She called her mom, talked to Sarah about the new developments, talked to Tim to get the man’s perspective (since Jim wasn’t exactly objective in this situation), but nothing really seemed to bring her any closer to a decision.

All week, she avoided the warehouse, and didn’t spend much time, other than lunch breaks, with Jim.  (Who else would they have eaten lunch with—Angela?)  They still exchanged glances when Dwight was being ridiculous, and every once in a while, one of them would just have to tell the other something that had just happened, but mostly they just learned to save up for lunch breaks, and to communicate more fluently without words.

Pam wondered if wordless communication wasn’t cheating, but somehow couldn’t bring herself to care enough to stop.  There were some things that she just needed, and one of those things was to communicate with Jim during the workday.

Another small way that she cheated was that she didn’t answer any of Roy’s calls to her cell phone, and asked Sarah and Tim to tell him not to call the house, either; on the other hand, when Jim called (on Monday night), she didn’t answer, but she did send a text message saying that they would talk tomorrow.

She also played the voicemail he left for her several times, just to hear it again: “Hey, Pam.  I was just wondering if anything happened after work.  I saw Roy waiting there, I assume for you, and I…was just making sure you were okay.  Talk to you later.”

Pam wasn’t stupid—she knew all these signs were pointing toward Jim.  She had done what Sarah suggested, and thought about the three different aspects of love.  Her resulting conclusions were pretty conclusive, as well. 

Roy: commitment-check on his part, question mark on hers; sexuality-check; friendship-not really, anymore.  They used to be friends, but they’d never been like her and Jim, and now she didn’t think Roy really knew her at all.

Jim: commitment-she was pretty sure that was a check on his part, question mark on hers; sexuality-hell, yes, if their brief kisses were any indication; friendship-well, it was silly to even question that.

So her and Jim’s relationship was closer to ‘ideal’, than her and Roy’s.She’d even looked up that dream interpretation website.  According to dreammoods.com, wedding dreams often highlight some anxiety or fear and reflect your issues about commitment and independence.  If you dream about your waking relationships, you should compare your dream with your waking relationship, as in dreams you may be able to confront issues you would normally ignore. 

This also seemed pretty clear: Jim was what she wanted.  That, and she was very jealous of Katy, but that was kind of moot, since Jim had broken up with Katy.

So why was she hesitating?

It was crazy, she knew, because having opened up her eyes to all the feelings she had for Jim, she knew she’d be miserable being Roy’s wife, but she was reluctant to declare the last ten years of her life a waste.  She couldn’t stand the thought that she’d spent all this time with Roy with nothing to show for it.

It was Friday, one week after the booze cruise, when she finished reaching all these conclusions, but she didn’t do anything about it.

She delayed for another whole week, just pushing things to the back of her mind, wishing that she could just move, do anything, but she seemed incapable of doing so.  Then, on the day that marked the second week of her and Roy’s break, she just had to act.

She was pretending to work, as usual, and staring at Jim instead, also not unusual.  Her thoughts were focused on the kisses that they had shared, and she thought, that’s it.  Jim’s the only man I want to kiss again, ever.  And I want to get started ASAP. 

***

From: PBeesly 

To: JHalpert 

Re: Dwight 

Jim— 

It’s been way too long since we pulled something on Dwight.  I was thinking something involving his mini-me bobble head? 

--Pam 

***

Jim nodded to show his agreement and held up ten fingers to indicate that they should meet in ten minutes.  They giggled and whispered like junior-highers in the break room, and with her decision made, she felt deliciously free. 

They ended up stealing his bobble heads one by one each time he went to the bathroom (Pam was surprised they managed to do this without him noticing, but there were a surprising number of general sales calls directed his way all morning), and then over lunch break, they strung them up along the edge of the desk, like a holiday garland.  His reaction was all that they could have hoped for. 

“Michael!  A deliberate act of terrorism has been perpetrated against my personal property!  May I investigate?”

The question of investigation became moot, as Jim and Pam collapsed in laughter behind Pam’s desk.  Pam’s sense memory went into overdrive, recalling the time that they had laughed so hard about the ‘alliance’, and Roy’s outburst.  How did I not realize my feelings then?

This time, she didn’t have to pull away.

***

Jack, of course, did a lot of filming of this prank, wondering if this indicated a return to how things used to be, before the booze cruise. 

He really hoped not.  Anyone could see that Roy didn’t appreciate Pam, and everyone behind the scenes was rooting for Jim.

Ooh, there we go, he thought, and focused on on Jim’s hand resting on Pam’s shoulder, creating a visual parallel with the last time this had happened, during the ‘alliance’. 

Today, no Roy was in sight, and Jim’s hand lingered.

Something else caught Jack’s eye.  A framed picture behind the reception desk, of a tall man stretched out on a sofa, asleep.  Zooming in, he could tell that it was definitely Jim.

***

It was only fair to Roy that he should be the first to know, so she stepped outside the office that afternoon to call him and tell him that she wanted to talk after work.  No, she didn’t want to go out.  At their apartment would be fine.

When she arrived, she felt odd: she wasn’t comfortable just walking in, but it had been her home for several years; did she really need to knock?

Finally, she turned the doorknob and called, “Roy?” at the same time.  “Are you here?” 

Roy came hurrying to the door.  “Pam?  Hey, come in, dummy.  You don’t have to knock!”

It was at this point that Pam realized she may have made a bad call on the location, because he assumed that she was coming back. Bracing herself, she replied, “Yes, I do.  It’s not my home anymore.”

“Yeah, it is.  Even if you haven’t been sleeping here…”  Roy’s voice trailed off as she shook her head and her meaning sank in.  “You’re—you’re not coming back?”

“No, Roy, I’m not,” she answered, feeling the tears start.

“You’re choosing Halpert over me?  How is—?  Baby, what do you want?  I’ll change!  You want me to start playing jokes on Schrute?  You want me to go to college?  I’ll do it!”

Pam couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.  “No, no, it’s not that.  I—look, Jim was the catalyst, but I think I would have ended up unhappy with you no matter what…and that is not how I meant to say that!

“I mean that we’re just not right for each other.  We didn’t get engaged because we wanted to marry each other; we got engaged because I wanted to get married to someone, and you knew that everyone expected us to.

“I guess—I guess I’m saying that I’ve grown up a little.  I don’t want to get married to just anyone, I want to get married to the right guy…and I don’t think that I’m the right girl for you, either.  You should have someone who will be happy with you being just the way you are, not want you to change before they approve of you.”

Roy’s face was tight with anger and the strain of holding tears back. Bitterly, he asked, “And you’re saying that Halpert is ‘the right guy’ who you want to marry?”

 “I—well, I can’t really say—”  

“But that’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it?”

Pam pursed her lips and turned back to her car.  “Goodbye, Roy.”

She winced, but didn’t turn back, when she heard a shout of rage and loud banging.  She wasn’t sure she wanted to know what he was destroying.  It was probably something of hers, but she thought that she deserved it.

***

“Hey, Pam!  Ready for lunch?”  Jim shook his paper bag hopefully.

“Oh, Jim, I’m sorry; I have an appointment today during lunch,” Pam looked apologetic, but Jim detected an air of excitement about her, too.  He really hoped it had nothing to do with Roy; she hadn’t really been forthcoming about any decision she might have made on that front, and he didn’t want to push.

Trying to hide his disappointment that they wouldn’t get to eat lunch together, he said, “Oh, well, I guess I’ll see you this afternoon, then.”

“Yeah, we can definitely talk then,” she smiled, putting on her jacket and breezing out the door.

Jim glumly sat down to his solitary sandwich.

That afternoon, Pam didn’t even mention her trip, although she acted the same as she used to, before the booze cruise, and even came over to his desk a few times.

On Tuesday, the exact same thing happened, almost word for word.

When she acted the same on Wednesday, he started to get frustrated; he had had to eat lunch alone with Kevin three days in a row, with no explanation whatsoever.  He determined to ask her what was up that afternoon.

She breezed back in the doorway, and her excitement was palpable.  Her eyes sparkled and her face glowed.  Jim felt sick; it had to have something to do with Roy.  What else could it be that would make her so excited, but that she wouldn’t want to talk to him about?  He wasn’t so sure that he wanted to ask her anymore.

Pam hung her jacket up and turned toward Jim, giving him a radiant smile.  He couldn’t seem to conjure up a good smile, but gave her his best attempt.  She noticed, of course, and her face fell a little.  She walked over to his desk and leaned on it, facing away from Dwight.  Michael was still on lunch, so this was the best bet for semi-privacy. 

“Jim, I’m sorry I’ve been so secretive.  I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t notice, because I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that was wishful thinking.”  She swallowed.  “I really want to surprise you; is it okay if I keep my secrets one more day?  I promise you’ll like the surprises.”

She had to know that he wouldn’t like anything that was good news for her and Roy’s relationship, so he agreed.  Besides, it was hard to refuse her when she was looking so gorgeous, her eyes sparkling, her cheeks pink.

“Good.  So I’m taking you out to dinner tomorrow night.  To keep it all a surprise, I’ll drive.  I expect you to be waiting for me to walk out after work tomorrow.”  With that, she whirled and went back to her desk.

Well.  That was intriguing.

***

On Thursday, she didn’t go out during lunch.  She sat down in the break room, and when she saw his confused look through the glass, motioned impatiently.

“I thought you were taking revenge or something, because I left you alone.”

“The last three days, Beesly.  You ditched me for three days.  I should take revenge.  See ya later!”  He made a show of gathering up his lunch.

Laughing, Pam grabbed his hand.  “No, please, stay!”

“Well…okay,” he said, pretending to be reluctant.  “I don’t know why I put up with you, Beesly,” he joked, knowing very well that she knew exactly why he put up with her.  “So, come on, tell me about these special secrets.”

“Uh-uh.  I don’t think so.  The agreement was that I tell you tonight,” and she tilted her head toward the cameras.

Hmmm.  Something to tell me, that she knows I’ll like, but  that she doesn’t want the cameras to see?  He was really curious now.

***

After work, Pam gathered her things and stood up to see Jim waiting for her, her jacket over his arm.  He helped her into her jacket, and she took his arm.  She was so excited about tonight, she was almost trembling with anticipation. 

Even though she was driving, Jim insisted on opening the car door for her, because that’s the kind of guy he was.

She took him to a fancy restaurant, and he raised his eyebrows.  “What?” 

“Nothing, just…I used to think about bringing you here for…special occasions,” Jim replied.  ‘Special occasions’ was definitely not exactly what he had meant, but she decided not to ask him about that just yet. 

After ordering food (she told him to make sure and order whatever, without worrying about the price, because it was a special occasion and she was paying; she also knew he hadn’t listened, and called him on it), “I suppose,” she began, glancing up at him through her lashes, “that you’d like to hear what was going on all week.”

“Nah, it’s cool,” Jim leaned back in his chair and tried to look nonchalant.  “I don’t care.”

“Liar.”

“Yes, I am,” he responded, leaning forward.  “It’s killing me, actually.  What were you doing on your lunch breaks?”

Pam let out a breath and squared her shoulders.  “The first piece of news is that I officially ended things with Roy.”  She paused for his reaction: he couldn’t decide if ‘congratulations’ or a huge ‘yesss!’ would be least inappropriate, so he just sat back in his chair and smiled.

Continuing, she said, “The second thing is that when I was gone on lunch breaks, I was finding an apartment, and last night I moved.”

“Pam, that’s great!”  Jim found her hand and held it.

“Also, I am looking for a job elsewhere.”  He looked a little confused at this news, so she jokingly clarified: “I mean, it’s partly because I want to get a job that has something to do with art, but also because I just don’t want to fill out that dating form at work.”

“Are we dating?” Jim asked.

“Do you want to be?”

“Yes!”

“Then we are,” she replied with a soft smile.  Unable to resist that smile, Jim stood up and walked around the table.  She watched him, confused, as he took her hand, pulled her out of her chair, and proceeded to kiss the breath out of her.

“Pam,” he whispered, oblivious to all the people throughout the restaurant staring at them, including the waiter who was waiting to serve their appetizers.  “I love you.”

She looked down at his chest, biting her lip, then glanced up to his face.  “I love you, too.  I’m in love with you, and I don’t know why it took me so long to see it.  I’m sorry, but I promise, from now on, I will say it every day.  I’m in love with you, Jim.”

Of course, there was more kissing after that speech, and it wasn’t till other patrons started to clap that they remembered where they were.  They sat down, flushed, to hurry through dinner.

***

Jack decided that were some things even people who had signed waivers should get to keep private.  He recorded over the last ten minutes with innocuous suppertime footage and went home to his wife.

He acted as surprised as anyone else when Dwight caught Jim and Pam making out in the break room a week later.