“Music?”

“Check.”

“Coffee?”

“Check.”

“Obscene amount of junk food?”

She looks over at me with a sly grin.  “Very big check.”

“Then we’re good to go.”  I smile back before turning to look behind me as I back out of my driveway.  The sun is just barely starting to rise, and the tops of the trees are tinted with pinks and purples.  It’s a pretty gorgeous sight, and a reminder why even after 27 years I still love this town.  I wonder if they have sunrises as good as these in Connecticut.  I wonder if they’re better when she’s next to me.

Silence settles in and makes itself comfortable between us for the first fifteen minutes and it’s a little unnerving how we can sit like this for so long, not saying anything, and have it not be awkward.  Well, not as awkward.  I’m merging on to the 380 when she finally speaks.

“Do you know any games?”

“You mean road trip games?”

She shrugs.  “Something to pass the time, we’ve got a ways to go.”  She props her feet up on the dashboard and there’s something in her words that sound like lyrics to a song I would listen to.

“Well, there’s the license plate game, always a classic.  Or—“

“I spy!”

“What?  Five-year-old Pam, how did you get in here?”

“Shut up.”

“You should really get home to your mother, she must be worried sick,” I tease, taking my eyes off the road long enough to grin at her.  She’s seemingly ignoring me, but there’s a definite smile teasing the corners of her mouth in that adorable way.  

“Alright, we’ll have it your way.  I spy something—“

“You have to say ‘with my little eye.’”

“Pretty sure that's not an official rule .”

“Do it!” She demands, slapping me lightly on the elbow.  She’s lucky she’s cute.

“I spy with my little eye,” I say with gritted teeth.  It’s hard to pick something with the car moving fast on a completely empty freeway.  Then something catches my eye.  “Something tacky.”

Her eyes search the road in front of us until she breaks into a triumphant grin. “Hooter’s!”

“You’re good.”  We continue on like that for a few more minutes until countryside gets the better of us and really, you can only spy fields so many times.  She tries to fight it but eventually a yawn escapes.

“You holdin’ up over there?”

“I’ll be okay, just haven’t gone this long without sleep.”

“Well, feel free to doze off, we won’t be in Stamford for awhile.”

“But then who’s going to keep you company?”  She’s so genuine it hurts.

“Oh I don’t know, we’ve got a pretty great selection of music here.  My buddies AC and DC will be good for conversation.”

“Let’s not forget Bono.”  She laughs and does that thing where she sticks her tongue in between her teeth.  It’s one of my favorite mannerisms of hers, and I have to remind myself that the road is much more important to look out than Pam’s mouth.  Well, that might be debatable.  

I’m zoning out on the road, hypnotized by the blur of yellow lines passing next to me when suddenly out of the silence comes a small voice.

“Ask me something.”

Well, there’s a dangerous request.

“Do you think Dwight’s a virgin?”

“Eww, so not what I had in mind, thanks a lot.”  

I chuckle and shake my head.  “So what did you have in mind?”

She gives an innocent shrug.  “Just trying to make the time go by.  What, are you scared?”  There’s teasing in her voice, but with a definite undertone of a challenge.  And instead of backing away from it, I face it head on.

“What’s been your favorite memory of the past four years?”

I can tell she’s a little startled by the question, but hey, she’s the one that wanted to do this in the first place.  And I keep it vague, though I really wanted to end the question with “together.”  But she shakes it off and thinks for a few moments.

“So many to choose from, you know?  Never really a dull moment with Michael…though, I’d have to say when we organized Office Olympics.  That was…you were in rare form.”  There’s a sadness to her voice, though I can tell by her face that she’s trying to keep this light hearted.  “You?”

How do I even begin?  How do I explain that the past four years would have meant nothing had she not been there?  I think very carefully about my choice of words before beginning.

“Honestly, and I know this is cheating but whatever, I don’t think I can choose.  I mean, there’s been a lot of fun stuff; pranking Dwight, goofing on Michael…but I couldn’t have done any of it without you.  I’m serious, you…you were great.  Always coming up with new ideas or ways to make my idea better.  I wouldn’t have known by first looking at you that you were so genius when it came to this stuff, but I learned pretty quickly that you were full of surprises.  So, I don’t know Pam, I guess I pick all of it.  There’s nothing in my mind that ranks better above the others because it’s all you and me, keeping each other sane in a job that pretty much requires you to lose your mind.”

Then I realize that I just said all of that.  Out loud.  I didn’t mean to, really, I just kind of got on a roll and damn it I should not be allowed to talk when I’m running on no sleep.  I’ve been staring at the road the whole time during my rambling and I’m absolutely terrified to look over at her; I’ve never opened up like that to her before.  So I look cautiously, just slightly turning my head to gauge her reaction.

And I’m pleasantly surprised to find her looking…happy.  Maybe even a little emotional but I don’t want to get cocky.  The point is she’s happy and not looking desperately for a way to get out of the car.  

“That’s…wow.  Thank you,” she says quietly, staring at her folded hands in her lap with a smile she can hardly contain.

“Whoa, that got a little heavy for almost 6 in the morning, didn’t it?”  I laugh nervously and tighten my grip on the steering wheel.  

“I don’t mind.”  It’s barely a whisper but I manage to catch the words dangling under her breath.

The track changes on the CD and “Beautiful Day” starts in over the speakers and I instinctively drum my fingers to the beat, watching as the state line approaches.  I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding as we leave Pennsylvania and pass by a sign welcoming us to New York.

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