Jim stared at the elevator has it closed behind Ryan's form.  This had really been the most surreal day of his life.

 Some of it was good, and some of it was not working out quite how he had thought it would.

Ryan was not supposed to get the job.  When had he even been in the running?  Jim had never quite known what to make of Ryan.  He always looked detached and patronizing, yet would do absolutely every crap assignment handed his way, a frown or a grimace on his face the whole time.

He acted like he was some sort of martyr of corporate America.  Not to mention being a martyr to clingy, commitment hungry women.  Jim used to hate seeing the way Ryan treated Kelly, and Jim couldn't help but feel a bit responsible for being their initial go between.  Jim would rather not admit to himself how he hasn't really treated women all that much better himself, especially recently.

Things were not turning out how they were supposed to.  He had felt so sure that Karen would get the job.  Which fit wonderfully into the gallant and romantic gesture he was making.

He was triumphantly returning to the woman he loves,  leaving the woman who had not been quite right in New York to live a life that suited her more than any life with him ever could.  It was all so fitting and right that Karen would get the job.  Win-win-win.   

He had actually felt somewhat noble, following his heart to Scranton.  Now he felt like a bit of a prick.   

 "Where did you just go?"  Pam asked him, breaking him from his revelry.

"Ryan is the new Jan.  It's unreal."

"It is a bit unreal.  Are you excited yet that there might be an opening for 'hottest' at this year's Dundies?" 

"From what you were just saying Michael would pick you, with the kiss and everything," he quipped back. 

"Rejected kiss!"

"Sure, sure.  I figured two lost souls like yours would unite...."

"I hate you, you know that."

"I do. And yet I will continue to tease you mercilessly about that romantic moment for years to come." 

Pam smiled, then turned serious.  "You seem bothered by the fact that Ryan got the job.  Do you have any regrets?"

Jim hesitated for a moment.  "I am happy to be here with you right now.  I just don't understand how Ryan got that job.  We went on a sales call together once, and you could tell he learned everything from a book.  Nothing was natural."

"Not everyone can be as charming as you, you know," Pam said, smiling at him a bit shyly.

"No, you're right.  And I shouldn't look down at those without my natural gifts.  I just thought for sure that the job would be Karen's," Jim blurted, and instantly regretted it when he saw Pam's face fall.

"Yeah, I didn't know Ryan was a candidate.  As far as I know, he didn't even interview in New York."

"I didn't see him there.  He's going to be pretty smug when he comes in and has to try and keep Michael in line as his superior after all the time serving as Michael's disgruntled servant.  Watching that dynamic won't be pretty " Jim spit out, with more vitriol than he had meant to use.

"I don't know if I've ever heard you sound so harsh, even when talking about Dwight.  Are you just watching out for Michael, or is there something else?"

"Nope, just showing my love for Michael.  Really, I'm jealous that he tried to kiss you."

Pam rolled her eyes, and said nothing. 

"I'm sorry, on to cheerier topics.  We should go get gussied up for our night out," Jim said. 

"Night out?  What happened to 'it's a date'?" 

"Just trying to take the pressure off."

"What pressure.  It's just me.  C'mon, are you afraid of me Halpert?" 

Right the reality of everything hit Jim, and he knew why Ryan getting the job fired him up so much, even beyond Karen.  It was so real now.  It had all moved so fast, taking the interview on a lark and then traisping around New York with Karen. Things had been surreal, like it had really been a show for the documentary and not his actual life.  The job had never felt real to him.  That was why he couldn't take it-when he looked ten years into the future, all he saw was Pam. 

But the reality of it all hit him now that he saw Ryan, the former temp, moving up so swiftly and leaving him right where he had been for so long.  He had really gone all in with him Pam now, and it was all or nothing.  They still had so much to work out.

He looked down to see her still smiling at him, though her smile had grown a little wistful.  His heart lightened a bit, just seeing her smile.

She was clearly expecting him to make a quip, but instead he looked her straight in the eyes, dead serious.

"Actually, Pam, you terrify me."