The general reaction to Dan's announcement was immediate and chaotic. Kevin's insane giggle was met with a gasp of “Oh my Lord,” from Stanley, while Oscar just shook his head in disbelief. Creed turned toward his computer, remembering he had some eBay auctions ending soon. Dwight stood up angrily, as if he were suddenly required to defend Angela's honor.
“That is completely unacceptable,” he said, glowering at Dan. “You can't force them to do something so degrading.”
“Nobody is forcing anyone to do anything, Dwight,” Toby said, stepping closer in case he need to stop what looked to be an imminent fight. “They are just here today to explain the possibility of some new marketing for the show.”
“Marketing?” Michael said crossly. “That's exactly the word I'd use for it. Meat Marketing. I should have known you'd support this, Toby. I bet you can't wait to see all that exposed flesh. You disgust me.”
Toby sighed and glanced over to Jim, hoping for some backup from a more levelheaded source. But Jim didn't appear to even be paying attention, his eyes focused more or less on the top of his desk. “Listen, this is still in the planning stages, so let's not get all worked up here,” Toby finally replied. “Ultimately, the final decision is up to the women, right?” He looked over at Samantha Weber.
“Oh, absolutely,” she said, taking a step forward. She was well aware that this was her moment to sell the men of the office on the idea. She'd made this type of speech many times in the past, and to be honest she was really quite good at it. She knew that getting their support would go a long way in convincing the women to take part.
“I know this plan probably does come as a shock to you, but it's really a wonderful opportunity for everyone. You may have seen our past articles on women from other companies - like McDonald's and WalMart and Home Depot - but this is really our first attempt to focus on such a small company. You're already in such a unique position, being the center of such a successful television show, and we think the magazine article can only make Dunder Mifflin that much more popular. And name recognition translates into dollars, which is something I'm sure you all can appreciate.”
“Who cares about money?” Michael mumbled.
“Michael,” Ryan warned.
“Anyway,” Samantha continued. “I've left all the paperwork with Toby, and I'll be back at the end of the week to see where we go from here.”
“Yeah, well, that's just great,” Michael said glumly. He turned and walked into his office, shutting the door behind him.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
“How do I feel about all of this?” Michael repeated, sitting straight up in his chair. “I think it should be obvious how I feel. I don't appreciate strangers coming into my office - into my family's office, my family's living room, if you like - and telling the women to take off all their clothes. That's my job.”
“And who's decision was it that everybody be included? I don't get that at all. I can understand wanting to see Pam naked. I mean, who doesn't? But Angela?” He made a face of complete disgust. “Or Phyllis? God... And trust me, nobody wants to see Meredith. I've been forced through that. It's just wrong.”
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
“Of course Michael is overreacting,” Ryan sighed. “For a start, that associate editor made it pretty clear that it would be one of their tamer pictorials. No one one's going to be put in an uncomfortable position. They aren't even being asked to be nude if they don't wish to be, although I'm not going to be at all surprised if Kelly doesn't insist. I think the whole idea is more about sexing up the Dunder Mifflin image. Not that I don't already know how bizarre that is just to say, much less think about.”
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
“Absolutely, positively not,” Angela huffed at the camera. “I can't believe you even have to ask. What would my family say? Or my friends from the church? No woman with any self-respect would just, just.... spreads it all out for the world to see. So to speak. It's completely ridiculous, and I'm just stunned that I work for a company that would condone this sort of 'marketing'. It's just another term for whorage. Commercial whorage. And I for one will have no part in it.
“As for the other women, Phyllis is a married woman, so I am sure she's as offended as I am. I have no illusions about other people, though. Kelly will do it. And of course Meredith. She's already shown more around here than what the magazine wants.”
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
“Oh yeah,” Phyllis grinned, “I'm thinking about it. Why not? I've told Bobby about it and he says if you've got it, flaunt it.”
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
Pam absentmindedly played with her necklace, her eyes not quite able to keep looking at the camera. “Well, I don't really know what to say. It's not something I ever thought I'd be in the position to consider, you know? I'm not exactly the material I would expect to see in Playboy.”
“Not that I've spent a lot of time looking. I mean, of course I've seen a copy of Playboy or two - Roy used to buy them, although he preferred the ones with less articles and more photos, like Maxim or Hustler. He had quite a stack of Hustlers out in the garage at one point. Anyway, I know that if you are going to take provocative photos and put them in a men's magazine, Playboy is probably the best choice. So there's that.”
“I suppose I should be flattered that Angela doesn't think I would pose. Obviously she must think I'm not completely past redemption, right? The truth is, though - I can't honestly say I've ruled it out. Sure, the old Pam would never do it, but I keep saying I'm not that girl anymore, right? So I guess I need to figure out what the new Pam will do.”
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
Lunchtime arrived before Jim and Pam had even discussed this morning's events.
“Hey,” Jim slid into the seat next to hers at the back break room table.
“Hey yourself,” Pam replied, smiling softly.
Jim opened his soda, the quiet sound of fizzing and crinkling aluminum the only noise. “Wow, what a morning, huh?”
She nodded. “You could definitely say that.”
“So what happened in there?” He took a sip of his drink and opened up his lunch bag.
Pam shrugged. “Pretty much what that woman said afterwards. Playboy approached the documentary producers about having an article on us come out the same time as the season finale. They thought it was an interesting idea so they both went to New York and pitched it to Dunder Mifflin.”
“Who did they talk to? I just can't see Wallace agreeing to it.”
“I don't know. I think it's more likely they were only pitching the idea to the department that deals with marketing. And they would have been paying attention to the part where it would increase their profile. Besides, when other companies have made a fuss about Playboy approaching them, they tend to get mocked in the media.”
“Mocked?”
“Yeah, for being stuffy and prudish and not with the times. That sort of thing.”
“So you think maybe Dunder Mifflin is shooting for that cosmopolitan urban paper product buyer?”
Pam giggled. “Why not? Who else has got to them yet?”
“True. Anyone who's anyone knows never to walk into Staples.” They shared a smile and then continued eating in silence.
Jim ate his sandwich slowly, pausing often to look over at Pam. The third time she caught him she frowned. “What's the matter?” She asked.
“Nothing,” he replied. “I'm just thinking.”
“About?”
He looked as if he were weighing his words carefully. “I was just wondering if you were going to do it.”
“You mean be in the magazine?”
“Yeah. You haven't really told me what you think about it.”
Pam drew imaginary swirls on the table with her finger. “Well,” she said, glancing up at him, “it's a pretty crazy idea, don't you think?”
“Crazy is the word I would use, definitely.”
“I mean, if I had to make a list of things I never planned on doing, I'm sure posing in Playboy would be on the list.”
“That is an interesting idea for a list. What else would be on it?”
“Oh, all sorts of things I don't expect I'll get a chance to do, nor really desire to.”
“Is having sex with Dwight on that list?”
“Bleaugh,” she replied with an appropriate grimace. “It's locked in at number two.”
“Do I even want to know what would be less likely than having sex with Dwight?”
“I don't know. Do you want to know?”
“Tell me.”
Pam leaned in conspiratorially. “Marrying Roy.” She watched as the smile spread across his face.
“Good to know,” he replied.
“Yeah, I keep the list pretty much up-to-date,” she said.
“So I guess you turned her down then?”
“Oh no,” Pam shook her head. “She didn't want our decisions today. We have a whole folder of paperwork to look through before we decide.”
Jim made a face. “Are you seriously considering it?”
“I don't know yet. I'm still processing the fact it's been offered.”
“But it's on the list.”
“I know,” she nodded. “But did you know we'd get paid for doing it?”
“I hadn't really thought about it.”
“We would. And we aren't talking pennies. They'll give us the actual figure on Friday, but she said to expect compensation to be in the thousands of dollars - thousands!”
“Well money's not the only deciding factor, right?”
“No, of course not. But I certainly wouldn't have to worry about art school tuition with that in the bank.”
“You don't need to worry about it anyway,” Jim said seriously. “I've told you before I would be happy to help with that.”
“I know you have,” she said gently, a determined look in her eye. “But it's important that I do things for myself.”
“And posing in Playboy would really be for yourself?”
Pam tilted her head and stared at him for a moment. “You don't want me to do this, do you?”
Jim shifted in his chair and finished his soda before speaking. “It's entirely up to you. I just don't want you to regret anything.”
“But you don't want me to do it.”
“It's not my call. If you want to do it, that's fine. I'll support you.”
Pam smiled as she stood up, then leaned down to kiss his cheek. “Thanks.” She threw her trash into the garbage can near the door. “I better get back to the phones. Do you want to see all the paperwork she gave me later tonight?”
“Of course,” he nodded. “I'd love to see it.”
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
“Yeah, it's been quite a day,” Jim sighed, giving his best resigned face to the camera. “You could certainly say that.”
“Does it surprise me that the Dunder Mifflin corporate executives would think splashing photos of 'The Women of Dunder Mifflin' in an upcoming issue of Playboy might result in more paper sales? The sad thing is that no, it absolutely doesn't. Something tells me they thought this was the best idea they'd heard in a long, long time. I mean, there's no such thing as bad publicity, right?” Jim bit his lip for a moment, then frowned slightly, only to immediately recover into a more neutral expression.
“I really don't know if it's going to happen or not. I guess it depends on whether they really need every woman in the office to do it, or if they're willing to just take who they can get. From what I overhead this afternoon, Kelly definitely wants to do it, which should come as a surprise to no one, as does Meredith. Phyllis is seriously considering it, and that shocks me less than it probably should. Angela is still seething with outrage so I'm guessing she's going to need a lot more encouragement before she signs up, and Karen isn't even part of the whole process because the current time line of the broadcasts mean she hasn't even been introduced yet. So she really lucked out.” He laughed slightly. “Wow, I still haven't gone to Stamford according to the rest of the world. How weird is that?”
“So, yeah - I guess that leaves Pam. She hasn't really said much about the whole thing yet, so I can't give you any inside scoop." He grinned. "Not that I would if she had. My impression is that she seems a bit freaked out about the whole idea, which is how I would feel in her position, so I would be really, really surprised if she agrees. She's just not that type of person. She likes her privacy, like I do, which is odd considering I'm sitting in front of a camera saying this, but it's true. So I guess what I'm saying is that I don't think she'll do it. I mean, I'm sure she won't. At least, I'm pretty sure she won't.”
