Okay, so I know I fell asleep on you last night. Sorry. At least I was in my jammies so it wasn’t too bad… But yeah, thanks for letting me crash at your house. Even if it did make for a hectic morning. But yeah, I loved the movie. You are right, it was pretty swell. I might take it on the island with me… But then I would have to give up Fargo, so I’m not so sure, what do you think?

Song was good. Everything was pretty acceptable, actually. I think that I could be okay with your choices. And c’mon, did my macaroni and cheese not change your favorite food choice? I mean, honestly. It’s like an orgasm in your mouth. Wow, I can’t believe I just said it. But I have a rule when I’m typing emails to you. I type what I think and I don’t delete, so there…. Wow.

Okay, I hope you had a good morning so far. Jan keeps calling. Michael told me not to answer, but I can’t do that, right? Wouldn’t I get fired?

To: Pam Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Say everything

Wow. Is it an orgasm in your mouth or a pamgasm? I’m not really sure? It definitely was good, though.

Glad my choices are acceptable.

Uh, yeah, I wouldn’t just ignore Jam’s calls… Even though Michael is your boss, she’s REALLY your boss. I’m sure that wouldn’t look so good?

Can I have my next question please? I’m so bored.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: She’s not afraid, she just likes to use a nightlight.

Okay, as much as it pains me to admit it, I think it’s a pamgasm. Or maybe a jimgasm. Who knows. It’s somethin’, though.

Okay, I will be answering phones all day… So I guess this question is the quickest one I can come up with.

Question Four: 6 Guilty Pleasures! Go!

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: O-S-C-A-R M-A-Y-E-R

Wow, that’s a tough one, Pampons. Let’s see... Wow, these will be embarrassing.

1. The Bachelor

2. Asian buffets

3. Rockapella

4. Dawson’s Creek

5. Jelly Beans

6. YouTube couple videos

Wow, I feel so pathetic now…

From: Pamela Beesly
To: Jim Halpert
Subject: Bob the builder! Yes we can!

Wow, Jim. Impressive list, but I need to know more on… 1-6. All of them are fantastic. Okay, thanks.

Not acceptable until I hear my explanation.

From: Jim Halpert
To: Pamela Beesly
Subject: I can’t

You need to know more? Jesus, Beesly. You’re trying to kill me here.

1. The Bachelor- Honestly, you’re going to make me say this? Katy used to make me watch it with her, and at first I enjoyed it because it was fun to make fun of the catty girls who fell in love with The Bachelor on their first date with 21 other girls, but then you kinda get invested into the girls, and I want them to be happy… And I want to go on dates with some of them. And I hate seeing them cry… And then they tease you with those little teasers and talk about how someone’s going home and you just have to watch it! I know you watch it!!!!

2. Asian Buffets- Wow. Who DOESN’T love a good asian buffet? Their donuts are awesome!!!

3. Rockapella- I know. Shut up. At least it’s not barbershop. But seriously, rock acapella is really cool… And they sing good songs. Happy songs, you know? And I’m seriously impressed by how awesome they are. Vocal stylingsamazing.

4. Dawson’s Creek- Please. Joey and Pacey and Dawson and Jen? Who doesn’t want to know what happens with the love triangle they each have? I’m just waiting for Jen and Joey to get it on because, hello! No, but I want Joey and Dawson to just end up together. They’re so perfect for each other, and I know the series is over and everything, but still… I don’t know!

5. Jelly Beans- They’re at your desk. I love to eat them. What else can you say about jelly beans?

6. YouTube couple videos- Do you even know what I’m talking about? Those videos people make of their favorite TV couples with clips from the episodes and the songs playing in the back? Right now, my favorites are the Luke/Lorelai ones from Gilmore Girls. They’re so good! You know you watch them too.

Can you please put me out of my misery? And remember, we can’t mention any of this stuff to anyone else… Dwight might pull out his gaydar pretty soon…

From: Pamela Beesly
To: Jim Halpert
Subject: I really hate you.

I just have one more question.

Who do you want to marry the bachelor? I am giggling like a school girl over this. You are so dorky!! It’s cute.

1. Watching Gymnastics on TV- Those girls are awesome. They can do flips and straddles and all sorts of awesome stuff with their bodies!

2. Wham!- Wake me up before you go-go? Oh, come on, is there anything better than that?

3. Asian buffets- Jim! I never knew you liked them too! Why did we not talk about this? If we get nothing out of this little game, at least we now have a common guilty pleasure and we can go out to lunch together! Yay!

4. Danielle Steel novels- I know one of your guilty pleasures is really Playboy. Well, Danielle Steel is kind of like playboy, except she writes the sex instead of having it. Oh man, it’s fantastic. (blushing now).

5. My diary- I write it in every day. So sue me.

6. Legally Blonde- Shut up.

I could go crawl under a rock now, thanks.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Okay

I want DeAnna to win. Sue me. It’s on tonight though! There are only three women left! I like them all though, so I’m not sure what I’m gonna do.

Hey, I like watching gymnastics too… I don’t think it counts as a guilty pleasure. Everybody likes that, don’t they?

Wham! Seriously, Pam? And Danielle Steel?

Legally Blonde. Hah. I heard people that like Legally Blonde are the cheerleader types and are “really nice” and have “an adorable car”.

You are awesome with the asian buffets, though. Not gonna lie.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Wham!

Wow. I can’t believe you know I said that about her…. Sorry… I just didn’t like her, you know? Roy sure did though.

Yes, everyone likes gymnastics. Not a guilty pleasure, but it is for me.

Don’t knock my Wham! Or my Danielle! A girl needs somethin’.

Question: Do you want asian buffet and The Bachelor watching company tonight? I’d like to see this DeAnna chick. You know, get to know what your “type” is. We could meet at Emerald Garden at 6:30… If you want, I mean.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: The eagle has landed!

Fact: Yes.