Maybe it's her face, no makeup at all
As she tells me she's not beautiful

As he drove down the streets of Pennsylvania, the words to the song playing on the radio seemed to echo in his heart. He could hear the vibrations within him, he could feel the words engulf him as he thought of her. He thought of the time they’d played Who Would You Do? after Ryan nearly burned the office down. He thought of how hurt she’d been by Roy’s acknowledgement that he’d rather do Angela. He’d gone home that night vowing to try to cheer her up. He’d sat as his computer and carefully picked songs for her and put them on a mix CD for her. He’d realized after he’d burned it that he’d forgotten his bag at work. He’d driven back to work, late at night, and walked into the office to find her staring at her computer, wide awake and obviously teary-eyed. He’d walked over to her, crouched beside her, and said her name loudly and firmly. She’d spilled her soul then. She’d told him how she didn’t feel beautiful when Roy was with her. She’d told him how she felt bland and unattractive. How she didn’t even know what beautiful could look like. He’d pulled her into his arms and reassured her that she was, in fact, very beautiful. She hadn’t heard much of what he said, but in his mind, he’d told her countless times how beautiful and exquisite she was. He loved to sneak quick looks over to reception to stare at her. He loved the way she looked. The way she didn’t try to change who she was, even a little, even by putting on foundation or lip gloss. She was always herself. Pure and beautiful.

Maybe it's her hair, soft golden and wind blown
As we drive through the streets of town

He thought of all the times they’d gone on field trips with the office. When they’d gone to the store to buy things for Kevin when they thought he might have skin cancer; when they’d gone out to lunch; when she’d gotten a flat tire and he’d had to drive hours to pick her up because Roy was busy having poker night. He thought of how carefree she was when they rode together. How, no matter what temperature it was outside, she always wanted the windows down. She could be freezing, but she still wanted the windows down as they drove. She loved the breeze. He loved it too; he loved that when they rode together and a breeze hit her, she threw her head back and let it carry. He loved watching the sun sparkle off each strand. He loved feeling it after they’d gone driving, even if it was just accidental. He loved pretending like he was reaching for something else when really he just wanted to touch her hair, to feel the softness on his skin. He just wanted to touch something golden.

It could be all these things
But I think it's her smile

Jim thought about her hair, her face, her eyes. All of the parts of her soul that captured him so fully. He could stare into her eyes and know every inch of her soul. She was the kind of girl that wore her heart on her sleeve. She was completely open, which many times had hurt her, but he thought it was a great strength when she stared into the eyes of a man who truly loved her. Him. He could see everything inside of her soul when she stared into his eyes. He could see how she ached to be loved, how she desired to be beautiful, and how she wanted to be desperately needed by another person. But his favorite thing about her was not just her eyes. Her eyes were expressive and beautiful, but they matched her mouth in such a way he could hardly take it in. When she smiled, which was rare but extremely pleasant, she didn’t just smile with her lips or her teeth. Her whole body seemed to smile when she truly smiled. Her arms and feet relaxed, her eyes came alive and he could see beauty within them, her lips curled to show her beautiful teeth. When she smiled, Jim felt as if he knew her. Knew her so completely he could take her into his arms and nobody would be able to tell where he ended and she began.

Maybe it's her laugh when she throws back and sighs
Or her eyebrows when I do something stupid

He pictured her face in his mind. The lines on her face that had only gotten more numerous since he’d started working at Dunder-Mifflin. He thought about those eyes. How she reacted when they played pranks together in the office. He thought about how she giggled and nearly ruined the jokes sometimes. How other times, she covered her mouth with her hands and laughed with her eyes. He remembered when he’d accidentally put his own stapler in jello, thinking it was Dwight’s. He remembered how she’d looked at him. It hadn’t been a look of disgust, or even a look that paralyzed him in his stupidity. It had been a slightly raised eyebrow, pursed lips, and shining eyes. It clearly said that he had done something stupid, but it hinted more toward how it was silly and cute. She had smiled at him then, and the whole world had seemed to melt away. When he’d gotten up to go to the bathroom and came back, she’d spooned the stapler out of the jello and left a note on his desk that said, “Good try. Maybe next time you’ll know how to spell your name.”

Maybe it's her smell, the lotion she wears
Or how my hands smell like country pear for days

He remembered all of the times he’d gotten close to her and smelled her hair. He wasn’t sure what kind of shampoo she wore, but he knew he liked it. It smelled like a mixture of something, coconut and lime, maybe. Whatever it was, it took his breath away. And he loved how when he touched her, she was so soft. It wasn’t even when they held hands, it was those moments when their fingers accidentally touched, or when they danced together. Her hands were always so soft, and he had no idea how she kept them that way when she typed 90 words a minute and worked for 43,200 minutes a day. He’d never seen her put on lotion, but he knew she did. Whenever he walked by reception after lunch, she somehow smelled like country pear, mixed in with the coconut and lime. He liked that smell. He liked how when he touched her, it seemed as if he contracted the smell. He loved going home the nights after he did touch her, when her hands had smelled like country pear, and her hair had smelled like coconut and lime, and he loved to lay down in bed and smell his own hands. The scents of her seemed to radiate off of himself and he could sleep peacefully, surrounded by her smell, maybe even convincing himself that she was right there next to him. Sometimes, Karen would be there. Sleeping next to him, but he never really knew it was her. Karen’s smell was more rough. It was almost as if she’d bought cigar scented lotion. Pam’s smell, even the memories from earlier that day, seemed to overtake Karen’s. Sometimes, while he and Karen were making love, he imagined Pam. He imagined how her soft hands would feel on his skin; how she would react when he slid inside of her; how much he would enjoy her because she was Pam, not because she was his girlfriend, and not because he was supposed to. Because he did.

You know it could be all these things
But I think mostly it is her smile

He remembered her words the other night at the beach. He had been sitting there when she had run up, cut Michael off, and proceeded to tell everyone exactly what was on her mind. He had thought it was adorable, how assertive and straight-forward he was being. He loved this new Pam. And then she turned to him, and her words cut him like a knife. They dug inside of hi and cut him in the one place that had brick walls built all around it. The one place only she could penetrate. “Jim, I called off my wedding because of you, and now we’re not even friends.” Those words had burned inside of him. If only he had stayed and waited for her, things might have been different. But he had to go, he knew that. At the time, his only reason was to get away from her, to get away from the life he wanted but couldn’t have. Looking back, he was somewhat glad he had gone away. It had given her the chance to make things right for herself, to become the strong, assertive woman he had wanted her to become, the one that had stared him in the face in her blue zip up sweatshirt, pink shirt, and jeans, with feet scorched from hot coals. He knew that was the Pam he wanted. He loved the other one, but this was a Pam without limits. A Pam that didn’t need a man to feel complete; a Pam that understood how vulnerable she had been and how horrible that was; a Pam that understood if you wanted something, you had to go for it; a Pam that inspired him to go for what he wanted. “Things are weird between us, and that sucks. I miss you. You were my best friend before I went to Stamford, and I really miss you.” He had known this. She hadn’t ever explicitly told them, but after enough times of hugs in the elevator, smiles across the room, and emails saying ‘my life is in shambles, what do I do?’ or making fun of Michael, he had figured it out. He was her best friend; he knew that. She missed him; he knew that, too. She had made that obvious his first day back when she had jumped into his arms. What she didn’t know was that she was his best friend. She trumped over any other friend he ever had before, had presently, or would ever have again. She would always be his best friend. He would always go to her if something went wrong. He knew that. When he came back from Samford and looked in her face, he knew what a fool he’d been. He knew how much he had missed her. All of those long nights where he chalked it up to insomnia or Karen snoring beside him, he had really been thinking of her. Wishing she was the one snoring beside him. Wishing he hadn’t left her. He thought he could never forgive himself for leaving her. “I shouldn’t have been with Roy; there were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding. But the truth is, I didn’t care about any of those reasons until I met you.” He couldn’t believe this strong, assertive woman she’d become. He couldn’t believe that she had just announced her love for him in front of all her coworkers. That she had just taken a stand for what she wanted. He had always known she shouldn’t be with Roy. He had always known that. Every time Roy had grabbed her arm, yelled at her, or dragged her somewhere with him, he had wanted to scream this at Pam. Every time Roy had gawked at another woman, made raunchy jokes in Pam’s presence, or talked about their sex life without her permission, Jim had wanted to scream this at Pam. He wasn’t right for her. He didn’t treat her the way she should be treated. Pam didn’t realize that. She thought that’s what she deserved. He had broken her down so far, ripped apart all of her self-dignity that eventually, she just started to believe him. It was easier than fighting against what he had been telling her for ten years. To hear her acknowledge that Roy was wrong, well, it made Jim’s heart leap. And then to hear that he had been the cause, that the reason she had called off her wedding was because of him. That he had been the reason she cared so much, that made him happy. He wouldn’t show her that he was happy, but it did make him happy. He had changed her. And not in one of those scary horror movie ways. He had changed her in good ways. She had become more strong-willed; she’d had more self-determination, and for once in her life, she believed in herself enough to say what she wanted to say. To say it in front of the TV cameras, the people in the office, and America. To put herself out there and wait, not even for a response, but for herself to feel lighter. “Now you’re with someone else, and that’s fine.” He had patiently listened to every word of what she said. He had tried to push back the feelings of wanting to jump up and kiss her, to tell her he was sorry and take her into his arms and hold her tight. And then she threw in Karen, and it was as if he remembered. He couldn’t do that. He was with Karen. That’s why he wasn’t with Pam. He was with Karen. “I miss having fun with you.” She had said it. She had summed up their relationship in six words. That was their relationship. Having fun. But it was different… This wasn’t when you were in elementary school and your best friend was who you played with on the playground… But at the same time, it was. She was the girl he would always pick to play with first. She was the one that made his recess come alive. She was the one that he would always share his ideas with, no matter how silly. She was that girl, that one that believed that she and he could do great things with office supplies. The one that would gladly be caught red-handed with him if she had to be. The risk was always worth it with Pam. He missed having fun with her too. He missed seeing that smile. The prankster smile, as he called it.

Cause I love to see her smile back at me
And I know she is happy

He got out of his car and took a deep breath, the vision of her smiling face stained in his mind. He raced up the stairs, into the office, and was surprised to see that she wasn’t sitting at reception. He looked around the room for her, before walking towards the conference room. Through the blinds, he saw a small piece of her shirt and he smiled to himself. There she was. The woman he wanted. He turned the doorknob and stuck his head inside, apologized to the camera more for formalities than anything else, and turned to the woman of his dreams. He smiled at the thought that she wasn’t dolled up. She was just his Pam. She was the woman that threw on whatever was clean and comfortable in the morning, put her hair back in a barrette and walked out the door. That was his girl. He tried to speak once, but his mouth didn’t open. Then the words pushed their way out of his mouth with a force too strong for anyone to stop them. “Pam.” Her name sounded wonderful on his lips, he realized. Three letters, when put together, tasted sweet in his mouth. “Um, are you free for dinner tonight.” He had asked her. He waited for his response. “Yes.” One word, simple, but beautiful. The one word he had needed to hear from her. “Alright, then it’s a date.” He had smiled when he saw it. He’d skipped down the hall, into the elevator, and leaned back against it, a huge smile on his face. He could only imagine the smile that was on her face.

Maybe it's her touch, the feel of her hands
When she puts her tiny fingers in mine

Jim opened the door to his car and smiled to himself. He glanced up to the building where he’d left her, and was surprised to see her staring at him out the window. He smiled up at her and waved, and was relieved when she did the same back. She placed her hands on the glass, as if to say, ‘don’t go.’ He put a few fingers up, telling her how long it would be until he saw her again. She smiled at that, and he got in his car and drove toward his home. As he drove, he thought about that night. His mind could hardly get away from Pam, not even for a moment. He thought about what she would wear, how beautiful she would look. Just like always. He thought about the smile that would invade her face, as it always did when she was with him. He thought about what they would talk about, how it would feel to be riding in a car with the woman of his dreams knowing that she was reality. His dreams all came true. He thought about how she would reach across the seat and touch his fingers, how an electrifying shock would overwhelm them both. He thought about how he would hold her hands while he drove, while they walked, while they ate dinner. How eventually, when they did have to break off for necessity reasons, they would both prolong it. He thought about how all he wanted to do was hold her, to know she was his. How he longed for her fingers to touch him in a way that told the world he was hers. He thought about how perfect her hands would fit inside his. He almost forgot to breathe.

Maybe it's her eyes gently searching my soul
Still nothing stirs me like when I see those lips roll
And I see her smile

He thought about how it would feel to be able to look at her without worrying that she might catch him. How wonderful it would be to look into her eyes and read her thoughts and feelings. How unguarded they would become in each other’s presence. He thought about how she would look at him, how she would find out so much about him without either of them having to say a word. He thought about how she would smile when he told her how he felt; how she would smile when he “accidentally” grazed her foot under the table. How she would smile when he was at the door. And as that smile stained his face, his phone rang. He looked down and there was her name, on his phone, more beautiful than any other name he’d seen before. And her picture. A picture he’d secretly taken of her one day when she’d been making a funny face. A cute funny face. He picked up his phone and smiled.

“Dunder-Mifflin, this is Jim,” he sing-songed into the phone. He could hear her smile on the other line. He could even imagine her smile as she sat at her desk, hearing his voice on the other end.

“That would be my job, Halpert.” He smiled at the demanding accusation in her voice. “So, here’s what I’m thinking.” He opened his mouth to say something silly, but she cut him off. “It’s seven o’clock somewhere, right?”

“Yeah, I think in Argentina it’s seven o’clock,” he replied, laughing.

“Well, today we live in Argentina,” she said smiling. “I’m leaving right now.”

He laughed. “The front door is unlocked.”

Cause I love to see her smile back at me
And I know she is happy

He sat on his bed, facing the nightstand where she had once sat. He pretended to type, but really, he was just staring there, as if magically, she’d appear. He’d scruffed up his hair for her; he knew she’d hated his haircut. He’d changed into jeans and a nice shirt. Pam always liked him to dress comfortably. He sat on his bed, facing the window, when all of a sudden, the world went black in front of him. He felt something over his eyes and he smiled. He took in a new scent, but a familiar scent. He put his hands over hers and smiled. He felt the bed shift under him as she sat down, letting her hands fall to her lap. He looked over at her and smiled. She looked beautiful. More beautiful than she’d ever looked before. He couldn’t stop the words from coming out of his mouth.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered to her. She smiled up at him, and he could tell she believed him. She rested her head on his shoulder and he looked down at her, smiling. “Hey.” Her eyes found his and he whispered to her again, “I love you.”

He watched as she smiled, first with her eyes, then with her mouth. It wasn’t just a normal smile, it was a smile that started from the very core of her being. A smile that entangled him and made him want to hold on to the moment forever because he could see the happiness that started so deep inside her and radiated so far past her.

She looked up at him and kissed him lightly before whispering back, “I love you too.”