Beesly, where have you been? Geez. It’s been like a week since you emailed me, and I’m having a pretty hard time without your hourly emails. I mean, honestly. Do you expect me to make it through a week without your emails? You must be trying to kill me.

How was your visit with your mom? I know you went there last weekend. Does she live in Mars or something? She must.

I brought you something. It’s underneath your desk. It might smell a little rotten though… I brought it for you a few days ago.

COME BAAAAAAACK!

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Want some cheese with that whine?

Oh my gosh, Jim, you are such a baby! I’m so sorry I didn’t email you while I was on my vacation!! Do you really expect me to come into the office every morning and send you an email? It’s only Tuesday. I emailed you last on Friday afternoon. I’m really, really sorry for hurting you. It won’t happen again. Maybe. If you’re lucky.

My visit with my mom was great. I told her about our little game we’re playing, and she gave me a few good questions to ask you, so I might pull those out. She said to tell you hello.

By “something” do you mean this half-eaten fortune cookie with a fortune that says: Today you will be very successful… And then handwritten at the bottom it says “in bed”? Is that what you mean? If so, thank you so much. Please help me find the person that I’m supposed to fulfill this prophecy with.

I’M BAAAAAAAAAAACK!

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Muahaha

I am not a baby. I just missed you yesterday. You missed Michael coming in wearing an apron that said “Mom’s best helper.” I think he bought it at Spencer’s Gifts for his birthday.

I’m curious, how did I come up when you were talking to your Mom?

Yes, that was the something. And the person that’s going to help you is named Freddie and he’s located in your dresser drawer.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: I hate you

I can’t believe you tried to rename Carlos! And to Freddie! Honestly, Jim, does Freddie sound like the type of vibrator that can get that done? I can’t believe I just owned up to that.

My mom asked about you. Why?

Haha on the apron. You’re so funny. Which dining establishment will we be enjoying our midday meal at today?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: I am not a machine.

I hope you have fun with Carlos tonight :). If you’re glowing in the morning, I’ll know what’s up.

Uhh, why was your mom asking about me? How does she even know about me? You just made it sound like I was common conversation between you two.

I actually have to run a few errands today during lunch. I brought mine. The Ham and Cheese.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Hooters

What errands do you have to run, Jim?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Cheez Its

Are you seriously asking for my shopping list?

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Peter Pan

Yes, I seriously am. Seriously.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Battlestar Gallactica

Okay, I have to run and pick up Fabric Softener, a birthday card for my little sister, and a Kit Kat bar. And I have to run by the pharmacy, and go pick up my new guitar.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Fabric Softener?

You use fabric softener?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Uh.

What? You don’t.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: My mistake

No, I do.

Question six: What is your most missed memory?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Hmm…

My most missed memory?

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Guitar

Yes… As in, the memory you miss the most.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Second Life

I guess I have to say my most missed memory was a few years ago. My best friend and I went out to Lake Scranton one Saturday after he’d broken up with his girlfriend and we played Frisbee all day long. We went for a jog around the lake and then we went out for pizza afterwards. I don’t know why, it was just a pretty day and I had fun… I guess.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Curious…

Hmm, that’s interesting… Because I have a memory just like that one… Except I went to Lake Scranton with a coworker of mine right after I broke off my engagement, and he was really sweet. We sat on the ground and talked for a little bit. We fed the ducks our sandwiches and went hungry. We played Frisbee (and I won), and then we went for a jog around the lake, and even though he offered me his iPod, we just ran around and talked. Then we went out to Alfredo’s right afterwards and laughed some more. I really liked that day because not only was it sunny out, but it was really fun and I laughed a lot.

Doesn’t that sound like yours?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Ego equals shot

Wow. Is that all I am to you, a coworker?

And yeah, it does sound like me.

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Bread

No, it’s not.

Is that really why it’s your favorite memory? Because it was sunny?

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: YOU HAD SEX WITH STANLEY? OMG

No, that’s not why it’s my favorite memory. It’s my favorite memory because that’s the day you officially became my best friend.

What am I?

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Ohh convicts!

Officially? Did we cut ourselves open and do the Ya-Ya or something? Sign a paper?

A very good friend. Maybe even the best.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: Disgusting

Yes, we did. And now my blood runs through your veins, and your blood runs through mine.

Now, was my answer accepted?

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Out of paper, out of stock

It was accepted, yes.

My answer: A friend of mine and I really just can’t stand this one guy we know… So one day, we got to work really early and moved his desk into the bathroom. We set up his computer and his phone and everything… We even gave our friend Kevin a whole box of dunkin donuts so he might have to go to the bathroom… Then when this guy got here, he freaked out and we just laughed as he spent half the day working in his office, afraid that if he moved his desk he might miss a few calls.

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: ALWAYS, ALWAYS get chili on your nachos bell grande

Hey, you want to come with me on my errands? We can stop by Wendys or something and pick you up some lunch?

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: I don't wanna be a chicken, don't wanna be a duck.

Yes! MANDARIN ORANGE SALAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

To: Pamela Beesly
From: Jim Halpert
Subject: WOW!

That’s totally number eight on my guilty pleasures list.

Now?

To: Jim Halpert
From: Pamela Beesly
Subject: Rosie O'Donnell!

and Then?

and Later?

Okay. Now works.