Disclaimer: I own nothing...if I did, I wouldn't be writing fan fiction.

Chapter 7: Whitest Sneakers

I...am...an idiot...

I got really, really drunk at the Dundies. I can't hold my liquor, I never have been able to. I think I had 4 or 5...maybe 6 drinks last night. Parts of the night are really, really blurry...but some aren't. Let's just say, before I go into too much detail, that I need to get a lock for this diary or else I might be single again and Jim would probably get a broken jaw.

I...um...well, I guess there's no other way to say it, I kissed Jim. Again, I was really, really drunk and I was overexcited about winning a Dundie that wasn't "Longest Engagement." I dunno, Roy and I had a fight in the parking lot (which is why I came inside and got drunk in the first place)...I guess I was just happy that Jim was there and we did have a good time together. Anyway, he was so excited for me getting that award and I just wanted to give him a hug (because I have a sneaky suspicion that he's part of the reason I didn't win "Longest Engagement" again) and I dunno...for just those few seconds when his arms were around me and I was so close to his face...I dunno, it just felt...right.

So, lesson learned...never mix anger, alcohol, best friends and Dundies together or you will end up kissing your best friend and possibly ruining an engagement and a friendship. I guess it's lucky for me that my fiancee wasn't there and that I have an amazing best friend who hasn't said anything about it since.

Anyway, on to the rest of the night...I don't remember too much of the speech I gave, but I guess there will always be next year when I have to watch all of the old footage again (I really hope the kiss was out of frame). I have a huge and very painful bruise on my thigh that I have no recollection of getting. Jim has informed me however that I got it when I fell off of a bar stool, very smooth on my part.

I do remember leaving though.

It was another alcohol induced moment. I asked Jim if I could ask him a question. I have no idea what I was going to ask, but I know it was something. What I do remember though, is looking at him, getting ready to ask and then completely forgetting what I was going to say.

I don't know what happened. It was like the second I looked into his eyes all I could think about was how green they looked at night. He had this expectant look on his face...it was a look he's given me a hundred times but for whatever reason, that night, in that parking lot, it made me feel like I had butterflies in my stomach.

Angela drove me home, her lips pursed together the entire ride. She had classical music on and by the time we got back to my house I was a little more coherent. I didn't have much trouble getting up the stairs. Roy still wasn't back from Poor Richard's and when he did finally get home, he was even more drunk than me. We had it out too. It was probably one of the worst fights we've ever had.

By about 1 AM neither of us had made any headway and we were both growing hoarse. So we just went to bed. I didn't want to be anywhere near him so I slept on the couch. I didn't make Roy breakfast the next morning and drove myself to work. We talked it through a little at dinner tonight, but I'm still pretty upset.