys."

"Oh," Pam says into Kelly's shoulder as she hugs her tightly.

"Thanks for thinking of me," she says, finally releasing Pam from her grasp.

"You girls fall in?" Andy jokes when they arrive at the table. Pam shoots her an apologetic glance, but she nods back because it's really okay. She knows how to handle douche-baggy guys like Andy. Ryan was friends with like twelve of them.

She spends the evening skillfully dodging any sort of one-on-one conversation with him, not laughing at any of his jokes, avoiding direct eye contact, and pulling out her own wallet before he even has the chance to offer to pay for her, but it all goes to shit when Jim insists that Andy drive her home since he and Pam are going in the opposite direction.

"Look at these stars, right?" He's craning over the steering wheel like he's really looking at them. "I mean, it's really-"

"If you say 'romantic' you might have to pull the car over so that I can puke."

"Well, it's a good thing that I was going to say 'bright,'" he winks at her like he's totally unfazed. Like this is nothing new to him.

When he pulls into her apartment complex he turns off the car engine and starts to reach for the door.

"Hold it, Andrew," she holds her hand up because that is it. "Let's get this clear, you and I are not on a date, okay? And you are not walking me to the door."

"Got it," he nods, clicking his seat belt back into place. "Do you like sushi? I know this great place and I was thinking maybe tomorrow-"

But she's already closing the door before he can get the words out and practically running back to her apartment. Jim is such a dick.

**

She takes her own car to the restaurant and reapplies her pomegranate lip-gloss four times before even turning the engine off.

They sit at their restaurant table (he let her pick the place so obviously she picked the one they always liked together) in a stilted sort of silence. But this isn't quiet the way he usually is quiet or the way that he always wants her to be, so finally he says say something and she just starts talking. About her trip to the mall, about how her little sister's going on a date, about how Schwarzenegger is such a tool for not pardoning Paris.

Somehow one Appletini turns into three and then there's a metal toilet paper dispenser digging into her leg as he pushes her thirty-dollar skirt up over her hips. And when she says goodbye she says it like goodnight I'll see you at work tomorrow instead of what it really is, because you don't always get to choose how things turn out in the end.

When she gets home she finds a rip in her new skirt. It's a small rip that she could easily sew, but instead she just hangs it on the back of her closet door, maybe to remind herself how broken things can be permanent sometimes.

**

Andy doesn't try to hit on her again after that first night, but somehow he manages to sort of incorporate himself into their little three-person group without anyone realizing that it was happening. But once he stops being creepy he's actually kind of okay, and sometimes he's even sort of funny. Besides, it's nice having two guys around to get boy advice from. Pam's great and all, but sometimes she seriously just doesn't have a clue.

"So?" Pam asks her when they're all four out to dinner on a Saturday.

"So...?"

"How was your closure talk last night? With Ryan?"

"Oh yeah that," she shrugs. "It was okay. He seems really stressed out about moving, but he did find my blow dryer when he was packing so that was rad. I had this awesome tilapia with crab meat and we had sex in the bathroom after. Oh! And tiramisu. Tiramisu is so fucking good right? What would you call that? It's not cake, right? It's more like cake-pudding."

Andy manages to spit his drink across the entirety of the table and a chunk of half-chewed bread falls out of Jim's open mouth and onto his napkin.

"Kelly!" Pam gasps.

"What?"

"You slept with him?"

"God no. We didn't sleep together. We had sex." Oh Pam.

"In a bathroom," Jim clarifies.

"Yeah, so? What's the big deal?" She puts a little butter on her roll because, why the hell not? It's the weekend.

"Why would you have sex with him? I thought you hated him." Pam looks seriously concerned, like her cat just committed suicide.

"I hate that guy," Andy echoes, but the last half of it kind of sounds like its just drifting out of his mouth. Like he maybe didn't mean to say it.

"Whatever, it's not like a big deal, it's just break up sex."

"What's break up sex?" Really, Pam? She needs to get a clue already. A clue and new shoes.

"When you break up but you have sex one last time. Why the hell are you all looking at me like that? That doesn't mean I'm a slut."

"Kelly, that's not a real thing."

"Yes it is! Jim, tell her."

"Jim?"

"Whoa, don't bring me into this."

"Um, hello, we totally had this conversation, Jim. Remember Katy?"

"You had break up sex with Katy?" Pam's asking him now.

"I... no, I mean... well, so what? You were in the Poconos with Roy and I was bummed, so..."

"Yeah, like you should talk, Pam. What about you and Roy? That was just like, break up sex that lasted a couple of weeks," she laughs.

"It was not!"

"Oh it totally was."

"Wait, so did you have break up sex with Karen too?"

**

"So I guess this is the first big argument, huh?" Andy asks her just as their dinners arrive.

"Whatever, me and Ryan used to fight all the time. The sex is better after." She can still see Jim and Pam arguing outside of the restaurant, but it looks pretty tame at this point. "Actually, I'm pretty sure he used to pick fights with me on purpose sometimes because of that."

"You should join my band," he says all of the sudden, but like he's been almost saying it for weeks now.

"You have a band?"

"Well, a band sans instrumentation." She stares at him. "It's... an acapella group."

"So I would what, like sing and stuff?"

"I saw you at the X-mas party. You do a mean Pat Benetar and I've been looking into doing Love is a Battlefield. Do you... accept?"

"Well..." she bites her lip, thinking for a second. "Okay. Okay - yeah!"

"You will not be disappointed. We call ourselves Pennsyl-mania," he grins at her like it is the cleverest name in the world.

"That's like, the lamest thing I've ever heard."

"Well... we've already made t-shirts, so..."

She stops and considers him for a moment. He looks kind of anxious, like he's worried she'll change her mind any second.

"What color are the t-shirts?"

"Lavender?"

"Hm," she nods approvingly. "Lavender looks really great with my skin tone. Ohmygod, do you do any Hilary Duff covers? I've got the Lizzie McGuire soundtrack in my car."

**

The first time he kisses her is while they're working out the harmonies for that theme song from Laguna Beach, and it's weird because he's kind of a loser and everything, but lately he's been kind of a cute loser so maybe that makes it kind of okay.

"This keyboard is missing like, three keys."

"I know, I got it at a yard sale. Great price."

She rolls her eyes, which is kind of her new token response to most of the things he says, because even though the things that he says inexplicably stopped annoying her a few weeks ago, he doesn't need to know that.

Can I kiss you? is his big "move," which he says from the opposite end of the couch and is totally and completely unsexy about it.

"What?? Andy, God - you're not supposed to ask the girl first, you're supposed to like swoop in and seize the moment and make her stomach all fluttery and -"

"Like that?" She's not sure how he got over here so quickly or why he thought that was an invitation, but his eyes are weirdly bright now and it seems like he's waiting on her permission to smile.

"Um, I totally did not mean that you should kiss me."

"Well... how does your stomach feel?" He asks almost like they are debating. Like he can win her over if he just proves his point or something.

"Uh, I don't know... and that's not the-"

"Kiiinda fluttery?" He's grinning now. He thinks he won.

When he kisses her a second time she kisses back. Sometimes it's okay to let someone else think they're winning, at least for now.

**

She turns him down every time he asks her to dinner, or to the movies, or offers to drive her to Philly to see that Pink concert. Andy is totally not her type, like, times a thousand. There's no way she's going on an actual date with him, but, that doesn't mean they can't hook up on his sofa.

"Wow," he breathes because he seriously hasn't learned to just shut up already when they're hooking up. "You are a really good kisser. Like, a 9.8."

"I know, right? Wait, nine-point-eight? Try - like - a twelve. You've got a lot to learn about talking to girls, Andy."

"Well, consider me your very willing pupil then," he's grinning and then he's kissing her again. He's more like an 8.7, but she can work on that.

"So that makes me your teacher?" she considers thoughtfully. "Weird."

"What's weird?" he laughs.

"Most guys I know think they know everything." She's pretty sure that by now he knows that when she says things like most guys I know she actually means Ryan. She's pretty sure he gets that.

"My lady, when it comes to you I am more than willing to admit that I know very little," he smiles and she watches him tangle his fingers with hers. "But I'd like to learn."

When she looks up at him again she knows he's not bullshitting, and that it isn't one of those I'm saying this so that we can get to it and I can go back to playing video games already looks that she's seen so many times before from someone else.

"Smooth, Bernard," she smiles and smooths a messy clump of his hair because he'll let her. "Looks like there's hope for you yet."

**

It becomes kind of their thing on the weekends. Going out to dinner with Jim and Pam, going back to his or her place to makeout and work on Pennsyl-mania (still the lamest name ever) songs. She usually avoids things like watching movies together (TV is okay) because it feels too much like a date and she doesn't want to get confused - although, to be honest, she isn't sure which one of them she is worried about confusing at this point. But tonight she let's him talk her into watching An Officer and a Gentleman because he found it on her shelf and said he really wanted inspiration for their rewrite of Up Where We Belong.

"Richard Gere like, doesn't age."

"I know, right? He's still got the same face, his hair is just gray."

"Guys have it so lucky. I never want to get all old and gross."

He looks at her like he wants to say something, but the phone rings before he has a chance.

"Want me to pause it?" he calls after her as she dashes into the kitchen.

"No, it's okay, I've seen it like a million times!" she calls back as she picks up the phone.

"Kelly?"

"Oh."

"Hey."

"W-what do you want?"

"I just wanted to see... how you were. Who were you just talking to?"

"I'm fine. I'm great. No one. How are you?"

"I'm... okay. I'm starting to think that I maybe live next door to a drug dealer or something, but other than that..."

"Sounds great. Did you need something?" She needs to get off the phone as quickly as possible because she can already feel her resolve beginning to crack just hearing his voice.

"I miss you."

"I'll call you back."

"Kel, please talk to me, I-"

She clicks the phone off and drops it unceremoniously onto the counter.

"Everything okay?" Andy leans forward when she walks back into the room a minute later.

"No one. Um, my mom. She needs... I need to talk to her."

"Not a problem, Miss Kapoor. I'll just excuse myself for the evening and... I'll see you tomorrow?" He kisses her hand like they live in a movie. Sometimes she wishes she could pretend like that. Sometimes with him she almost can.

"Yeah. Tomorrow."

Ryan doesn't apologize. He doesn't cry, or say that he loves her and that he needs her. He doesn't say much of anything actually. He offers up her taking him back as a choice - as her choice - but it doesn't exactly feel that way when she says yes.

She doesn't advertise it around the office, that they're back together, even though he told her to tell Toby since he apparently already reported to some guy named Kendall about it. Signing her name on a line is weirdly official. Official in a way she and Ryan had never been before now.

Pam only finds out because he sends flowers on her birthday. Flowers and a note that says I'm sorry I can't be there - David has me working late tonight, Ryan.

"How long have you... been back together?" Pam asks and she just shrugs and says A little while. And then her and Jim exchange one of those looks they're always giving each other and by the end of the day she's being invited out for drinks at Poor Richard's. Michael leads the "Happy birthday" but Andy's voice is the loudest.

"Kelly?" Pam slides into the stool next to her that evening when Kelly is on her third Sam Adams. She doesn't usually like beer.

"What?"

"Is everything okay? I mean I thought..."

"I'm fine, just tired," she shrugs it off.

"Can I ask... why did you get back together with him? I mean, you moved on I thought."

"He called and we talked. He missed me."

"That doesn't mean you have to get back together. Kelly, you don't owe him anything." Pam reaches to put her hand over hers and Kelly can see over her shoulder the way that Jim glances over every five seconds even though he's way at the other end of the bar, next to the jukebox.

"Look Pam, you and Jim are like this total whatever, I mean... you guys are all perfect for each other and that's great and fine and stuff. Like a fairytale."

"Kelly, we're real people, we aren't a fairytale..."

"Simba and Nala."

"What?"

"You and Jim. You're a fairytale like Simba and Nala. Or Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore."

"Wait, what? You lost me. And I'm not that much older than Jim..." Pam scrunches her forehead up and glances back at him like she knew exactly where he was the entire time. Like even when she couldn't see him, she still knew.

"What I'm saying... not everyone has that, okay? Me and Ryan are just... we're me and Ryan and that's that, okay?"

"But you could have that, Kelly, why are you settling? Kelly, you deserve-"

"Pam." She sets her beer down a little too hard and Pam jumps a little.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." she frowns. "Happy birthday, Kelly."

"Thanks Pam," she smiles at her like they didn't just have a totally serious conversation at a bar.

She starts to walk away, gravitating back towards Jim, but stops just before. "You know, I think Andy really likes you."

"I like him too," she nods. "He's my friend. I'm... I'm glad he's my friend, okay?"

"Okay," Pam nods and smiles again before walking away.

"No way are you paying for anything tonight, birthday girl," Andy beams, sliding into the stool next to her. "And no objections, capeesh?"

"You're so lame," she says, but she's laughing and he buys her another beer.

By around beer six she's laughing at just about anything he says. At one point she sways a little too precariously on her stool so he puts his hand on the small of her back to steady her and ends up keeping it there. His fingers are warm through the thin fabric of her shirt. When beer seven comes around and Andy leaves to go to the bathroom, she's starting to wonder if making out with Andy again would really constitute cheating since he's just trying to learn from her after all.

"That was quick-" she giggles when she feels someone behind her, but she's wrong about the someone.

"Happy birthday."

He's standing there in a much nicer suit, looking much older and more tired than she's ever seen him, but he's smiling and he made it, so kissing him a dozen times seems like the only way to show him how much that means to her.

"I thought you said you had to work," she's smiling and trying to wipe the lipstick off his face now.

"This meeting I've been getting ready for got moved to Monday, so, here I am," Ryan laughs. "And I need a beer."

"My treat, boss-man," Andy says, walking up behind him and patting him on the shoulder. "What's your poison?"

"As long as there's alcohol in it, I don't care," Ryan smiles, his arms snaking around her waist again.

"You got it," Andy nods, his eyes lingering on hers for just a second before he turns to the bartender.

"Ryan Howard, look at you." Pam hugs him, which he obviously thinks is weird because Pam's never hugged him before, like ever.

"You look just like Prince Charming," Pam adds, throwing Kelly a wink. Yeah, she's obviously kind of drunk. Jim's standing beside her trying not to laugh, looking at her like he's never seen anything so adorable in his entire life.

For that one night the four of them becomes the five of them. Jim gives Andy a ride home because he ends up drinking a little too heavily and Ryan holds her hand as he drives the two of them back to her apartment.

"You do look a little like Prince Charming, you know?" she giggles, practically falling into her front door.

"You are drunk," he laughs at her. He says that they should get to sleep because he's going to have to wake up really early to get back to New York in the morning, but instead they end up having sex twice.

"You're going to wake up the whole fucking neighborhood, you know that?" he laughs on the second go-around, his lips trailing their way down her stomach. But when his tongue finds her she can't really help herself. Besides, he actually likes it, that she's sure of. When he pushes inside her again she says I missed you and he finally says I'm so sorry. And maybe for Pam that wouldn't count for much, but maybe that's because from Jim she can expect more of the things that Kelly knows Ryan can't always say.

"You know how you don't get to choose?" she says sleepily as he's lying next to her, his breathing getting heavy as he falls asleep.

"Mm-hm," he nods. He might not be listening at all, but she'll still say it.

"Even if I don't get to choose, I'm still glad it's you."

"Goodnight Kel," he kisses her head. She falls asleep listening to his chest and tracing the contours of his ribs.

It was a good birthday.

**

She gets a wake-up call from Jim the next morning and she can vaguely remember Ryan getting up to go while it was still dark out. As she's running out the door she notices the envelope on her kitchen table and grabs it before settling into Jim's car with Pam and Andy, since all three of them left their cars at the bar last night.

"So, you and Ryan, huh?" Jim smirks at her in the rear-view mirror.

"Yep," she shrugs. Andy hasn't said anything yet and part of her can't stand it. She'd rather be yelled at than given the silent treatment. At least when someone yells at you, you can yell back.

"That's... great, Kelly," Pam nods like its almost sincere. The whole mood of the car is awkward and like they're all back at square one with each other. Great.

She opens the envelope in a way that no one can see and inside there are two tickets to Rent (which she's been begging him to take her to see since basically forever) and the key to his apartment.

"So..." Andy finally finally says something when they are about two minutes from the office. "Does that mean we're all going to get fired if we don't take back all the Ryan is a douche talk we've been having the past couple weeks?"

He's smiling at her. He's Andy again.

She starts laughing and then it's like it gives Jim and Pam the okay to laugh too.

Kelly lets herself look at him and he nods like he understands, which should make her feel relieved and happy and like everything is right in the whole stupid world. She can't quite place it, but instead she feels a little...sad?

Because maybe (just maybe), if she actually got to choose who she loved, she might have chosen differently.