To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: My eye is sweating!

I had a tickle match with my cat this morning. I now have cat hairs on my back and scratches all over my back. The sad thing is, my cat won… My cat has paws. How does something with paws win the tickling game over someone with fingers? You have five minutes to offer an explanation.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Red Rover, Red Rover, send Kevin right over!

I need more information. Was this Vitamin or Whisker? What parts was the cat tickling, and where were you attempting to tickle? How was the match judged?

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Gym key

This is cutting into your five minutes you know? It was Vitamin, this morning at 07:21. We were on my bed, in my room. I was wearing my red robe; Vitamin was naked like most cats are. Vitamin was tickling my sides; I was tickling her stomach. The match was judged by loudest laughter.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Page 7 of 7 is printing

So you’re telling me that you lost a tickling match to Vitamin? Vitamin is your weaker cat, according to Dwight. And, can cats even laugh?

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Minerals

Yes, I lost a tickling match to Vitamin! Why is that so hard for you to believe? And how does Dwight know which cat of mine is the weakest?

They meow…

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: home stereo

You lost a tickling match to Vitamin because she can meow louder than you can?

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Queue

So, dinner with the family tonight is at La Fiesta at 7 PM. Then we’re doing a late movie around 9. I’m really excited you’re going to be there!

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Wee World

Oh, about that… I can’t come. Mark just told me today that we’re having a party at our house tonight. I didn’t have any say in planning it or anything, but I’m kind of required to go. Stupid roommates.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: cousins

What? Why does he expect he can just plan a party without telling you and expect you to be there on a minute’s notice?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Nannying

It’s just a get together for a few friends of ours. I’m sure he just thought I would be free, and if we wanted to do something, I could just invite you over.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Nutmeg

So let me get this straight. You’re standing me up for dinner with my parents to go to a small party that your roommate has put on last minute for your friends?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Emails

Pam, it’s important I make sure they don’t wreck my house, haha.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Eyelashes

Wow. You really have no idea how pissed off or hurt I am right now, do you?

I can’t talk to you right now. If you change your mind, we’ll be at Cugino’s at 6:30. I really hope you think about what you’re doing. And please know that it’s going to take a lot for me to want to talk to you again.

Laura wanted you to know your new name is Assface Halpert. I tend to agree.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Babysitting

I understand you’re upset, I just don’t understand why you’re so upset? It’s just dinner and a movie.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Brown dogs

I’m upset because you promised me we would go out tonight with my parents, and then your roommate plans a party, and you feel that his party is more important than me. Even though you already said you would go out with us a week and a half ago. You really can’t understand why that would upset me?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Wild n Crazy Kids

I guess I didn’t realize how big of a deal it was to you. I’m sorry.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Life

Sorry doesn’t cut it, mister. And it being a big deal to me is not the issue at all. It’s not the dinner that’s the issue. The issue is that you chose something else over me after you told me you’d be there. THAT is the issue. I told my parents you were coming, and do you have any idea how crappy it will be to have to tell them you’re not? After all they’ve heard about you. And, how do you think it makes me feel knowing that the one person I trust more than anyone else, and the person I’m thinking of marrying and spending my life with, would rather have a small get together at his house two hours after his roommate arranges it than go out to dinner with my family. Is that really where I rank on your list, Jim?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Red font

Pam, of course you rank higher than Mark or parties on my list. I love you… And I’m sure your mom and dad would understand. We can still all get together for the rest of the weekend.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Cross stitching

Well, I’m not seeing the actions of your love or priorities. And I’ve learned to believe actions over words, so you better step it up really soon.

The issue, once again, isn’t whether or not they’ll understand. And don’t you dare try and strike a deal with me. I’m through with the deals, Jim. If I did the same thing to you, you would be pissed. You made a commitment to me. You can’t just go back on that because in your mind something better comes along. Not only is it rude, but it’s hurtful.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Flip Flops

I’m sorry, Pam… I didn’t realize that this dinner meant so much to you, and I didn’t realize that I was sending you that message… You do mean more to me than anything, and I know I was being insensitive and crappy, and I’m sorry. I really just thought that you wanted me to spend time with your family at some point this weekend, I didn’t realize it was a tonight thing. I thought you’d actually have fun if it was just the three of you. I’m sorry.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Van Gogh

How many times are you going to say I’m sorry? Jesus, Jim.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: John Cusack

As many as it takes?

What movie are we seeing?

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Karma

My parents and I are seeing the new Julia Roberts movie.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Ho HoHo

I hate that you’re so mad at me.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Sketch

Well, I hate that you hurt my feelings. I’m going to lunch alone today. I need to sketch. Maybe when I come back I won’t be mad at you any longer.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Twirling

You’re at lunch, sketching… but I wanted to let you know, if you get back before I do, that I’m not going to the party. Because I love you, and I want to be with you.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Monkeys

So, you planning on just sitting at home watching TV all night? I heard the Phillies are playing.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Mute

Well, I’m planning on going to eat at La Fiesta tonight at 7… I’m probably eating solo, I guess. Then afterwards I was going to see that new Julia Roberts movie.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Task menu

Any reason why you’re doing all of that solo?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: 2nd Gear

I really screwed up, Pam. My girlfriend’s parents are coming into town this weekend and she asked me a while ago if I’d be free for dinner and a movie with them, and I said I’d go, and then Mark called me and asked me to this party, and I said yes, without thinking. I was so insensitive to her feelings and she’s really upset, and she should be… So, I’m going solo because my plans were to go to dinner and a movie tonight, and I’m not going to break them. I guess I’ll just sit at the opposite side of the restaurant and watch from afar.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Bananas

Did you tell your girlfriend all of that? I mean, I’m sure you threw out the I’m sorry’s like they were spoiled milk, but there’s a difference in saying “I’m sorry” and really apologizing and understanding the other person… Try that.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Edison High School

So, you think if I tell her that I understand I hurt her because I chose something else over her and that I did it without really thinking about it, but I love her and want to be with her over everyone else that she’ll understand and let me come to dinner with her? It really hurts knowing that I hurt her. I never want to do that.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Gemini Capricorn

Well, if your girlfriend doesn’t accept that and doesn’t let you sit at her table, you can come sit at mine. I’ll be there with my family.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Daggers

Hey, you didn’t run off to the bathroom to see the toilet water swirl.

Can I see you in the break room please?

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Peacocks

Thank you, Jim. I guess I really just needed to hear you say you loved me and chose me. You know how insecure I can get.

Question Nineteen: Why do you love me?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Magnets

Why do I love you?

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Polka dots

Yes. Why do you love me? What about me makes you love me?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Hex

You’re asking me to explain my love to you?

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Kung Fu

You sure are fighting it a lot.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: The Sixth Sense

I’m just not sure I can explain love… That’s all. I’ll try, for you, though.

I love the way your curls bounce when you laugh. I love how your eyes shine. I love your smile. I love that you can make me smile by just looking at me, or make me laugh by just talking. You have a great sense of humor. I love that you are a deep thinker and that you really consider the sides of every story. I love that you reflect back on your life, but still seem happier to be here than there. I love the way you laugh. I love the way you touch me when you laugh, the way you look at me. I love that you can tell if I’m being serious or joking by simply studying my face. I love that you sketch and draw at work and every other time you possibly can. I love that you are freaking amazing at laser tag. I love that you get in tickle fights with your cats. I love that you help people even when they hurt you. I love how accepting you are of everyone, no matter what they do. I love that I don’t scare you off. I love that every night before I go to bed I get a text message from you, and I love that there is always one there before I wake up in the morning too. I love that you can’t ever be the first one to hang up. I love that you can be such a little kid, yet such an adult too. I love that you are there for everyone, all the time, no matter what. And I love your heart. I love that you can take on everyone else’s pain and think of them first. You aren’t satisfied being happy unless everyone else is. I love that about you. And there are a billion other things I love about you that I can’t even start to describe because I don’t even know how to explain them myself.

And don’t ask me why I love you. I just love you because you’re you and I can’t help it. It’s just always been there. That’s like asking the sun why it shines.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Lime

I hate you. Please bring me a Kleenex. Um, a few Kleenex… The whole box of Kleenex.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Kelly

I didn’t mean to make you cry…

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Racquetball

Well, you’re doing a really good job of it today, honey.

I guess it’s my turn, huh?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Blonde hair

I wasn’t really expecting you to answer the question.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Purple pants

Why not?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Chalkboards

You haven’t told me you loved me.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Jellybeans

Come to my desk.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Rod Stewart

How can I do anything but smile after that? Add that to the list of things I love about you: I love how beautiful your voice is when you tell me you love me. I love that you kiss me and don’t care who sees it.

Though I’m pretty sure everyone knows we’re dating now.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Clifford the big red dog

We almost got away with it! We would have if Dwight hadn’t barked at us in front of everyone!!

I love you. Is it as good in type?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Female

Oh my! Beesly, that was awesome! Dwight barking!? Where have we heard that one before?

It’s just as good. I’ll take it anyway you want to say it.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Fingers

Written on the side of a dumpster?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Apples

That would be wonderful.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Crucifix

On a roller coaster right before the big drop?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Cameras

That would put butterflies in my stomach.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Scranton

In a text message in the middle of the day?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Refried Beans

Didn’t I look like I just enjoyed that one?

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Champagne

Written across a ‘Color of Pam’s Eyes Green’ t-shirt with silver writing that I wear on a date?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Red Sweaters

That would be easy on the eyes.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject You Tube

What about written out in an email that starts like this:

I don’t think I could ever pick out the single things that I love about you because I love you. Every piece that makes up who you are, I love. I love your sense of humor and that you find such fun in making Dwight look even more idiotic. I love that when you kiss me I can feel how much you love me and want me. I love that you listen to me, I mean, really listen to me. I love that you can sense that something’s wrong before I even know it is. I love that you know me so well. I love that you don’t care how many times I screw up. I love the way you grin that goofy grin. The way your face is always lopsided (it’s so adorable, Jim!). I love that you get nervous telling me how you feel about me, and I love that you are obsessed with your nieces. I love that you walk into all of my jokes. I love that I’m not nervous at all about my parents meeting you. I love that the promises you make with your mouth are really promises that you intend to keep. I love that you want to marry me and have babies with me. I love that you always have to tell me what you had for dinner because you think I care. I love the way you mock offense. I love that you are caring, and sweet, and that you make sure I know how much you love me. I love that you never leave me. But most of all, I love that you stink at laser tag.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Dinner

Oh, yeah, that one definitely works.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Fuzzies

What about tonight… after the movie, under the covers… whispered in your ear like a secret?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Aviators

Oh yes…. Under the covers? Tell me more about that.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Toenails

Well, I was thinking…

Maybe you could come over after we drop off my parents at the hotel tonight…

I just think I might have a little bit of trouble getting out of my outfit.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Oreos

Oh? Tell me more…

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Blushing

Well, I was thinking perhaps after you help me out of mine, I can help you out of yours… We can do a little bit of kissing and… ahem, other things, and crawl under the covers wrapped up in each other.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Yummy

That sounds like great fun.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Tampons

I only have one requirement.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Monsters

Oh, what’s that?

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Halo 2

The clothes I help you take off better not even graze your body until at least tomorrow morning, if not later. Or never.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Newspaper

An ‘I love you’ and a promise of sex, all in the same day? God, baby, sign me up!

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Brake fluid

You are so excited right now! I love what I can do to you!

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Lightning

Right now, what you’re doing to me hurts a bit…

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Orange

Poor baby… Can I kiss it and make it better?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Fifth Amendment

That's so cruel…

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Emo

Man, you haven’t gotten up in a while…. Will you go get me a grape soda, honey?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Gates

I hate you….

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Khaki pants

But… I love you.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Brown buttons

I love you, too.