Pam felt sick all night. As thoughts of ‘what if’s’ flew through her head she knew she did the right thing. Jim deserved to be happy, she would give everything for him to be and if Karen made him happy then so be it.

She poured herself a glass a wine and stared at her almost deafening empty apartment. She decided to go to bed, 13 steps to the bathroom where she would grab a PM pill to help quiet her thoughts, 8 steps to her bed. She had started counting her steps in her her apartment days after she moved in. It made her feel better to talk to herself, even if it was just counting, made her feel not so alone.

As drowsiness took over, she laid quietly waiting for her dreams to take her. A small appreciative smile crossed her face. Dwight’s face popped into her weary thoughts.

“He thought I was emotional because of my period” she surprised herself by saying out loud.

The memory of sitting out of the warehouse, hidden, or so she thought, it felt good to let her emotions loose. Dwight had no idea she was completely sick over the advice she had given to Jim to go easy on Karen about moving close to him. The thought of those two being any closer then they are now made Pam feel sick to her stomach.

Fortunately the P.M. pill was starting to kick in. Her last thoughts escaping her mind being only those of making a mental note to be nicer to Dwight, after all, he cared- even if he did think it was her period.

It was 5:30 am when she awoke. Even with the aid of a sleeping pill, she got very little sleep. Surprisingly though, she felt good, not excruciatingly exhausted as she had in the past few months.

She got up and took a nice long shower, threw on a pair of jeans and shirt and poured herself a cup of tea. She sat on her deck watching as random lights started turning on, a sure sign others were beginning their day.

Since she had more than an hour before having to leave for work she grabbed her keds and hit the pavement, deciding it was a perfect way to clear her thoughts, to start her day.

Her thoughts centered around how good she felt today. She hoped this feeling would last all day, knowing full well as soon as Jim and Karen walked into the office this feeling would vanish.

She sat on a park bench hugging her knees to her chest smiling thinking to herself, ‘it can only go uphill from here.’

She arrived at work around five to eight, no one was there. To her surprise Jim walked in alone, Karen arriving ten minutes after. She decided today she was not going to waste her time or energy wondering why.

The day went by wearingly slow. Michael had her alphabetize is phone messages (all 3 of them) which she decided would take her 30 min to do just to waste a little more time.

She waited for the main lunch group to come out of the break room before she went in to have hers. She was feeling good today and didn’t want it ruined by seeing any sort of interaction between Jim and Karen. When Jim returned to his desk after lunch she felt him looking at her. She allowed her mind to wander to a time when they ate lunch together everyday. The memory alone was enough to warm her. She looked up at him and gave him the warmest smile she could muster, he looked at her deeply, like trying to read her mind. He looked concerned and torn about something. Her smile faded and before she knew it, tears welled up in her eyes. She put the phone on override and made her way to the break room to calm herself.

At this time the last person was walking out, relieved she grabbed her yogurt and sat down relishing in the silence. When she heard the door open she looked up hoping to see Jim smiling at her. No such luck, Dwight walked in, she smiled and he blushed which made her remember the last time he was alone with her, she was crying like a child.

He was drowning on about a new paper product that Dunder Mifflin would be promoting, Pam just smiled. She was so busy staring at Dwight’s face, grinning to herself, thinking about the bobblehead that looks identical to him that he proudly displays. The one that her and Jim held for ransom once upon a time.

She was looking so intently at Dwight that she did not hear the door open again.

Dwight suddenly looked uncomfortable as he turned to her and said “You know Pam, your too nice to let anyone make you cry.”

And with that he walked out, her eyes following him to the door landing on Jim as Dwight disappeared out. She felt redness creep across her face, as Jim took a few premeditated steps forward.

“What is going on?” He Asked, not losing her eye contact “Why were you crying? Are you ok?” The questions flew out of his mouth.

Pam stood up and tossed her half full yogurt in the garbage, as she got closer to him she just gave him a weary smile, forcing herself not to reach out and touch his arm. He took her hand and Pam felt a shock through her body.

Just then Karen walked in, “Whats up with Michael today?” She asked as she walked straight to the vending machine completely oblivious to the tension she just walked in on.

Pam looked at Jim, “I don’t know” answering his question. And with that she walked back up to her desk. Jim stared at her the rest of the day, fighting off the urge to walk up to her desk.

When 5 o’clock hit he decided to approach Pam at her desk while going to get his coat from the rack.Dwight pushed past Jim and stopped right in front of her desk.

What is going on? Jim thought to himself. He glanced over to see Dwight drop off a ton of paperwork into her inbox. Annoyed Jim thought it was rude to give Pam all this work when she should be going home.

Maybe she has plans tonight he thought as he glared at Dwight. Maybe she is meeting up with friends, or had a date. The words dropped from his mind to the pit of his stomach. Is she dating?!?!

He felt tears spring to his eyes as Karen walked up and grabbed his arm leading him out. Jim took one last look at Dwight putting more work onto Pam’s desk seeing her exasperated look, he thought, She will be here all night, thank you Dwight! Knowing she would have no time for a date tonight, Jim felt guiltily better.

He was not in the mood to be social with Karen after work, so, claiming a headache he avoided having to have her over. He sat on the edge of his couch squinting as he rubbed his head.

Why was Pam crying? Why was she crying to Dwight?! He felt the familiar sour feeling in the pit of his stomach. So much had been left unsaid between him and Pam and his heart ached at the thought of her. He felt the urge to call her but avoided it, instead cracking open a beer and turning on some sports.

Pam was at home halfway through her second glass of wine. She was starting to feel a little tipsy, a feeling she loved. She decided to go through some of her boxes of Art to see what she could hang up to make the place feel more homey.

It was half past 10 as she rummaged through her 3rd box she had gone into a fit of giggles, grabbing her cell phone she scrolled through her contacts until she landed on Jim.

Without thinking she pressed send. His phone rang as he was returning from the kitchen with his 5th beer. Why can’t Karen just give me a night off?!? He thought to himself, laughing as he tripped over a shoe, obviously feeling the alcohol he had consumed.

He grabbed his phone to silence the ringer when he saw his caller ID flashing Pam’s Cell. He would have normally been nervous about answering, but he was surprisingly calm.

He picked up, a smile in his voice, "Pam isn’t a little late to be making calls?” For a second he worried she would get the wrong idea, he cursed himself for saying that to her.

He couldn’t understand what she was saying, something that seemed to be coming out in sobs. Oh my gosh, is she crying? He suddenly felt a surge of heartache shoot through him.

“Pam, what is it, whats wrong.” He sounded gravely concerned.

He soon realized she wasn’t crying, but laughing, really really hard. He couldn’t help but laugh along with, her laugh is contagious.

“What are you doing Beesley?” In between laughing fits she filled him in on how she was going through an old box when she fell upon the“Everything you need to know about Loch Ness.” Of course, a book Dwight had given to her right before she left for a weekend trip to the Lake with Roy.

She hadn’t even opened it before tonight, but when she did she knew she had to call Jim.

“So your telling me he actually wrote in the book a recipe for luring old nessy out of the water?” Jim couldn’t believe the words even as he spoke them.

Soon they were both dying of laughter, in between gasps she told him she had to call him because she had the perfect plan of how they can use this information to their advantage.

God I miss her, Jim thought, It feels amazing to talk to her, to hear her laugh, to hear her voice.

He wanted to go to her apartment and sit with her, drink with her, and well, do a bunch of things with her.