For the rest of that week, Jim noted that Pam’s appearance never improved. She literally looked ill and her eyes continuously looked puffy despite her usage of makeup to cover it up.

Every attempt he made to talk to her went badly. All of his calls went unanswered and she never seemed to be at home whenever he went over. Is she parking somewhere else to hide the fact that she’s really home? He wondered to himself as he knocked for the tenth time that night. Yet once again, defeated, he made the lonely walk back to his car.

That Friday, Jim couldn’t take it anymore. He was beginning to not comprehend why something that they should be able to get past was keeping them from being together. So I went out with Pam while I was still with Karen, she’s gone now! He argued with himself but deep down, he knew he had hurt her, a lot. He had made her feel cheap, like a home wrecker, the other woman.  He also knew that her parent’s had gotten a divorced when her father got caught cheating on her mother. When Pam’s mom caught her husband in bed with another woman, she ended things right then and there.

“You are such an asshole.” He muttered to himself at his desk, kicking himself for putting her in that situation, not realizing that his hastiness was actually stupidity, and it would cost him everything.

Dwight swiveled around in his chair to fully look at him. “Excuse me? Did you just use an expletive at work, Jim? You realize that it is against company policy to use offensive language while you are on company property.”

Instead of beginning another round of shenanigans with him, Jim just said “sorry” and turned away. He quickly stole a glance at Pam who was talking on the phone. Then he began a staring contest with his clock, willing it to go faster. It’s only 4:42pm. He sighed.

“Uh… Pam, can I see you in my office, please.” Michael came out of his office to ask. This unnerved Jim a little bit. Michael had asked Pam in a nice, normal way. No unfunny nickname like “Pamalicious”, or “Pamtastic”, or “Pammy Whammy”, which was his current favorite, was used.

Jim peered through the blinds to watch them. He could tell by his face that Michael was saying something heartfelt. Pam continuously nodded and gave an occasional smile. This was the first time he’d seen her smile in weeks. Then something very odd occurred. Michael gave Pam a hug. He saw Pam’s eyes squeeze shut as she tightened her grip around him. Clearly this hug meant something. Why are they so emotional? His mind raced.

By the time they emerged, many of the office inhabitants had either gone home already for the weekend or were packing up there things in preparation to leave. After shutting off his computer, Jim stuffed a few pieces of paper in his messenger bag before slinging it over his shoulder. He took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly.

“Hey” He tried a weak smile on her.

She reciprocated with the same small smile. “Hi.”

“I know I sound like a broken record… but do you think we could sit down and talk sometime…anytime? Right now, tonight, 4am, I don’t really care. Please Pam, I just want to talk to you.” He hesitated for a moment. “I miss you.”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe… I can work with a maybe.” He smiled, she did not, but rather she looked down and busied herself, putting the papers on her desk into a neat pile.

“So what did Michael want with you in his office?”

“Oh… um… you know, Jan stuff. He wanted some advice, like always.” Her eyes glanced everywhere but straight into his.

“Have a good weekend.”

“Yeah, you too. Seriously Pam, please call me whenever you want, or come over, hell, you can even send a smoke signal. I just would really like to talk with you. Please consider it.” When she nodded, he flung his jacket over his shoulder and walked out. He didn’t see that Pam watched his every step as he left, almost as if she were memorizing his movements, nor did he see the warm tears that spilt out onto her cheeks after he left.

“Pam, are you ok?” Michael asked on his way out the door. He had apparently seen her crying.

“No, I’m ok. Just last day sadness, that’s all.”

He handed her a tissue. “Ok, well think about what I said. If you need anything, anything at all, references, a friend to talk too… you know how to contact me.”

“Thanks Michael.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without you here as a receptionist. I’m going to hate the next one.”

“Oh I’m sure you’ll get along great with whoever it is.” She said, calming down.

“No really, I am going to hate the next one. Toby is going to replace you until I can find a new hire for the job. Talk about motivation to do interviews.” When he heard her laugh, he knew his goal was accomplished. And for a second time in her life, Pam was genuinely stunned with how great of a guy Michael was. First when he came to her art show and now in this moment.

When Michael left, Pam was alone in the office. She wanted to be last because she wanted to pack up her stuff without anyone nosing around, asking questions. Nobody knew she was leaving except Michael and Toby. She knew some people, like Kelly and Phyllis, would be upset and probably sad that she never said goodbye, but she didn’t want to risk Jim finding out that she was leaving before she actually did. If he knew beforehand, he would undoubtedly try to stop her. If that happened she might not have the courage to do this: to move on, without him. Her heart screamed at her to stop, that she was making the wrong decision. But her head told her that she needed to get away, needed to face this new phase in her life without him. She was still reeling from a broken heart and didn’t want to hurt Jim any further. In her head, she believed this was the right decision. But her heart was breaking for a whole different reason.  

When Jim came into the office that Monday, he pinched himself because he didn’t believe what he saw. The reception desk was void of all of Pam’s stuff, and Pam! In its place was Toby. “Dunder Mifflin, this is Toby.” That’s not right, that’s not how it’s supposed to sound. Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. That is what he was supposed to be hearing.

He dropped his stuff off at his desk and barged into Michael’s office. “Where’s Pam? Is she sick? Why is all of her stuff gone? I don’t understand.”

Michael glanced at the door before motioning for Jim to close it. He saw Dwight frown as his access to eavesdropping quickly closed. “Pam is no longer an employee here at Dunder Mifflin.”

“What? Did you fire her? What happened?”

He sighed before continuing. “No I didn’t fire her.” Stating it matter-of-factly. “She gave me her notice about a week ago. Hence the reason friggin’ Toby is out there answering the phones, I haven’t had time yet to hire a new receptionist.”

“Michael, I don’t care about Toby. What happened to Pam?”

“She left! Plain and simple.” Throwing his hands up in a shrug, he continued “She didn’t tell me why. I figured she had told you, I’m sorry Jim.”

“Thanks.” Jim said, his voice full of sadness and hurt. He got up and walked out of the room.

“If you know anyone that’s looking for a receptionist job, let me know!” He heard Michael yell from his office.

Without notice, he grabbed his stuff. “I’m taking a sick day.” He told Dwight. Not waiting for a response, he headed out of the office.

He drove straight to Pam’s apartment. All the lights were off inside and there was as letter half tucked underneath the ‘Welcome’ mat. It was labeled ‘Landlord’. Jim picked it up and could feel that it was a key wrapped in a tissue for secrecy. He took the key out and opened her door.

His heart stopped at what he saw and he silently prayed that his eyes were betraying him. The place was empty. No furniture, no knick knacks, not even silverware could be found. Every room was completely vacant, mirroring the feeling in his empty heart. She had moved and didn’t tell him. She left him without so much as a warning. He honestly didn’t know whether to break down into tears or punch a brick wall. He chose the latter, causing his knuckles on his right hand to bleed slightly.

Six years passed and still the last moment Jim saw Pam’s face was that Friday when she gave him the hope that “maybe” they could work things out.

Liar, he thinks bitterly as he remembers that day.

Things at Dunder Mifflin have stayed relatively the same. Phyllis retired a year ago, not having to work with Bob Vance taking care of her. Dwight and Angela were engaged, which they unofficially announced six months ago when she walked in with a beet-shaped diamond on her finger. And Michael was still the same old Michael, except he had a few grey hairs now on his head.

Jim had stayed at his same job. He was getting a decent salary and was making an impressive number of sales. However, when there isn’t much work to do, his mind always wanders to the same person.

He often thinks of Pam and what she’s doing. For the first two years he hoped that she would contact him. Everyday he checked his e-mails and voice messages with a glimmer of anticipation. He hoped for any kind of message that would apologize for leaving, for overreacting, for something, but nothing ever came. It took him all those years to realize she wasn’t contacting him. Clearly she wanted nothing to do with him.

“Hey Jim.” Toby said, knocking Jim out of his memories.

Jim shifted in his chair to face him, “Oh hey Toby, what can I do for you?”

“I was just wondering if you were planning on taking your two weeks vacation that you haven’t used yet or if you prefer to get paid for it instead? You see the quarter is coming to an end and all your vacation days will be renewed next month, so I was just wondering how you wanted me to handle it…”

“I’ll just take the money, thanks.” Toby nodded and headed back to his desk.

After he left, Jim opened up the bottom drawer of his desk and took out a picture of Pam. The edges had crumbled a bit from being handled so much, but her smile still shined brightly at Jim who couldn’t help but smile himself when he saw it. It was his favorite picture that he had taken on his new digital camera about eight years ago during one of Dunder Mifflin’s annual outings.

At times like this, it’s still difficult for Jim to believe that he has gone the past six years without her. Despite all the time that has passed, he still misses her so much he literally aches inside.

However, looking at this picture on this day something finally clicked in his head. He got up out of his chair and headed to the other side of the office where Toby sat.

“Hey” he said casually.

“Hey Toby, listen, I changed my mind, I’d like to take my vacation days and use them.”

“Ok, great. You sound like you’re a man with a plan.”

Jim smiled. “Oh, I am.”

“Where you headed? If you don’t mind me asking that is.” Toby inquired.

Jim paused for a moment before nodding his head. “Boston. I’m going to Boston.”