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Chapter Six: Stupid Boys and Purses

Today was...not such a great day. It started out with Michael being a chauvinist pig and changing the company rules because he liked the way Katy (the purse girl) looked. He said gross things like "cock in the hen house" and kicked Toby and HR out of the conference room. Oh yeah, he also called her a hotter version of me...and then Kevin told me she was prettier than me.

I don't have anything personal against her though. She seemed nice enough and it's not her fault that the disgusting males in this office couldn't stop drooling over her. Kevin almost lost the ability to speak when she was around. Dwight...oh gosh, Dwight. I'll write more about that later. Jim did a good job of keeping his eyes in his head, but he ended up asking her out...more about that later, too.

Right now, I need to vent about Roy. We "made up" after he refused to acknowledge that he'd done anything wrong, by tickling me on Jim's desk, but I don't think I've really forgiven him. No, I did what I usually do...ignore it until I forget it happened.

The thing is though, I expect guys like Michael, Dwight, and Kevin to be jerks and check out other girls. But Roy and I are engaged. I'm not saying he can't observe the fact that she's pretty. He'd have to be blind not to know that...but seriously. This is what he said, verbatim, "I would be all over that if I wasn't DATING Pam." We are NOT dating...I repeat...we are not dating. We are engaged. We have been for three years. And it's times like these that I start thinking we might spend our whole lives engaged and never actually get married.

Anyway...the whole conversation came about at lunch. Roy and I were eating with Jim, and Roy started asking Jim what he thought of Katy and asking about his type. Jim was funny and said something about liking moms...soccer moms, Nascar moms (which I sincerely hope isn't true, haha)...when she walked in. Roy practically started drooling after she left.

Needless to say, I got really upset. I nearly knocked over my refill jar of jelly beans under my desk.

It's a good thing that Jim was in top form today then. His little joke on Dwight totally cheered me up. I guess Dwight thought that Katy met all of his "expectations" and decided he needed to make a move. Of course, the best way to make a move would be to buy himself a man-purse! How would he know this? At the suggestion of Jim of course.

Jim and I had some fun at Dwight's expense dubbing our voices over his while he was buying a purse from Katy. I guess Dwight's definition of flirting is stepping in and out of a purse and then banging it against the table.

Ahh, that was funny! I'm laughing again just writing it down.

I guess as nice as it was for Jim not to be staring at Katy all day, it was a little impractical for me to think that he wasn't attracted to her. I mean, he's only human...and he's single. And he's a great guy so Katy would have been stupid not to go out with him...so yeah, I hope it works out. Jim could really use someone in his life romantically.

It was the last straw for me though. I never really dress up for work...I don't see the point, but watching Roy, Dwight, Michael and Kevin ogle at her all day...I guess once I realized that Jim was into her too it made me want to spruce up my look as well. It wasn't because of Jim asking Katy out. No...that was just the straw that broke the camel's back. I get tired of being overlooked, I guess.

I also realized how far removed my relationship with Roy is from that "New Relationship" feeling. Jim and I were talking about weekend plans and he said he was going out with Katy. He was talking about going out for dinner, drinks, a movie (matching tattoos, but he was joking) and all I had to say was that we're helping Roy's cousin move...because we have a truck. I felt lame.

I bet Jim would be a good date. I mean, not for me, obviously, but for Katy...or whoever. I saw him walking her out to his car and he opened the door for her and carried her bag of purses. Also, he's so funny and easy to talk to, I bet there wouldn't be any of those first date awkward silences. I dunno, I've only ever had one "first date" and I can barely remember what it felt like to go out with someone I hadn't been with at least five years.

Well, I guess I should get some sleep. Roy and I are driving up to Pittsburgh tomorrow. Thankfully I'll get to sleep in the car on the way there.