“Well, that was weird,” Jim said quietly to Pam, his eyebrows knotted in confusion.
“I know” Pam replied. She felt so guilty! That poor woman thought Jim was disabled! They had meant to be funny and tick off that obnoxious girl working the ring toss, but it had all turned out wrong. She had been lying so much today, that her head was starting to ache.
She felt like things were spiraling out of control. And where was Michelle? Pam’s eyes nervously scanned the large crowd for any sign of her.
“Jim, I think we should find Michelle and Ryan now, ok?”
“Who?” Jim asked.
“Oh, I um…” Pam stammered, “I mean, we should try and find Niki and Ryan now. Jesus, what am I saying? Pam cast a nervous sideways glance at Jim. He didn’t seem phased by her screw up. He was busy scanning the crowd for her friend. For her, she thought. Now she was feeling a little sick to her stomach.
“Okay, Lauren,” he replied. Hearing the fake name, Pam winced.
“The last time we saw them, they were heading off in that direction,” Jim said, pointing towards the picnic area. Together, they walked over.
Jim had his hands stuffed in his pockets again. --he wasn’t attempting to hold her hand. Her fingers itched to slide into his again. Unconsciously, she flexed her hand, trying to shake off the feeling.
She didn’t know why, but somehow the spell they had been weaving together all day felt broken. Maybe it wasn’t real to begin with, she thought. Why should it be? Everything else today has been a lie.
Feeling miserable now, she gripped her stuffed pig a little tighter. The fake fur felt rough and the stuffing below it crinkled like Styrofoam when she squeezed it. Who cares? she thought sadly. I love it anyway.
Glancing over at Jim, she took a deep breath and felt her chest expand. I love the stupid little cheap pig because he got it for me.
Jim felt her eyes on him and looked over at her. “What?” he asked, feeling a little miserable himself. He was stupid, so stupid! Things were going so well. She was just so warm, so funny, so damn beautiful.
Then somehow, he blew it. He must have, right? He actually saw her wince when he said her name.While they walked to the picnic tables, his mind raced through the possible reasons she might be pissed at him. He had been joking around all day. It could have been any number of stupid things he said that pissed her off.
But she seemed to be enjoying his jokes. His mind’s eye saw her laughing with him, her long hair soft around her face. Her beautiful eyes fixed on his, silently sharing a secret. How tiny her hand felt in his when they walked through the crowd. How their bodies innocently brushed up against each other in the busy lines.He looked up at her with big sad eyes.
“I just wanted to say, thanks for the pig. I love it,” Pam said in a soft voice.
Jim scanned her face, trying to read her expression. “You’re welcome”, he replied hesitantly, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Taking a deep breath, he steered the conversation in another direction. “Listen, Lauren, this crowd is nuts. We’ll never find them if we’re just wandering around. Why don’t you wait here and check the crowd? I’ll take a walk through and see if I can find them, ok? I’ll come back and get you when I find them.”
“Ok, sure,” Pam said, biting her lip. She sat down on the bench of the nearest wooden picnic table. There were no empty ones, so she found herself in front of a half full table with an Indian family and their three daughters.
“Mind if I sit for a minute? I’m waiting for a friend,” She asked the mother. She felt stupid intruding.
The woman motioned for her to sit. She smiled at her, but it was tight-lipped. The three girls looked upset. Pam guessed the mother’s expression had nothing to do with her intrusion at their table. She must be mad at her kids, she thought absently, and looked away to scan the crowd for Michelle.
“Who are you waiting for?” one of the girls, who looked about ten or eleven, asked Pam in a sweet little voice. Pam looked over at her and opened her mouth to answer. Before she could, the girl continued on.
“Is it a boy? Is he cute? How old are you?” Pam just stared at her. Once started, the barrage of questions just kept coming. Pam didn’t know which one to answer first. But it didn’t seem to matter. The girl didn’t seem to need an answer. “I like your top. Where did you get it? Do you have a boyfriend?”
Her father immediately snapped at her, “Kelly, don’t be rude! That’s none of your business!”
“But Dad, I was only asking her a question!” the girl Kelly whined.
More like twenty questions, Pam thought and glanced sheepishly over at the mother. She was still wearing her same tight-lipped smile. And her eyes looked pained. Pam felt bad for her.
“No really, that’s ok. She can ask me a question. I don’t mind,” Pam said glancing at Kelly. The young girl beamed at her.
But before the girl could get her next set of questions out, Pam spotted Ryan, holding a Coke, and moving through the crowd.
“I’m sorry,” she stammered. “I see my friend. I’ve got to grab him. Bye!” And she jumped up to catch up with Ryan.
