Chapter 2

Pam looked at Jim as though he had gone insane. "Jim…what are you doing? You just threw away a whole lot of money. Well, a whole lot of fake money."

Jim took Pam’s hand, "Well now I can always boast that I broke the fake bank at Dunder-Mifflin. That’s got to count for something, right? But that’s not important right now. I have to talk to you, and I can’t do it here." Michael was singing "the Gambler" again. Apparently it was the only gambling related song he knew. Not that he actually knew it, if the words he was singing were any indication. "Let’s go outside."

Pam hesitated, "Together? I’m not sure that’s such a good idea."

Please God, just let her come along before I change my mind about this whole-misguided idea, Jim prayed. But aloud he said, "Look, Pam, what difference does it make? In two days I’ll be on my way to Australia, and when I come back, I’m off to New York. In the meanwhile you’ll be getting…well, what the hell, just let ‘em talk for once."

Pam decided that it would cause less attention if she didn’t argue, so she followed Jim outside to a small garden at the side of the Hall. Pam’s wedding photographer, a family friend who knew the place, had declared it the perfect spot for photos before the reception. Fortunately, Jim didn’t know this. It was a warm night for early June, but not yet muggy. A half moon shone through the trees.

"So…what’s this all about?’ Pam demanded, though for some reason her heart was thudding so loud she was surprised Jim couldn’t hear it.

"I…I just wanted a chance to talk to you privately before I went away. I thought that this might be my last chance. I wasn’t going to say anything, I swear, but then my number came up! I mean I couldn’t believe it.. what were the chances, you know? So I knew it was a sign. A sign that I had to speak."

Pam stood frozen in the moonlight. Oh my God, she thought in a panic, this was it. This was the conversation. The one she had been both dreading and anticipating for months. Unless, of course, it wasn’t. What if he had dragged her out here to discuss some farewell prank for Dwight? Oh God. And if it was the conversation…what was she supposed to do? To think? And the timing…Oh God, the timing absolutely sucked!

"Listen, "Jim began, "I know my timing sucks. My fault, entirely. If I had just spoken up at the damn booze cruise…but I was a total wuss," Jim grimaced at the memory, "And then Roy made his big move, and set the date, and you looked so happy that night. So excited. What could I say?" He looked at Pam. She had backed up against the large boxwood hedge that bordered the little garden, and her eyes were wide with...what? Shock? But how could she be shocked? The whole situation had been so obvious to him for months...years even. But whatever she was feeling, it was obvious that she wasn’t going to help him out here. But at least she hadn’t run screaming from the garden…yet.

He cleared his throat; "Well part of the problem was that you’ve always been engaged, since I met you, so it was kind of hard to get passed that, you know? But we hit it off, you and I, right from that very first day. When Michael made all those sexist jokes, and Dwight gave you that list of rules, like he was Moses imparting the Ten Commandments."

Pam began to smile, in spite of herself, at the thought of that awful first day. Jim had been a friend and an ally right from the start. A friend. That’s all.

"And we became friends. Right?" Pam nodded. "And in our own way we got back at Michael and Dwight, especially Dwight, and the whole Dunder Mifflin experience." The sounds of voices from the front of the hall told Jim that Casino Night was officially over and everybody was coming out. Damn. Time was rapidly running out; time to cut to the chase.

"Pam, I don’t know how else to say this but just to say it. I can’t be your friend anymore. Not like we were before. And not just because I’m moving to New York. Didn’t you ever ask yourself why I was going all the way to freaking Australia, when I’ve never even left Pennsylvania before? Or why I planned to be away for your wedding? I mean if we were just friends it’s kind of a rotten thing to do, right?"

Pam nodded, remembering the hurt she had suppressed when he told her his plans. And the hurt she had felt tonight when he announced his plans to move to New York. Despite her best efforts, she felt tears welling up in her eyes. No! This was not happening! He was not going to see her cry. She started to move past him, to leave this garden. To go home, where everything was easy and planned, and predictable. In desperation, he put out his hand to stop her, and she suddenly found herself facing him, mere inches away, his hands on her arms. In the moonlight, she could see that he had tears in his eyes, also.

"Please let me finish, Pam. Then you can go, stay, whatever you want to do, okay? Pam, I love you. It’s not just a crush, never has been. I lied about that, after Michael opened his big mouth. It’s killing me that you’re marrying Roy, and I bought that stupid ticket to Australia just to get as far away from your wedding as I could. Because I just couldn’t do it, Pam. I just couldn’t sit there in St. Mary’s and watch you throw away your whole future on a guy like Roy. A guy who’s gonna make sure that you spend your whole life here in Scranton, as a receptionist, when you could have had the whole world. Pam…remember the internship in New York? The house with the terrace that you’ve always wanted? "

Suddenly, Pam put her hands on Jim’s shoulders and pushed him away, as angry as Jim had ever seen her. He didn’t even know she could be like this, shaking with fury.

"Oh, is that what you’re going to give me, Jim?" she spat in a furious whisper, horribly conscious of the people leaving the party, " The world? A house with a terrace? You going to make all my dreams come true? How dare you! All these months I have been waiting…since before the booze cruise, in fact, waiting for some word from you, something, anything that would change my mind about this wedding. The ‘save the dates’ went out, the invitations went out, and did you say anything? No...You had card parties and played tricks on Dwight and went out on dates and planned trips to the other side of the world. And never said one word! And now four days before my wedding, suddenly you love me? Is that fair? What am I supposed to do now? Fall into your arms, break my engagement, cancel all of the plans my Mother has been mooning over for months, tell the relatives to go home, move out of Roy’s apartment, all the while, by the way, you’re sitting on a beach in Australia? You can just go to hell, Jim Halpert!" She burst into tears.

Jim was stunned into horrified silence. He knew that the only reason she wasn’t leaving the garden was that she didn’t want to be seen in her present condition by the people who were still milling about the entrance. She turned away from him and covered her face with her hands. Jim literally didn’t know what to do. He was afraid to touch her, or to speak. He had already fouled things up so terribly that any movement might just compound the disaster. Finally, after a long agonizing moment, he couldn’t bear it any longer.

"Pam," he croaked, the tears streaming from his own eyes, "I’m so sorry. You are absolutely right. I’ve been a fool and a coward. And not too bright, either. Look…I know I’m just a salesman for a third rate Paper Company in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Even when I move to New York, I’ll probably always be a small town kind of guy. Nobody special. But I have dreams, you know? And the best part of those dreams has always involved you. But, I swear, Pam, I never wanted my dreams at the expense of yours. And if your dream is really to marry Roy, and stay here in Scranton, well then, I say go for it. I just want you to be happy, and to live the life you want and deserve. That’s all. And it’s okay, Pam…in a couple of days I’ll be gone, out of your life, and you won’t have to worry about me. Okay? I’m really sorry. Pam…are you all right?"

He touched her shoulder, gently, wondering if she would ever forgive him. At his touch, she turned around abruptly, and Jim found himself holding her in his arms, while she cried softly on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and just held her, stroking her hair, wishing he knew the magic words that would bring them back to the way they had been before tonight.

"J..Jim?" her voice was so soft, he could hardly hear her.

"What is it, Pam?" He whispered back. She didn’t sound angry any longer, thank God.

"D..did you really mean it? I mean really?" she looked up at him, "about loving me, that is?"

Jim smiled, his heart pounding, and gently lifting up her chin, he kissed her. "Absolutely."

"Oh God. How am I going to tell Roy?" She wrapped her arms around Jim’s neck and kissed him, the way she had never let herself dream of doing, and he kissed her back, the way he had always dreamed of doing.

After several long minutes, they pulled apart, reluctantly, "What in heaven’s name are we going to do?" wailed Pam, "about the wedding?"

"Listen, " Jim said, except for the crickets, it was quiet. "I think everybody’s gone. Unless, of course, they’re all standing on the other side of this bush waiting to jump out and yell ‘surprise.’" He was giddy with relief and happiness, and almost wished that everybody from Dunder-Mifflin was there to witness this moment. But as they crept quietly out of the garden, they saw that the parking lot was empty, except for their two cars, parked side by side. Jim laughed, "Thank goodness, this doesn’t look a bit suspicious!"

"Maybe they were all too drunk to have noticed, "Pam giggled. Then she sobered up, immediately. "God…I am going to have to tell Roy immediately. I can’t let him go to work tomorrow…and hear it from every guy in the warehouse!"

"I’ll come with you. Right now. We’ll tell him together."

"Are you sure? I know Roy would never hit me, but I can’t make any promises about what he might do to you."

"It’s okay. You forget…I’ve been trained by Dwight Schrute, Purple belt! " Jim flexed his biceps and tried to look fierce. It wasn’t a big success. Pam shook her head. Oh, they were in so much trouble.

"But what am I going to do working in the same building with him every day? It’s going to be a disaster."

"That part’s easy. Come with me to New York. We’ll get you into that internship. I’m starting at Corporate right after I get back from…oh crap! I totally forgot about my stupid trip to Australia! Stupid non-refundable ticket that cost half my savings!"

"Well," said Pam with mock solemnity, "I don’t want to put my dreams ahead of yours. If it’s really your dream to go to Australia, then I say go for it."

"Hell no, " said Jim. "Did you know it’s winter there now? And it’s a really, really long flight. I’ll just have to call Quantas tomorrow and throw myself on their mercy. I’ll make up a dying relative or something. If worse comes to worse, it’s only money. The sooner I can start in New York the better. For both of us."

"What am I going to do tonight? Once I talk to Roy, I can’t stay there and my folks have rented out my room. "

Jim thought a bit. "Well, this might sound a little sketchy, but you remember Bill? One of my roommates? Tall, skinny guy? He got a job in Pittsburgh, moved out last week. His room is available at the moment. No strings. I promise. The door locks and everything. Unless you want me to bring you over to Angela’s or one of your girlfriend’s houses, whatever you want, Pam."

Pam laughed, "Certainly not Angela’s. Have you ever seen her place? It’s like a convent. With cats. And I don’t exactly feel like explaining this to any of my bridesmaids tonight, so I’ll take you up on your offer. I trust you. But we’d better get going. Roy’s probably back from his parent’s house by now, and will wonder what’s keeping me."

Jim brought Pam over to her car( Roy’s car, actually) and helped her inside. "Okay, Pam. You lead off, and I’ll follow."

"Give me a kiss for luck? We’re gonna need it."

"Sure thing, " He leaned in and kissed her, and whispered in her ear, "Just remember what the great philosopher, Michael Scott, once said to me on the freezing deck of a mighty ship, he said, ‘Never give up. Never surrender.’ See you at your place. I love you." He closed Pam’s door and went to his own car. A few minutes later both cars left the parking lot of the VFW Hall in Scranton Pennsylvania and drove off into the darkness of a June night.

The end