Jim walked out of David Wallace's office, then out of the building and into the afternoon hustle-bustle of New York City. His mind was spinning and he muttered under his breath, "What the fuck did I just do?"

He knew very well what he had just done, and what he still had to do. Jim pulled his phone out of his pocket and started punching numbers as he headed down the stairs to the subway. He cleared the turnstile and joined the crowd waiting for the next train.

Jim's stomach tightened with each phone ring. He was afraid Karen wouldn't pick up and he could not begin to think of a message to leave that wouldn't sound ridiculous.

Finally, Karen answered, her voice light, "Hey, Halpert! How'd it go? Sorry you didn't get my job."

Jim laughed weakly. "Yeah, well I gave it a shot." Which was actually the truth.

Karen laughed, "We're still hanging out, come meet us."

Jim tried his best to keep his voice even, not wanting to give anything away, not yet, but also not wanting to have to go do a dog and pony show for Karen's friends. "Um, do you mind if I just meet you back at the hotel? I'm wiped."

Karen wasn't quite ready to let it go. "C'mon, Jim. It's just for a little while. It'll do you good to meet some new people." Jim's stomach was beginning to pitch. "No, I'll just meet you back at the hotel."

Jim's voice tightened as he added, "Will you be back soon?" Karen picked up on the change of tone right away. "Jim, what's up?" He tried his best to keep his voice even. "I'm just tired." Which wasn't entirely false, but he really didn't want to get into this with Karen on the phone right now. "I'll see you back at the hotel, okay?"

"All right." Karen said. "Let me just do a quick round of goodbyes and I'll be right there."

"Okay... be careful. I'll see you in a bit." Jim flicked his phone shut and got on the train.

Jim's mind wandered as the train bumped along the track. His thoughts bounced around like a pinball hitting a bumper with each jolt from the train. Pam. Karen. Scranton. New York City.

He thought if he could just say the words out loud he'd feel better. The words come out fast and under his breath, "Karen-I'm-sorry-but-I'm-going-back-to-Scranton."

There. That wasn't so difficult. The two young ladies standing next to him on the train glared at him. The girl with the Alicia Keys t-shirt and a face like a pincushion sighed, "Jeezus, why do all the hot guys have to be so fucking damaged?" Her friend just shook her head and giggled.

Why indeed? Jim smiled. He wasn't damaged. Just conflicted. The conflict arose not from his decision to stay in Scranton. Jim knew he didn't belong in New York City. He enjoyed visiting the city, and he really did appreciate the buildings, but he didn't feel a part of it the way Karen did. Jim knew down to his bones that Scranton was his home. That Pam was his home. Karen was New York City. Jim liked Karen. A lot, in fact, but he was realistic enough to know that with Karen he was just a tourist. Karen deserved to be worshipped and adored in a way that he just couldn't... with her. His conflict had to do with his understanding that no matter how carefully he told Karen his decision, she was going to be hurt, and for that he was sorry.

Jim was glad to get to the hotel before Karen. He repacked his overnight bag and waited. There was absolutely no chance that he would change his mind so he felt it was best to be prepared.

Karen returned to the hotel room to find Jim sitting on the bed, his bags sitting on the floor next to him. Her demeanor went from jovial to cranky in the space of about five seconds. "What's all this?" Karen knew the answer even before Jim started talking. "You're going back to Scranton." It was a statement, not a question.

Jim nodded. "Yes."

Karen continued, "...and I have a feeling it's not because you didn't get the job. Am I right?"

Jim sighed. This wasn't going to be easy by any means of the word. "Karen..."

Karen cut him off. "Jim, just stop."

Karen put her bag down on the dresser and sat down in the chair opposite Jim.

"Six months." Karen said softly, shaking her head. "Look, I'm not going to go all 'Fatal Attraction' on you, but I do want to say this: Quit dicking around." Karen knew she didn't want to know the answer to her next question, but couldn't help herself. She needed to know the truth, and she knew in that minute that the answer was going to change everything.

"Are you in love with Pam?"

Jim could feel his face getting hotter. Karen's direct manner was something that had really appealed to him when he first met her, but as time had gone by it was a trait that never failed to unnerve him.

Jim kept his eyes on the carpet and spoke slowly, trying to choose his words carefully. "Karen, you are a good and wonderful person and you deserve..."

Karen sighed, "Don't. Just don't."

Karen was tired. So fucking tired of this game. A game that she didn't even know she was playing until after she signed the goddamn lease agreement on an apartment that in a roundabout way her would-be rival helped her get. She snapped out of that thought and turned her attention back to Jim.

"I don't care what you think I deserve. I just want to know the truth. If I deserve anything, I at least deserve that."

"No, you're right." Jim answered. He knew this question was coming, but he still had no idea how to answer it. He looked up and saw what on Karen's face? Sadness? Resignation? Anger? Relief? He wished she would just scream at him. That would make this a lot easier. Jim knew she was right. She did deserve the truth. He had done his best to keep his feelings for Pam hidden so as not to hurt Karen, but in reality his not being honest had hurt all three of them.

"I transferred to Stamford because of Pam." Jim couldn't believe that he actually said that out loud. The last part echoed in his head, "...because of Pam. ...because of Pam."

Jim took a deep breath and continued, "I guess I've always had feelings for Pam, but since she was engaged to Roy I told myself that we were just friends. We had fun. It helped get me through the day, and there was just this thing with her." Jim shook his head. "I can't explain it."

Karen nodded, remembering the cell phone prank they pulled on Andy. She knew even then that she wasn't imagining things. That should have been a big red flag, but she let Jim explain it away as just a simple prank. She knew better and now it was all blowing up in her face.

Jim continued, "We had an obvious connection, but I thought I was just fooling myself into thinking that maybe, just maybe Pam had feelings for me. So when they set the date for their wedding I thought well, that's that. I prepared myself for moving on."

Jim tried unsuccessfully to swallow the lump that kept creeping up into this throat. "Except I couldn't, and let me tell you I tried. I tried to stay away from Pam. I even dated other women, but I just always seemed to end up in the same spot."

Jim's breathing slowed, as he got closer to the important part of the story. "I had to do something, so I put in for the transfer to Stamford. Jan made me an offer so I had to make a decision."

Jim stopped talking and looked at the floor. This was the most detail he had ever gone into with Karen about what happened with Pam, and now he wasn't sure about how to tell her the rest.

Karen looked confused, "...and?"

Jim felt his throat tighten up. "I uh, could use some water." He got up and went to the mini-fridge. "Would you like a drink?"

Karen almost smiled. She might not have known Jim for as long as Pam did, but she knew when he was stalling.

"Water would be fine." Karen said flatly, "and then I want to hear the rest of this."

Jim fished out a twelve-dollar bottle of Fiji water from the mini-bar. He poured two glasses and handed one to Karen. They drank together in heavy silence. The late afternoon sun was giving the hotel room a warm glow that neither of them was in the mood to appreciate. Sitting apart from each other, Jim wished he were drinking something stronger than water. Karen wished she'd never moved to Scranton.

Karen spoke up, "All right, Halpert. Enough stalling."

Jim took a deep breath and continued, "Where was I?"

Karen shot him a look, "You were about to be in Stamford."

Jim smiled weakly, "Right. Okay, but before that there was a fundraiser at the office park. Casino Night, they called it."

Jim stopped talking again and closed his eyes. For the last year he had done his level best to avoid thinking of that night, and now the memories came flooding back in a rush of random images in his mind's eye. Pam. Periwinkle. Pam. Smiling. Pam. Poker. Pam. Surprised. Pam. Can't? Pam. Phone. Pam. Kissing. Pam. No. Pam. Gone.

Karen watched as Jim's face gave her a preview of what she was about to hear. Her stomach flipped. She knew this wasn't going to be good, but she had to hear it. Had to know once and for all.

Jim opened his eyes and reached for his glass of water. He flipped his head back, draining the glass. Then he took a deep breath and continued.

"Okay, so on Casino Night Jan asked me if I had given any more thought to the transfer to Stamford, and I told her yes and she asked if I had told anyone, and I told her no, and she encouraged me to. I guess she wanted to see how committed I was to the transfer, which was a great question because I wasn't so sure myself. Since Pam was my best friend, I thought I'd tell her first. Roy had left earlier so it was just Pam and me. I honestly started out with the intention of telling her that I was going to transfer..." Jim trailed off again.

Karen looked confused, "You 'intended' to tell her that you were transferring? What does that mean? What did you tell her, Jim?"

Jim looked at the floor. "I told her the truth."

"And that would be?" Karen knew the answer even before the question was out of her mouth.

"I told her that I was in love with her." Jim said quietly.

"Jesus Christ." Karen exhaled. "Well, that explains a whole hell of a lot of things."

Jim leaned forward, "I'm so sorry, Karen. I should have told you that a long time ago."

Karen's face flushed, her voice strained. "Yeah, you damn well should have. For crissakes Jim, I never had a chance, did I?"

Having finally started talking, Jim now found it hard to stop. His words tumbled out in tight bunches. "I'm sorry. I just thought that I could make a fresh start in Stamford. I could put everything that happened in Scranton behind me. I wanted that so fucking much. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry. I really wanted us to work out. I needed us to work out. But..." Jim trailed off again.

"Yeah, 'but' is right." Karen got up and went to the bathroom and closed the door. She didn't cry. Not today. She'd already spent enough nights crying. She was angry and sad and disappointed, but if she was being honest with herself, she knew that Jim didn't say anything she didn't already know in her heart. Karen Filipelli is not a stupid person. She had eyes. She knew from the moment she cornered Pam in the lunchroom that her time with Jim was limited. She understood that Jim was a gift she couldn't keep because he was never completely hers to begin with.

Karen washed her hands and splashed cool water on her face. She made a decision of her own: she was staying in New York City. She'd be damned if she was going to sit in that office day after day and watch Jim and Pam together. Boyfriend drama notwithstanding, she had had a great time in the city catching up with her friends. Karen was sure she could crash at someone's place until she got on her feet, and that was what she was going to do.

She could hold her head up. She tried her best with Jim and it didn't work out -- now it was time to cut her losses and get on with her life. She patted her face dry, and went back out into the room.

Jim sat with his head in his hands, conflicted as ever. He felt terrible about hurting Karen, but he also felt a lightness that he hadn't felt in a long time. He wondered if this is what Pam felt like after the coal walk? Shit, concentrate, you inconsiderate bastard. How about not thinking about Pam until after you're done breaking up with your girlfriend?

Karen's reappearance snapped Jim back into the situation. "Okay," Karen said matter-of-factly, "This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to stay in the city for the weekend. I can crash with one of my friends and I'll get the rest of it figured out later."

"Oh," Jim said, "...if you're staying, then you can have the room if you want. It's already paid up for the weekend and uh I'm..."

Karen cut in, "Going back to Scranton." She was all business now. "Yeah, okay that's fine. I'll stay here then, and I'll get a ride back with one of my friends, or I'll just take the train. You're off the hook, Halpert."

Jim sure didn't feel off the hook. "You okay?" He looked at Karen trying to read her, something he was never very good at.

"Yes, I'll be fine." Karen said evenly. There was nothing more to talk about, and now she just wanted Jim gone. "If you want to beat rush hour traffic, you better get out of here."

"Yeah, I should get going." Jim said. He stood up and gathered his bags. He handed Karen the other hotel room key. "So, that stuff at my place..." Karen knew that Jim was talking about the overnight supplies that she left at his apartment. "I'll bring that stuff over to your place, if you like."

"Don't worry about it." Karen said. She was losing the battle of not frowning. "Just toss it. I have all that stuff at home anyway."

"Okay. Will do." Jim said as he made his way toward the door. He felt awkward now, and he wasn't sure what he should do, so he just kept it simple. "I'm so sorry, Karen."

Karen walked over to Jim and put her arms around his shoulders. "I know. Me too. Just shitty timing."

Jim put his bag down and pulled Karen into his chest. "You deserve a lot better."

Karen smiled weakly, "Yeah, I know."

They chuckled together quietly for a moment, then Jim grabbed his bag and left.