She had always looked cute when she smiled. The times she abandoned her usual tight lipped grin and actually showed her teeth, she looked downright beautiful. But during their six months together, it had always been the moments he could make her lose control and laugh hysterically that he treasured the most, because she had such an adorably dorky way of laughing. Her eyes and mouth would pop wide open, she'd lose control of her breathing, and she'd inevitably cover her mouth with her hand to try to maintain some propriety. He missed that.

As soon as Ryan had hit the door, the entire staff had raced to Michael's office or the conference room to watch the comedic gold unfold in the parking lot below. By chance Jim, with a smiling Pam nestled discretely under his left arm, found himself in the human pile crowded in Michael's office with Karen to his right, wedged between Michael and Andy. As funny as the aftermath of his handiwork was, however, he couldn't resist peeking over at Karen and enjoying her hysterical laughter. In one instant she caught him and flinched her gaze over to meet his. Maybe it was simply inertia, but for the first time since he had left her, the rare eye contact between them didn't chase the smile from her face. He thought he even picked up a knowing little nod. For the shortest of moments, she was free of anger and he was free of guilt, and they stood united by the presence of a common enemy. Karen turned her attention back to the scene below, and Jim followed suit.

"Think we should help him?" Michael sounded insincere through his unabashed laughter.

Jim pulled Pam against him even more tightly and leaned back contentedly.

"Not right now, but ask me again five years ago."

...................

After several unsuccessful attempts to pry it off by the base, Ryan was now grabbing the obscene rubber protrusion with both hands. With his feet braced against the front bumper, he pulled that stubborn rubber phallus as hard as he could. His hands immediately lost traction and he lurched off the bumper. Whatever soon-to-be-dead fuckhead had done this had actually lubed the abomination up to make it harder to remove.

"Hey... Try biting it!"

He angrily wheeled around to see Daryl and Lonny doubled over against Daryl's truck, laughing so hard they were barely able to remain on their feet even with the truck's support. Daryl had his camera phone opened in his hand. He nearly cursed angrily at them but his fear of black guys ended up winning out. He looked up and to his horror the fourth floor windows were filled with faces. This was it. A line had been crossed. He was their superior, and they insisted on treating him like a laughing stock. The minions wanted play rough. It was time to kick some ass, consequences be damned. His anger got the best of him and he punched the dildo one last time. He realized his mistake immediately as Daryl and Lonny redoubled their laughter at the sight of his new hood ornament wagging mockingly back at him. Lonny was completely doubled over now, howling through his laughter.

"Yeeeee-OUCH!"

FUCK! He stormed back into the lobby, making sure not to make eye contact with the warehouse guys along the way. He'd find a way to fire them later. He had a sweet time imagining how much laughing those bastards would be doing while they waited in the unemployment line. He'd probably send Hunter to do the actual firings. You never could be too careful with blue collar guys, after all.

Ryan stormed into the office, made a shallow left turn and fired his angry words into the teeming mass of his inferiors.

"Everybody get out here NOW!" Everyone was already there, except for Michael, Toby and Kelly, and he really didn't care to see any of them, but he just needed to yell something. He hadn't figured on the uncomfortable delay while the rest of the group actually assembled. The silence was burning as he stood there looking them over, the hatred in his eyes undoubtedly blatantly clear. Dwight the bastard had stood up and was standing with his arms akimbo, no doubt to remind Ryan that he was a physically bigger man. Jim the idiot turned around slowly with that signature casual, I-don't-give-a-shit-about-anything attitude that Ryan so despised. Karen the bitch was sitting parallel to her desk, leaning back easily in her chair... her feet propped casually on the guest chair that she had taken from Ryan earlier.

It was Karen who broke the awkward silence. The dismissive air with which she spoke annoyed him even before he could process her words. You don't speak to your boss' boss with such a casual attitude. You just don't. If he never saw her again it would be too soon.

"New job's quite a handful, eh boss?"

Ryan could barely react before that slacker prick Jim chimed in.

"Well at least nobody's going to call you 'fire-guy' anymore."

Stanley rose to his feet, glaring, gently knocking his clenched fists together. Andy was also on his feet, squinting and grinning uncontrollably, his arm draped gently over... Kelly ? He hadn't seen her slide into the room, and as much as he had prepared himself for this moment, hearing her voice startled him.

"Oh hello Ryan. I didn't see you there." The casual tone of her voice was so affected it fooled nobody, except maybe herself.

"Kelly." He forced himself to be polite for the first time all day. She knew things... she knew way too much. And this was a very public place and that had never stopped her before... He had to move on. He could deal with her later. Ryan stood as tall as he could and addressed the room.

"Whoever is responsible for vandalizing my vehicle, it's in your best interest to step forward now."

He suspected Jim. It had to be Jim. And if it wasn't, he never really liked Jim anyways, so oh well.

He knew there was no way in hell anyone would confess. He was only asking to set the stage for his next move. The feeble minded peons were about to learn a little about higher-order thinking. He was Ryan Fuckin' Howard after all. Ryan Fuckin' Howard, MBA, and he never thought just one move ahead. Order would be established. Payback would be had. All in one, brilliant move. He waited about ten seconds for effect. Payback time. He didn't even turn his head to make eye contact. He was looking at Jim the whole time.

"Pam, you're fired."

Checkmate. Jim looked floored. Ryan savored the stunned silence coming from his former co-workers. His main targets were safe for the time being. That had been a truly unwelcome development. But now they could all get a taste of what was coming. He had to get out of there before the worms had time to regroup. He smirked a bit at Jim, and then turned left 180 degrees, so as to avoid seeing Pam, and headed for the door. He would have made it if Michael hadn't been standing behind him, blocking his retreat.

He knew that a showdown was brewing with Michael. Michael had admittedly won round one in convincing fashion, but Ryan was too fucking good not to win out in the end. This was a fight that had to be deferred, however, to allow him time to level the playing field. The look in the man's eyes, however, made it perfectly clear that he wasn't going to cooperate. The showdown would have to happen now. On Michael's home turf. In front of everyone.

"Get out of the way, Michael, go back to your office and I'll call you in the morning."

Michael didn't escalate the argument as Ryan had expected. If anything he looked disappointed. A little sad even. Such a strange, strange look, boring into him.

And then Ryan figured the man out.

The full weight of Michael's counter-attack became apparent to him just before it arrived. The man was disappointed because he had failed... and he was staring his failure right in the face. Ryan was his failure. In his own flailing, incompetent manner, Michael had tried to shape him, to teach him... and he had failed. Ryan was witnessing the very instant where Michael had finally stopped believing in him. His self-appointed mentor role was finally forever behind him, the faith in Ryan that had sustained itself through two sales-free years finally evaporated. Michael was about to exercise the only option he had left. It was time to kill... Time to kill the wayward son.

"The only person who needs to worry about their job is you, Ryan..."

His hatred of this man aside, the death blow was brilliant.

"You know what I could use right now... a nice cup of coffee."

Submit now, give up on ever establishing his rightful position, admit defeat, and possibly salvage his new job, or go to war with a man he now knew he could never beat. Damn you, Michael Scott. Damn you to hell.

It started quietly with Karen, and was picked up quickly by Dwight, and by the time he had made it to the kitchen, it had reached a roar. The words burned his very soul as he poured the coffee.

"Mi-CHAEL, Mi-CHAEL, Mi-CHAEL..."