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Chapter Three: Ice Cream Sandwiches
I am really upset. No, more than really upset. I am pissed off. Michael let Dwight pick a terrible...no, worse than that, an atrocious health care plan. He cut vision, dental and there's a $1200 deductable. 1200 DOLLARS! Jim and I tried to talk some sense into him, but of course it was in vain.
Jim actually got a little upset with Dwight when we went to confront him in the conference room. I had to...refocus...him. He was arguing with Dwight about antibodies and immune systems and while it would have been hilarious under different circumstances, I was too irritated to laugh.
We managed to get a bit of revenge later on, however. Dwight decided it would be a good idea to let us write down the diseases we each suffer from annonymously. While Jim circled everything and added "ebola" and "mad cow disease," I went a more creative route. I made up diseases. My best idea was government nano-robots that had invaded my body. HAHA! Jim helped me with one of the better ones too. "Dentohydroplosion" I have no idea how he came up with that name, he's amazing.
Anyway, our made up diseases apparently irritated Dwight a bit and he had to interrogate all of us to decide who to blame. Jim didn't like that too much and promptly locked Dwight in the conference room. It was amazing. Dwight was so angry.
He actually called Jim from the conference room and Jim pulled one of the best feigned innocence acts I've ever seen. I got in on the action too and interupted that conversation to tell Jim about my fake plans to go to the mall this weekend. If I hadn't been so mad at Dwight, I might have felt bad for him...maybe not. He completely deserved this though.
Michael tried to stay in his office all day but couldn't manage. He promised us a surprise when we finally cornered him. Now, I don't think anyone believed that Michael actually had a surprise for us...I know I didn't. I thought that he might possibly pull something off just because he was squirming all day, but he didn't. Well...I guess the ice cream sandwiches were a small surprise. It still didn't make up for the crappy health care plan though.
I guess this means that I can't get sick...or get bad eye sight...or get a cavity...
Roy and I went to Chili's for dinner. He knew how upset I was about the health care plan so he bought me one of those brownie volcano things. Of course, he ate more of it than I did, but it's the thought that counts. He was really nice about it and at least let me rant. He got that glassy look in his eyes and I'm fairly certain he was staring at the tv behind my head, but at least I got it off of my chest.
I'm feeling a little better now. I dunno, maybe if they cut benefits enough the company will save enough money to prevent downsizing. That would make it worth it, although they could give us benefits and fire Dwight and that would accomplish the same thing. That was mean, I shouldn't have said that.
