Now look who shows up
In the same place
In this case
I think it’s better
To face it ---
We belong together
We belong together

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s 1:47 am when Pam looks at the clock. She’s sitting on the floor of her living room surrounded by paints, brushes, CDs, writing paper, pens, sketchbook, a paper plate with a pizza crust on it, her yearbooks, tape, glue, and paper clips. She’s been sitting here for four hours and she’s no closer than she was four hours ago. She’s going to feel like absolute hell tomorrow. She knows that. But she can’t let him go off to New York with nothing. She has to think of something she can slip into his messenger bag that will make him think of her. Make him remember.

He knows how she feels now. She couldn’t have put it any plainer. Well, she could have said, "Jim, I’m so in love with you. I was an idiot and I’m sorry but it’s not too late. Just forget about Karen and let’s start over." That would have been pretty plain, but she couldn’t do that. Still, he knew.

But he’s still going to New York for the interview. He might get the job and leave again. Maybe for good this time. She had to do something to let him know she’s thinking of him.

She spent an hour making a CD for him to listen to in the car, full of love songs and promises, but then she changed her mind. Karen would be in the car, too, and she thought it would be obvious where the CD came from, if he even played it.

She wasted ten sheets of drawing paper trying to capture her feelings. She tried a self-portrait that was a disaster. She drew that bit of the parking lot where they’d stood when he told her. It felt wrong, didn’t hit the right note. She definitely had her regrets, but she didn’t want to remind him of all of that.

She cut her senior picture out of her yearbook and pasted it to a pink piece of writing paper, then couldn’t think of the right thing to say. "I was dorky, too! Can two dorks find love together?" Horrible.

She pushed a little of the mess aside and stretched out on the floor, remembering the day he’d come back. How excited she was, how sure she was they’d be able to pick up again and that she could make it right this time. Instead, she’d sat for weeks, silent and aching, with the refrain of that song on a constant loop in her head.

We belong together

We belong together

It was like he’d forgotten how they were together. Oh, he said he’d missed her, too, but she didn’t think he remembered how good it was.

Her thoughts go back to the day they staged the office Olympics. How alive he was, his eyes were shining and full of laughter and mischief. The look on his face when she opened the box and showed him the doves. How his hair smelled when he bent down to let her put the gold medal around his neck.

Pam sat straight up and nearly twisted her ankle running to the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and thank God she’d gone to the store because there were 4 containers of Mixed Berries right there. She opened one carefully, first licking the lid then running it under water in the sink. Gold medal.

Don’t forget me. Don’t forget us. Either way, no matter what, it’s good. Just don’t forget.