"No! No! No!" Dwight hollered as Michael fumbled with the handle, kicking the little ball into Jim and Pam's goal.

"Thanks, Michael," Jim noted calmly, moving a third little disc to one side, indicating the score.

"That was... not... intended," Michael mumbled as he took the ball out of the reservoir and put it through the hole on his side of the table.

The game continued for a short while before Michael called out, "FOUL! Personal Foul!"

"What?" Jim asked, looking to Michael curiously.

"The--your man kicked my man," Michael complained.

"Michael, that's not even a rule," Phyllis offered calmly. "Dwight said there are no personal fouls."

Dwight shook his head. "That is correct, Michael. No personal fouls in foosball. But now we'll have to serve again because of the interruption."

Just as they had begun to play again, Kelly entered the conference room. "Michael, you have a phone call."

"I'm very busy, Kelly," Michael said distractedly. "Damn it!" he shouted, hitting the table as Pam scored a goal. "Tell whoever it is that I'm in a meeting."

"Umm, it's the CEO," she replied uneasily. "But I can tell him you're too busy playing foosball to--"

"No, no, I'm coming," Michael said. As he exited the conference room, he pointed at Andy. "Andy, take my place."

"Alright!" Andy enthused, jumping to his feet and jogging into the conference room. "So where am I?"

"Right here," Dwight gestured, indicating which handles were Michael's.

"Get ready to cry to yo' mama, Tuna," Andy said to Jim. He looked to one of the score posts. "Alright, Dwight! We only need one more shot!"

"Uh, that's actually our score," Jim corrected. "You guys need four."

"Oh," Andy replied as he dropped the ball through the hole. The game continued.

"Shoot, now, Bernard!" Dwight ordered. "No! you're shooting the wrong way! Not to Jim! Yes, yes! Shoot it in!" Pam's goalie blocked the shot and sent the ball across the table. "Damn it, Bernard!"

Jim passed the ball from his 3-man row straight into the goal. He looked to Pam and smiled. "So who's next?"

Dwight and Andy both looked at Pam and Jim, dejected. "I'll... get the next two players."

"Hey, I didn't get a full game--can I be next?"

"Sure, Andy," Jim told him.

"No," Dwight replied. "He took Michael's place, and therefore, he used his turn making Michael's team LOSE. Thus, he is not eligible to play again."

"Okay," Andy said slowly, trying to keep himself calm. "I'll just... go... get a soda then. Can I get anything for anyone?"

"I'll have a Coke," Pam told him.

Andy nodded and walked out, heading for the break room.

Dwight stood just outside the conference room door. "Kevin, Creed--you're up!" He then turned inside and looked to Phyllis. "Since I am no longer playing I can serve as referee now. You are dismissed."

"But I--"

"Goodbye, Phyllis."

Phyllis hung her head and walked out as Kevin and Creed walked in. Dwight closed the door behind them.

***

Jim opened the door of the conference room and started for his desk. "Kevin and Creed--whod've thought?"

"Ladies--you will now begin your tournament," Dwight announced. "Since Pam already had her turn, it will be Phyllis and Kelly."

"Who will be the other team?" Phyllis wondered.

Dwight's eyes darted from one side of the room to the other. "Karen and Angela."

"They're not playing," Kelly stated.

Dwight pursed his lips. "They must play. We have no other alternatives."

Angela didn't even bother to stand and peek her head over the divider. "I am NOT playing."

"Yeah, I have a lot of work to do," Karen said, shaking her head.

"Fine. Then you will play... Oscar and Andy. They are nearly equivalent to women, anyhow."

"Excuse me?" the both asked, almost in unison.

"Dwight, just because I'm gay doesn't mean I want to be a woman--that's transgendered."

Dwight raised his eyebrows. "Well, Michael said we would have a transgendered tournament. You wore a dress once, so you're close enough. And Andy was only a replacement, so he can play to."

"Where's Michael?" Oscar asked, walking to Michael's office. He opened the door to Michael still on the phone with the CEO.

"I understand... Yes, but--" Michael glanced up at Oscar and held up his index finger, signaling Oscar to wait just a minute. "No, I was not aware that he--yes, of course. No, I would never have said that if I knew he was of Jewish desent.... Of course, a written apology for... bad humor? No, David, it was a great joke! It wasn't bad at all!... Oh, you mean bad as in... like, tough. Like... like a professional comic. Right, well, it's close enough, right?... Ok... Ok... Yes, sir, I will. Okay. Thank you, sir, for your kindness and understanding... Yes, I agree... Thank you." He hugn up the phone and closed his eyes tight, putting his hand to the bridge of his nose. "What is it, Oscar?"

"Dwight called me a woman," Oscar complained.

"Well, you did wear a dress once," Michael began.

"Michael--"

"And you are attracted to men, so..."

The arguing could be heard even in the break room, where Pam andJim were sharing a bag of chips and finishing the Coke that Andy had brought for Pam.

"Wow," Pam commented. "That is... unbelievable. I can't believe Dwight said that!"

"It just shows that he's been around Michael for way too long," Jim commented. Jim then smiled.

"What are you planning?"

"I can't smile?" Jim asked defensively. "Maybe I'm just smiling because I'm enjoying spending time with my girlfriend."

"No, I know that smile, Halpert--you're planning something. And you better tell me what it is."

"Or what?" Jim challenged.

Pam raised her eyebrows at him, conveying exactly what she would take from him if he didn't tell her.

"You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I?"

"You're only saying that because you know I'll tell you anyways," Jim reasoned.

Pam shrugged.

"You're tough, Beesly. Alright, here's the plan..."