Today’s the day. Pam couldn’t think of anything else that morning. Even when she was making breakfast for Roy, there was only one person on her mind, and it wasn’t her husband.

She told Roy to go in to work without her. She said she needed to stop and pick up some things for Michael’s special “Integration Celebration” he was hosting for the new employees. The truth was, she had bought everything she needed the night before. The truth was, she wanted to make herself look special for the day. For him.

As she dried her hair and swept it into thick, loose curls, Pam’s stomach churned. A mixture of excitement, anxiety, fear, and guilt overcame her. She put on light makeup and generously sprayed her favorite perfume on her wrists, her neck, even in her hair. She tried to convince herself that she was doing all this just for an old friend, and nothing more. She tried, but failed.

Pam sat at her desk the entire morning, greeting the unfamiliar faces from Stamford. She watched as an eccentric man zealously introduced himself to Michael as Andy Bernard. Shortly afterwards, a beautiful dark-haired woman walked through the doors and up to reception. Her name was Karen, and as the two women shook hands, Pam couldn’t shake the unsettling thought that crept into her mind: If all the women in Stamford look like Karen, there’s no way Jim still has feelings for me.

And then he was there. Pam couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across her face. Her legs slightly shook as she stood up and walked, almost skipped, toward him. Before she realized what she was doing, her arms were wrapped around Jim’s neck in a tight embrace. Pam painfully noticed that he only half-heartedly hugged her back, and when they slowly broke away, she glanced up at his face to see his eyes closed and his lips in a slight smile.

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Pam had the courage to speak.

“Hey, Jim.” She was aware of how lame it must’ve sounded, but she was afraid her voice would break if she said any more.

For the first time in years, Pam was unable to read his expression. Then, his face broke out in a genuine smile as he replied, “Hey, Pam.”

He looked down at her hands, his eyes resting on a certain finger, glittering with a white-gold ring on it. His smile faltered for only a moment, and he looked her square in the eyes for the first time since his return.

“I, um, believe congratulations are in order.” Pam was both disappointed and relieved to see that he was still smiling and to hear that his voice sounded normal.

She didn’t have the chance to respond, which was a good thing. His statement had caught her completely off-guard, and for some reason she couldn’t put her finger on, it had made her heart beat faster. Michael had finished showing the rest of the transferees to their desks and couldn’t hide his enthusiasm at seeing Jim again.

“Jim!” It was somewhere between a scream and a squeal. “Hey, Michael.” Jim smiled and held out his hand. Michael seemed almost offended by the gesture. He pulled Jim close to him and hugged him even tighter than Pam had.

Pam laughed as Jim made one of his signature “this-is-awkward” faces, and at that moment, Pam felt extremely grateful that he was back. Maybe things could be like before. What was she worried about? She felt happier than she had in months.

A little while after everyone had settled in, Michael called all the employees, new and old, into the conference room. Pam sat down next to Dwight, making sure there was an empty seat on the other side of her for Jim. She unconsciously smiled when he walked in the room and waited for him to come over.

But he didn’t. He flashed a subdued smile at her when he entered, but walked right past her and the empty seat. Pam immediately looked down at her feet, hoping that Jim couldn’t sense her disappointment. Finally she had the courage to look up at him. He was sitting next to the gorgeous Karen.

Pam felt sick to her stomach as she watched them whisper and silently giggle. Pam recalled the days when it was she who would make Jim giggle like that. When it was she who would entertain him during the unbearable office meetings.

Pam was insanely jealous, but more prominent than the jealousy was her sadness. They were no longer best friends. Karen had taken her place as Jim’s best friend. Maybe they were even more than that. Pam knew she had no right to be jealous. After all, she was married! Still, she felt tears build up and could hardly pay attention to anything that Michael said.

She didn’t know how long the meeting lasted. After what felt like hours, she noticed people filing out, and she almost jumped out of her seat, determined to leave before Jim saw her face.

It was past five. The work day was over, and one by one the office was emptying. Pam was putting on her jacket when she noticed Jim was at his desk, looking at her. She gave a faint smile and turned to leave when his voice stopped her. “Pam? If you can wait a minute, I’ll walk out with you.”

Pam’s stomach lurched as she nodded a little too vehemently. Jim packed up his things, pulled on his messenger bag and grabbed his jacket. Pam headed toward the elevator, but Jim jerked his head towards the entrance doors. “Let’s take the stairs instead.” Pam smiled and followed him. Anything that would give them more time together was fine by her.

“So, how was your first day back?” Pam figured this was a safe question to start their conversation with, although she couldn’t stop thinking about the camaraderie she witnessed between Jim and Karen. How could it have been a bad day for him?

“Pretty good, actually. You have no idea how different the Stamford branch was. All up-tight and serious. All though I must say I got a lot more work done there without all the distractions.”

Pam’s smile faded. Was that all I was? A distraction? Jim seemed to sense her reaction, and he quickly added, “You know, Michael’s interruptions and Dwight being…well, Dwight. But I’m happy to be back. As surprising as it is, I missed Michael and Dwight a little. And I missed you.”

He looked at her in a way that made her feel nervous, then he seemed to snap out of it. His voice was completely unflinching when he spoke next. “How was the wedding, anyway? How’s Roy?”

She took a deep breath and let out an accidentally audible sigh. She really didn’t want to talk about her wedding or her husband. Not now, not with Jim. They reached the end of the stairwell, and Pam was just about to answer his question when Roy opened the door from the parking lot.

“Hey, babe, where were you? I was waiting by your car for you for, like, ten minutes.” At that moment, he noticed Jim. “Hey, Halpert. How are you, man? Pam mentioned you’d be coming back.” Pam watched as they shook hands. At that moment she felt so conflicted. All her emotions ran together. It scared her when, in that one moment, she realized she didn’t know which man she loved more.

Roy returned his attention toward her. “Good thing we took separate cars today. Me and Daryl are gonna go to Poor Richards for a drink. I’ll be home later.” He kissed her on the cheek, said goodbye to Jim, and left for his car.

Pam and Jim stood in silence. It was obvious neither of them knew what to say. Then an idea came to Pam. “Hey, since Roy’s going out, why don’t you and I go get a cup of coffee or something? We can catch up.”

Jim looked like he was in physical pain. “Actually, I already have plans with Karen. That’s what I wanted to tell you. We kinda started dating…”

“Oh, yeah. That’s fine. Good for you. That’s great.” Pam knew she sounded flustered, but at this point she didn’t care. She just wanted to go home and be alone. “Okay, well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.” She walked to her car, turned around and said one last thing.

“It’s good to have you back.”

Jim walked to his car and, without looking at her, mumbled, “Yeah. It’s good to be back.”