Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Authors Note: So this is just the groundwork for the actual story, this is filled with angst towards the end but no worries. It won’t be all sad and angsty. Just wait for the next chapters, they’ll be up soon. Promise.
-------------------------------
Rain pattered against the roof as Pam quietly made her way out of her daughter’s bedroom; Gracie fast asleep. It was hard to believe that she had what she had always been afraid to hope for. Seven years ago, when Pam had found out she was pregnant shortly after she and Jim had begun dating she was sure that her dreams were all shot right out the window. After all she and Jim had not been together very ,long and though she knew he would make a great father and do the honorable thing of being involved with the baby there was also a part of her which was terrified that he would just want out. That all of this would be too much for him. And she would be left on her own, to raise their child.
There was no way she could afford to take her art classes and raise a baby, no man would be interested in a woman who had a child, combine that with the fact that she was no where near ready to be a mom; it was clear that her life was over. No use in hoping for a great job, that house with the terrace, and of course Jim. No, she would have to keep her receptionists job in order to support her and her child, art classes were out the window. And that great apartment she had, was defiantly too small for her and a baby, she would have to find something a bit bigger and cheaper.
“Hey, she all tucked in?” Jim asked walking quietly out of his son’s bedroom, pulling the door quietly shut behind him and bringing Pam back to reality.
“Yeah she’s asleep.” She replied, a large smile forming on her face as she turned to look him in the eye. No, seven years ago when she found out she was pregnant she could not have guessed her life would end up this way.
She now had everything she’d ever wanted. The amazing husband, the four wonderful children, and a job she loved. Pamela Beesly-Halpert was no longer a receptionist for a small paper company. No, she was now a partner in an advertising agency. An advertizing agency she and Jim owned. P.B & J advertising had only been around a few years but already held a large clientele base. Being the only advertising firm in Scranton. That combine with the amazing graphic designs Pam was able to come up with for the local clients was enough to ensure that the business was a smash. Her life was pretty amazing now. Little did she know that it was all going to take a drastic turn soon.
That night Pam followed her husband to bed, softly kissing him as the door shut, then making love to him for the next few hours. “I love you” She whispered against his lips before turning in his arms and drifting off to sleep oblivious to the fact that things would soon be changing for them all.
The next couple of months went by relatively smoothly for Pam. She spent time with her children, worked, took part in school functions and the rest of her routine. However the past few weeks she had not been feeling to well.
“Mommy, how come you look so sick?” Her six year old son asked her as she poured him a glass of milk to go with his after school snack. “I’m fine Jimmy, eat your carrot sticks.” She replied as she headed up the stairs holding her hands over her stomach. The sounds of vomiting could be heard down the stairs as Jim made his way into the kitchen to find his four children staring at each other and the stairs.
“Is mommy still sick?” He asked them as he placed his brief case on the counter and looked to his two eldest, the twins; Jimmy and Janie. “Yes daddy. “ Janie answered her round eye’s looking up at her father with concern.
“I’ll go check on her daddy!” He heard his for year old son call out as he jumped from the chair and ran for the stairs. “Whoa there Ty.” Jim said as he grabbed his son gently by the arm, leading him back to the table. “You sit here with your Brother and sisters while daddy goes to check on mommy.” He told his son, placing a soft kiss on his forehead as he headed for the stairs and made his way to their bathroom.
Pam sat behind the locked door; eye’s wide as she stared at the pregnancy test in her hands. Two blue lines, it had been the third she’d taken that day, and they had all said positive. How was she going to tell Jim that hey couldn’t take the offer to move the firm to New York because she was going to have another baby and their wouldn’t be enough money? The sound of Jim knocking on the door asking her if she was okay brought her back to reality. She quickly placed the pregnancy test in trashcan covering it with toilet paper before washing her face a bit and opening the door to find her caring husband standing there with a sympathetic smile covering his face.
However that was not what Pam saw, all she could see was the fear, the fear of another baby, the fear of not having the money for what they had planned the fear of crushing her husband’s dreams of owning a successful business that he loved in New York, somewhere that was outside of Scranton. He’d dreamt of getting away from there for so long and now it was happening for him. But another baby and a wife to support meant that it would have to be put on hold, once again. She couldn’t ask him to do that, the children were already enrolled in schools in New York. His mother was moving out there with them to help with the children, everything was set. It was all in motion. She had one option; she was going to have to leave. She had to get out of there, there was no other option. At least not that she could see. If she’d not been so terrified, her hormones so out of whack, then she would have realized that talking to Jim could have fixed this all.
"Are you okay?" He asjed her, concern evident in his voice.
“I’m fine.” She said softly to him as she kissed his lips and made her way to the kitchen to begin preparing dinner for her family. This would be the last meal she prepared she realized as her plans to quietly sneak out in the middle of the night took shape in her mind.
That night Pam gave into the fear. She kissed her children on the foreheads as they slept. “I love you.” The words were a mere whisper as she moved her hand to wipe away the tears that were now pouring from her eyes.
The next morning the house was it’s usual mad house, Two and a half year old Gracie screaming for her daddy to read her a story while Ty and Jimmy played swords to the dismay of Janie.
“Where’s mommy?” Gracie finally asked her father as she snuggled onto his lap that morning once he’d gotten her dressed. “I’m not sure cricket.” He said with concern in his voice. He’s not seen Pam at all that morning however he’d assumed that she had gone in to the office early to work on the pitch for the people coming in from New York. That was until he saw the note that Janie had carried up the stairs and into her sisters bedroom.
“Daddy I found this on the kitchen table, it’s from mommy I think.” Jim took the note in his hands, a few moments later his daughters saw the tears that formed in his eye’s and were immediately filled with questions for him.
Jim,
I don't have time to explain. It was nothing you did, I love you. Always know that, you and our baby's are my world. But something's happened and I just have to go, please, try and understand that I have to go. Take care of yourself, and the children.
Love always,
Pam
Jim crumpled the note in his hands as he looked at his daughters. What was he going to do? How could he be a single father? How could he live without Pam? She was everything to him, her, their family. Now it was gone, all in the blink of an eye. She had been fine the night before. Hadn't she? She'd cooked dinnelike always, they'd spent the evening making love, she'd told him how much he meant to her. That him and their children ment the world to her and now she was gone? Was this really happening? God how he wished this was just a bad dream.
Chapter End Notes:
Revies are welcome :-)
