She still keeps secrets sometimes.

Steaming coals gave her courage, certainly, but they didn't stop her desire now and then to be a tad bit reserved, somewhat cautious, to keep things to herself for just a little while.  She likes having little pieces of information carefully tucked away, to be revealed only in due time.

It's an ordinary Tuesday when she sits at her desk, brooding over the little spat she'd had with Jim earlier that morning.  She is his wife, not his secretary and it isn't her job to keep track of his sales meetings.   She flips the page in the desk calendar with more force than is necessary.  She feels her heart trip when she notices the date.

She taps each finger on the desk in turn, closes her eyes and wiggles her toes, then taps her fingers again. 

Twenty-five days....

Is it too soon to know?  She doesn't think so.  Her fingers shake as she Googles, her heart pounding as she reads...

"For most accurate results, take a test sometime at the end of this week..."

"Right now it's the size of a poppy seed..."

"You should start taking more Folic acid..."

After work, as she wanders the aisle in Rite Aid and chooses a box at random she feels giddy, excitement bubbling up as she bounces on her heels, shaking a vial of vitamins in her other hand.

She knows whether plus or minus it'll just be her little secret...for now.

xoxoxo

He's been gone since Thursday.

The last week or so has been tough, she's sure it's obvious but this last minute trip to New York has him distracted.   It's been close there for a while.

"Whoa. Don't bite my head off, I just asked if you minded if I took the last slice of pizza..."

"Ooo.  Wow.  Yeah...that's not good.  There must be something going around..."

"We need to have a discussion about priorities Beesly.  You should get your napping done during work...not after..."

Early Saturday evening she takes a walk,  needing to get out of the house, the scent of the candle she usually loves turning her stomach, threatening to make her dinner a distant memory.

She watches the neighbor's kids, chasing each other around the yard, their laughter tinkling like bells and her heart feels light.

Soon...she thinks.  But not quite yet...

xoxoxo

It's the how she's having a problem with.

She's thought of writing it on a phone message but she doesn't want to tell him at work, in lipstick on the mirror as he showers but she wants to be able to see his face, of leaving pairs of pink and blue booties nestled in his sock drawer, but she doubts he'd even notice.

She thinks of the discussion they'd had that morning, about what to do on Saturday.  He doesn't understand garage sales.  He always says why buy something someone else is trying to get rid of.  

She knows he has a point but she likes them all the same.  She likes the little peeks at other people's lives.  She buys things occasionally, collects pieces and stores them away in the chest at the end of their bed.  She's choosy.  All the things she's acquired are unique...special.

He's dragging his feet but she won't be deterred.  This weekend there's a really promising one over on Sycamore. 

And just like that, the how becomes clear.

On Friday she leaves work early. She fabricates an errand but instead heads straight home. 

She makes all his favorites, sets the table with care - two places are set with her wedding china, a third with her yard sale treasures.

A small ceramic mug too tiny to hold more than a few ounces

China plate with dancing bears and A, B, C's, chip on the edge barely noticeable

Tiny silver spoon with an elaborate H engraved on the handle

She hears him before she sees him, smiles when he declares how wonderful it smells in here.  Nerves are causing her to nibble her bottom lip as he glances at the table and then back to her.   His eyes ask the question moments before the words spill from his lips.

"Umm.  Are we expecting someone?"

"Yeah."  She replies, her voice almost a whisper.  "In a little bit..."

Before she can blink her feet are off the floor, his arms holding her close, her head spinning as he twirls her around.

And all of the sudden...it's not just her secret anymore.